The Right Side of History

Willful Ignorance

2011-02-02T15:47:00.027-05:00

It is a dark and gloomy Wednesday afternoon in New York City. We find ourselves in the office of Irving H. Picard, the Trustee for the liquidation of the Bernard L. Madoff fraud case. He is meeting with Fred Wilpon and his son Jeff who are the owners of the New York Mets baseball franchise. Evidently, the Wilpons invested - and withdrew - large sums of money with Madoff before he went belly up leading some to believe they knew it was all a Ponzi scheme.

Let's listen in:

Give me a check for a hundred grand plus three hundred in cash and I guarantee you walk on the conspiracy charge. But they're gonna come back at us on a tax evasion, and they'll get it.

So, what am I looking at here?

Five years. You'll be out in three. Maybe less, if I can make a deal.

Three fucking years! For what? Washing money? The fucking country was built on washed money.

It can't be that bad. It's not like Cuba.

What the fuck you talking?

The jails here are like hotels.

You kidding me or what? You fucking high or what?

I'll delay the trial. A year and a half, two years. You won't even start...

Fuck you, man! I'm not going back in no cage, okay? No way. I been there. Okay.

Look, Irving, I go another four hundred grand. That's 800,000 dollars. With that kind of money, you can buy the supreme court.

Fred, the law has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. I'm an expert at raising that doubt. But when you got a million three undeclared dollars staring into a videotape camera, honey baby, it's hard to convince a jury you found it in a taxicab.

I know I'm not convinced.

Will you please just sell the team already?

Larry B

When Night Falls

2010-02-02T19:09:00.005-05:00

Special Agent Kay: Humans, for the most part, don't have a clue. Don't want or need one. They're happy. They think they have a good bead on things.

Special Agent Jay: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.

Special Agent Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals…and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody KNEW the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody KNEW the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you KNEW that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

from Men in Black (1997)

August 5, 2002

I'm not sure Jeff.
Larry B

The Key

2009-11-25T17:23:00.005-05:00

He Started It All

In an attempt to broaden myself, as well as try to understand the madness that surrounds us, last week I began reading The Bible which is, by most acounts, the foundation book of western civilization. I finished “Numbers,” which is the fourth book of the old testament on the train this morning and I am starting to formulate some ideas. Here is a (partial) reading of verse 16:

1 Now Korah the son of Izhar, the son of Kohath, the son of Levi, with Dathan and Abiram the sons of Eliab, and On the son of Peleth, sons of Reuben, took men; 2 and they rose up before Moses with some of the children of Israel, two hundred and fifty leaders of the congregation, representatives of the congregation, men of renown. 3 They gathered together against Moses and Aaron, and said to them, "You take too much upon yourselves, for all the congregation is holy, every one of them, and the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the Lord?"

4 So when Moses heard it, he fell on his face; 5 and he spoke to Korah and all his company, saying, "Tomorrow morning the Lord will show who is His and who is holy, and will cause him to come near to Him. That one whom He chooses He will cause to come near to Him. 6 Do this: Take censers, Korah and all your company; 7 put fire in them and put incense in them before the Lord tomorrow, and it shall be that the man whom the Lord chooses is the holy one. You take too much upon yourselves, you sons of Levi!"

8 Then Moses said to Korah, "Hear now, you sons of Levi: 9 Is it a small thing to you that the God of Israel has separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to Himself, to do the work of the tabernacle of the Lord, and to stand before the congregation to serve them; 10 and that He has brought you near to Himself, you and all your brethren, the sons of Levi, with you? And are you seeking the priesthood also? 11 Therefore you and all your company are gathered together against the Lord. And what is Aaron that you complain against him?"

12 And Moses sent to call Dathan and Abiram the sons of Eliab, but they said, "We will not come up! 13 Is it a small thing that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey, to kill us in the wilderness, that you should keep acting like a prince over us? 14 Moreover you have not brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey, nor given us inheritance of fields and vineyards. Will you put out the eyes of these men? We will not come up!"

Numbers 16:1-14 (NKJV)

It continues from there and, needless to say, homeslice, homepiece and their followers all get smoked.

My Interpretation:

At the time after the deliverance, there was a lot of discontent among the tribe. Yes they were brought out of Egyptian slavery but they had not prospered at all. In fact, they were suffering many hardships trying to survive in the wilderness as compared to the relative security of being the low men on totem pole in a thriving empire. The whole Hebrew population (Over 600,000 by Moses’ census – hence the book title “Numbers”) left Egypt in mass. Out of that group I would bet that a certain percentage of them had it actually good in “the old country” because ancient slavery was not as barbaric as the American system of the 17 and 1800s. Many slaves were part of “the family” and more akin to the modern day servant. That would explain the “250 congregational leaders” (Who were possibly representing maybe 25 % of the total population) that rose up to challenge Moses’ leadership, clearly upset about their new lot in life Lord or no Lord.

Look how this passage is written and what it stresses. The rebels are seen as doubting blasphemers who deserve to be plunged into a pit created by God splitting the earth under their feet…which does happen to them and over a thousand of their followers. But what are these rebels actually saying? They are questioning authority. Here are the notes associated with these lines from the study version I am reading:

Dathan and Abiram, two allies of Korah, were so arrogant that they would not even come to stand before Moses. They attacked Moses, claiming he acted like a prince. These two approach absurdity when they charged Moses with leading them away from the land that flows with milk and honey. Possibly they were blaming Moses for the fact that the people had to turn away from the land after the rebellion at Kadesh (Numbers 13 & 14). In addition, they charged Moses with brutality. “Will you put out the eyes of these men?” Nothing in the story of The Exodus leads us to think that Moses might have done such a thing.

“Arrogant”? Why because they demanded self determination? “Claiming he acted like a prince”? Moses did. Reaching "absurdity”? Compared to the desert Egypt WAS the land of milk and honey and the only reason why it sounds “absurd” to our ears is because the lot of the people making the claim were slaves in that system and, again, our view of slavery is awfully skewed because of our own disgusting institution. Back then the practice was much more “civilized” and, quite frankly, a way of life. Remember, there are whole passages in the Bible that deal with the proper treatment of slaves and the laws governing slavery…Spoken by God himself!

And then the annotator (I believe it is Ronald B Allen Th.D - and remember this is a modern perspective) writes the last line, “Nothing in the story of Exodus leads us to think that Moses might have done such a thing” which, to say the least, is incredulous. Here is what happened when Moses discovered HIS OWN PEOPLE dancing in front of the Golden Calf:

27 And he said to them, “Thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘Let every man put his sword on his side, and go in and out from entrance to entrance throughout the camp, and let every man kill his brother, every man his companion, and every man his neighbor.’” 28 So the sons of Levi did according to the word of Moses. And about three thousand men of the people fell that day.

Exodus 32: 27-28 (NKJV)

This is not an important knock I know because this scholar is drinking the Christian Kool-Aid and I am only using his notes for clarification or counterpoint purposes. My main focus is squarely on the actual text. But, still, I can’t stand it when someone attempts to prove their argument by telling me 2 + 2 = 5.

The reader of the Book of Numbers is clearly supposed to side with Moses because he DID speak with God and to question him is to question HIM. The only reason why we think in this way is because we KNOW Moses to be righteous. And the only reason we know of his righteousness is because he is taking orders directly from God and the only reason why we know that he is taking orders directly from God is because Moses told us he did. The deck is stacked.

Granted, if I witnessed the whole parting of the Red Sea incident, as the Hebrews this passage eludes to have, I would have no doubt of Moses’ claims. In fact, I would be the first one yelling “If the Lord wants some stoning then let’s stone somebody!” But did this miraculous event ever happen (as well as the plagues, the burning bush, etc.)? I would say they did not and that those stories were exaggerations and/or concoctions of the people through the years as they orally passed on these stories from generation to generation…like a child’s game of “Telephone.”

So what are we left with: The idea of obedience. Questioning authority will cause you to die or even worse. Submitting to the Lord is the only way to survive…Doubt equals death. And THAT concept, combined with the enlightened ideas of Jesus (I did not get to the New Testament yet) i.e. move away from the insular attitude, dietary code and strict animal sacrifice rituals and move towards turn the other cheek, do not cast the first stone and love each other are the foundation of Western Society. Authoritative government, either the monarch or the priest – more often then not both side by side - telling the people what to do and having the moral sanction to keep order at any cost, which was usually by the sword.

And THAT situation is what The Enlightenment started to overturn. We are in a great transitional period in human history, starting with the ideas of the Philosophes and bolstered by incredible advancements in, first, industrial production and second, and most importantly, technological and communications. One day we will not need any of the hocus-pocus to live in a “moral” society but probably – no definitely - not in our lifetime. Until then we have to start with ourselves and try to teach our children not to rely on superstition. Teach them to use reason and observation to inform their beliefs and decisions. If we can not do it by our words then at least show them in our actions - but preferably do both.

THAT is how WE are going to move forward as a species.

Larry B

Still want that blue suit?

2009-05-26T14:51:00.011-04:00

Yeah, button up that collar. Suck in that gut. Tuck in them big black lips. Lighten your skin. Shrink up that nose. Let me tell you something, boy. You can march like the white man. You can talk like 'em. You can learn his songs. You can even wear his suits. But you ain't never gonna be nothin' to him but an ugly-ass chimp in a blue suit. So the white man give you a couple of stripes next thing you know, you hollerin' and orderin' everybody around like you the massa himself. Nigger, you ain't nothing but the white man's dog.

from Glory (1989)

With the downturn in the economy, and the scarcity of employment, I have been minding my p’s and q’s at the job. Gone are the days of trawling the net or flapping my grape for hours on end. I no longer have a lackadaisical attitude towards my work and I take very seriously the completion of any tasks that are assigned to me. I am no longer satisfied with the all too common result of having my work product blocked or corrupted by the myriad of on-payroll masons who immediately build a wall whenever some goal of mine is close to being accomplished. I try as hard as I can to eliminate as much as possible any third party involvement in my cubicle dwelling day. In fact, my only real rest time during the day is when I’m deucing.

Unfortunately, what my new spirit of production leads to is long hours at the office as well as bleary-eyed early morning and late-night subway rides. After spending a full day staring at computer screens, standing over copiers and organizing and reorganizing paper files, I some times do not have the energy to open whatever book I am reading at the time. There have been many a sojourn as of late when I just sit and stare into space, catching glimpses of the other tired commuters or the ever more frequently sighted lunatic shouting obscenities or singing to themselves very loudly filling the train with jaw droppingly offensive rap lyrics or just looking generally menacing. It is in these grey moments of consciousness, those times when I am no where near asleep but am not quite awake, that I feel as if I’m in a time warp. The sleaziness of the whole experience brings me back to my youth and a pre-Disnified City. A time when the bowels of the MTA felt like three AM all day.

The other day on the one train I actually saw someone wearing a three-fingered ring!

Along with the hooligans, junkies and freaks to stare at as you barrel through the underground one of the other sights caught in my mescaline-like vision during these rides are the abundant advertising that papers the inside of the cars. The posters are probably one foot high by three feet long, connected in a row. The row of pictures is then hung along a curvature between the wall and the ceiling which runs along the length of the car. Next to every door is a three by three square displaying another poster. Usually one entity purchases one side of the car, creating a block of pictures relating to one thing. The more clever companies/agencies create a running theme from 3 feet ad to 3 feet ad that tells a little story which is tied together by the big square by the door. The theory being that the straphanger, who is naturally looking up in this situation, can read the cute little things up top and then finally figure out what it is all about at the end and say to himself “Oh, how entertaining” and maybe, just maybe, remember the product in the future.

For example:

The first 3x1 can say in simple block text in front of a solid blue background, “Wouldn’t you rather be…” Then the next panel, in the same form, says, “If only your commute was this good…” and finally on a third tile, “Tired of reading a paper over someone’s shoulder?” As your eyes follow these three phrases from left to right they are funneled towards a 3x3 picture by the door of a bikini clad woman with a rack out to here and an ass out to there saying “Come to Bermuda” in bold type right below her crotch.

The same advertising formula can also be used for Michelob.

I assume that most urban centers have similar trains. Be it Paris, Tokyo, Moscow or St. Louis, when one rides a Metro, I imagine that one is subjected to commercials.

Which leads me to the point of this post. A few weeks ago, during one of my aforementioned zone-outs, I came across this particular piece of advertising. At first it gnawed at my sense of taste but nothing major and forgotten within seconds. But after being subjected to it five or six times since I feel it is worthy of at least a comment. And then after I sat down to write this I realized there was even much more than I thought. And after even further thought I actually think that this ad campaign could be the answer to all of my problems!

So here is the picture,

I want you to look at it for a few seconds, and just let the mind flow. Upon seeing this image, what are your thoughts? I have come up with four reasonable responses with the parenthetic mathematical equation to my soul.

1) That show looks pretty stupid and lame. (1 to 25 percent connection)

2) That show looks pretty stupid and lame. I wonder who would possibly watch a show like that? (26 to 50 percent connection)

3) That show looks pretty stupid and lame. I wonder who would possibly watch a show like that? I mean, the “reality genre” started many years ago with an original idea: Several “strangers” occupy the same house with their every move recorded by cameras so that the conflicts, actions and relationships of the participants create “real” drama which evolved to "contest" type shows which turned into "celebrity" participation which became plain narcissistic voyeurism which turned into shameless semi-scripted "docu-dramas" featuring empty headed ne'er-do-wells and, finally, stretched to the breaking point beyond contemplation. I can not see them making any more of these pieces of tripe. (51 to 99 percent connection)

4) Look at that fucking guy!

(100 percent connection)

And, of course, if you are actually interested in watching it, we probably have nothing in common.

So, is there anyone out there who sees it the way I do?

And what are you? So full of hate you wanna fight everybody 'cause you've been whipped and chased by hounds. That might not be livin' but it sure ain't dyin'. And dying's what these white boys been doin' for goin' on three years now. Dyin' by the thousands. Dyin' for you, fool! I know, 'cause l dug the graves. And all the time I'm diggin', I'm asking myself, "When? When, O Lord, is it gonna be our time?" Time's comin' when we're gonna have to ante up. Ante up and kick in like men. LIKE MEN! You watch who you call a nigger. If there's any niggers around here, it's you. Smart-mouth, stupid-ass, swamp-running nigger. If you ain't careful, that's all you ever gonna be.

from Glory (1989)

Larry B

Juices Wild

2009-03-17T23:12:00.011-04:00

Oh Jeez...

Would ya look at this...

From the April, 2009 Issue of Details Magazine

When I come upon an image like this one, three simple questions immediately pop into my mind:

A) Which one of A-Roid's battery of publicists, spin-doctors, lawyers and agents came up with the idea for this shoot?

B) How much does someone get paid for dispensing such judicious advice?

C) How do I get his job?

I mean, seriously, given the facts of your client's situation and the massive negative ground swell directed against him, what kind of professional anything would recommend doing a magazine spread that features the client in a flamboyantly narcissistic pose kissing his own reflection in the mirror? Is there any accountability? Didn't any one of his high priced janitors turn to him and tell him that taking this picture is probably the single worst thing you could possibly do right now?

I have posted twice on this joker (Two Peas in a Pod and Baseball is the Constant) so my opinions about this man's standing in the baseball world are pretty clear: I would pick many other ballplayers to be on my club before calling this guy. I know my position is debatable but I have been saying it since 2000 and I feel there is no reason to change my mind. All A-Fraud offers you are stats and what he takes is your team's soul.

A little harsh? Maybe but I don't care. I'm in it for the entertainment and, boy, when it comes to spectacle, this boy can bring it!

For all of you out there who haven't seen, haven't cared or don't even know who I am talking about, I will sum it up. In the span of approximately one year this celebrity dilettante by the name of Alex Rodriguez, considered by many to be the "greatest baseball player…possibly ever" tested positive for Steroids and Testosterone tainting his phenomenal statistics and branding him a cheater. He has fallen from grace and is now considered a pariah. During this period, far from minimizing any damage by laying low, he has fed the media monster large portions of red meat. First he goes through a nasty divorce, brought on by his sleeping with the (also married) Madonna - fulfilling both stars Joe DiMaggio/Marilyn Monroe fetishes - and then was outed as a performance-enhancing drug user. The circus that ensued…and when I say "circus" I mean complete with overstuffed funny cars full of tabloid writers, cable clowns and radio saps …became as oppressive as a hot August Brooklyn night when you have no air conditioning and you're out of Piels. He was front page fodder for one-month straight and back page sausage for two.

This was my favorite:

New York Post 2/9/2009

I feel guilty sometimes when I think about how many laughs I've enjoyed at this guy's expense. It isn't right, wanting someone else to fail just so you can snicker at the messiness. I know that. I really do. But A-Bomb brings so much of it on himself it is almost excusable. The laundry list of ridiculum is rather long ranging from strictly baseball issues like his failure to hit in the clutch and being a truly disliked teammate in the clubhouse. Or from off the field shenanigans like all night poker games, strip joints, Kabbalah worshipping and Madonna chasing. There was that ridiculous scene in Central Park where he and his wife (who he was repeatedly cheating on) "happened" to be there with a pack of photographers who also "happened" to be there to take endless pictures of the shirtless A-Fool who just "happens" to normally stand around and pose knowingly for cameras who he "doesn't know" are there. And then there are the completely insincere press conferences and interviews where he is obviously lying through his teeth.

And now this photo.

I have no doubt, with all the over compensation and insecurity he displays that, in the end, all this guy wants is to be loved. I see it in his words and in his actions. In his mind he has said everything and has done everything right since he came here. And then after five years of that calculated image building, after five years of trying so desperately to carve out his place in immortality, he wakes up one day, looks at the paper and sees the word A-HOLE in bold type stretched across his grape.

What a true fucking human tragedy.

Larry B

Ironic Family Values

2009-03-12T11:10:00.025-04:00

irony [ahy-ruh-nee] - noun

1) The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.
2) An outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
3) The incongruity of this.

e.g. R. Reagan (POTUS - 1981 to circa 1986) and Nancy R. (POTUS circa 1986 to 1988). were considered a) strong military figure b) stalwarts of “traditional family values” c) big government reducer – but were in reality a) beneficiaries of a studio head pulling strings to get out of REAL military duty b) the only divorcee president and a woman who faked a pregnancy to trap a married man c) presided over the largest increase in government deficit spending in the union’s history

What was the over/under on this shit?

I think the Bellagio in Vegas had it at six months from November 4, 2008. That was the date when the electorate of the United States tossed the McCain/Palin ticket onto the nationwide bonfire of reason. A 24-hour period when, this author at least, felt alive for the first time in a VERY long time. A date when half-erect human animals crawled out of their caves of ignorance and decided to use tools again. A moment in time when millions of people declared that they no longer wanted to have their backs urinated on…and told it was raining.

Oh, I'm sorry what, you may ask, am I talking about?

...and Romeo wanted Juliet

Bristol Dumps ‘White Trash’ Baby Daddy

BY BELL HUTCIHNSON
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

The Teen Romance that prompted a pregnant pause in Sarah Palin’s bid to become U.S. Vice President is over.

Levi Johnston said last night that he will not be Palin’s son-in-law, confirming he and Bristol Palin, the mother of his baby boy, have broken up.

The 19-year-old hockey hunk told The Associated Press that he and Bristol Palin 18, mutually agreed to end their relationship “a while ago.”

He declined to elaborate.

Bristol Palin, who is still in high school, issued her own statement to the wire service, saying she is “devastated.”

Johnston broke his silence after his sister, Mercede, told Star magazine that the couple called it quits after Bristol Palin referred to the Johnston family as “white trash.”

Mercede Johnston. 18, said the daughter of Alaska’s Republican governor dumped her brother; Levi, an out-of-work high school dropout,

And she said Bristol Palin, who took her beau to the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, has made it tough for him to spend time with his 2-month-old son, Tripp.
“Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible,” Mercede Johnston told Star magazine.

“She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’ she said.

In December, Levi Johnston’s mother, Sherry, was busted in an undercover drug sting and charged with six felonies involving the painkiller Oxy Contin.

“Bristol won’t even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours unless he’s baby-sitting,” said Mercede Johnston, whose brother was forced to quit his oil field apprenticeship in January after questions were raised about his qualifications.
The sister said Bristol Palin’s demeaning attitude has been bolstered by Sarah Palin.
“I used to love Sarah,” she said. “But I’ve lost lots of respect for her.”

New York Daily News
3/12/2009

In October of 2008 I bet LARGE on the under... and I fucking scored! Receiving five to one on my money I can now safely retire to my bedroom where stacks and stacks of cash fill my vision from morning to night. I look left - a pile of cabbage. I look right - a serious mound of slaw. I look dead center - I see nothing but a slew of portraitures depicting long-dead white guys, sporting funny wigs and silly beards, staring at me, winking knowingly, telling me that I have worth.

TAKE THAT you 1930s style bottoming out economy!

In all seriousness, although I did (correctly) predict the outcome of this "match made in heaven," who did not see this coming? This high school aged, pregnant girl's decision to marry this self proclaimed Lothario was so obviously politically driven that I think the priest who was even considering performing that sham ceremony should be defrocked. The only thing these two kids probably ever wanted from each other was a stiff shaft or a soft hole. That's it. There was no thought of "commitment," domesticity or love in their heads. They simply were just two teenagers fucking and sucking on a lime green Dacron sofa, or groping and roping in the back seat of an overpriced inefficient American car or signed into a sleazy hourly rate motel with a fake ID, pumping and stumping on a bug ridden lumpy mattress - i.e. they were being "normal."

There, of course, were two major problems with their, unfortunately all too common, situation. The first, and by far the most critical, was that they did not use any kind of birth control resulting in an unwanted pregnancy. The second, and most telling, is that the mother of the knocked up girl was an over-the-top moralist type, right wing governor, who had just been picked by the reactionary party to be their "front man" in the campaign to sure up the party's base: backward, sexually repressed, borderline psychotic, jingoistic control freaks. And the last thing that would guarantee the support of backward, sexually repressed, borderline psychotic, jingoistic control freaks would be an extremely close relative who is an unwed teenage mother who spends her days skipping school and her nights getting poked in the whiskers. Hence, the engagement of a boy who is…

… “a fuckin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick ass."

from Johnston’s MySpace profile

…and a girl whose idea of responsibility is always making sure that the Vodka bottle is screwed on tightly before putting it back into the freezer, was announced.

And what is the objection to gay marriage again?

On second thought, her crowd would have probably been more outraged if her son turned out to be a Jewish, left-wing, homosexual, pornopgrapher, card carrying ACLU member…with an extreme foot fetish, and definitely would have required more spin.

Anyway, I do not want to harp on the ridiculous pitfalls, the HUGE gaps between what they say and what they do or the base, petty, emptiness that - specifically - the Palins incarnate and that – generally - their whole wing represents. Because, their hypocrisy, shallowness and destructiveness have passed over from “point of view” to objective fact. Any third party neutral observer, any legitimate arbitrator, any alien from another planet, if given the information, incidents and rhetoric associated with Sarah Palin over the last ten months, would draw the same conclusion that I have – She is anti-progress, She is anti-reason, She is corrupt, She is a charlatan opportunist with no conviction, She is bad for America.

But, I really don’t care about her. I don’t have any interest in calling her incompetent, or idiotic, or unsophisticated, or an asshole, or a fool, or a fuck-face, or a scourge that should be removed from the body politic. I don’t. She could be the governor of Alaska to the day she dies and it would be absolutely no skin off my nose. I mean that sincerely. I actually want to look at this from a completely different angle because, mentioning the government graft, the misuse and abuse of power, the book burning, the mean vindictive cruelty towards rivals, the witch doctor advisors, the secessionist sympathizing, the jaw-dropping blown photo-ops and the draw-dropping family behavior, would be too easy. No, this story, although excruciatingly predictable, should be the final piece, the last straw, the rook to king seven checkmate move, that finally convinces you that the moral bankruptcy of the Republican Party is total.

“YO! YO BETTER SHUT YO FUCK’N MOUTH BOY! THAT’S MY DADDY YO TALK’N ‘BOUT!”

Let me try to clarify my, admittedly, absurdly general blanket statement because I know there are many reasonable Republicans out there who do not consider their philosophy as negative nor their party leadership as particularly immoral. At best, they think all politicians are assholes and the Democrats are no better. I, of course, disagree with this position but, for the sake of our country, I am willing to try to see a way that we could have common ground. As for the hardcores out there who still couldn’t see even if Vishnu himself showed up in a majestic display of lights and colors, stood erect and pointed his finger at them and declared “THE REPUBLICANS ARE WRONG!” I view as a fundamentalist Christian looks at me…eternally lost.

And let’s forget about McCain. He is a man who is steadily rising up the rather long list of truly tragic American characters. Fuck Dubya. Oliver Stone should make a movie about this cat. A terrible tale about a person who does not break during years of physical torture in a North Vietnamese POW camp only to make a Faustian deal with the Republican party, selling his soul, just for even a glimpse at the brass ring. I already have a treatment in mind that I could pitch Stone. The film would begin with McCain’s plane crashing spectacularly into the dense south East Asian jungle and ending with his phone call to Palin. The last vestige of dignity shed, the circle complete.

No. This party has been hammering the American public with some divisive rhetoric. Some of it, if not all of it, was flat out silly and just did not take. But there was one point of attack that was truly offensive. That was the point of view that if you are not from some small town, if you know a foreign language, if you can speak correctly, then you are not a real American. Even the word “cosmopolitan” somehow became a smear. I saw this idea being drilled into the submissive audience at the Lew “Jack Off” Dobbs show I went to, I saw it on the 24 hr CNN swill-fest they have playing on the jumbo HD TV in the lobby of my building and I saw it, and this is completely incredible, coming from Rudolph Giuliani the former mayor of…SURVEY SAYS…New York City which, for all you keeping score out there, the largest and most cosmopolitan city in the United States of America.

So, this party, feeling that the only way they could win is to vilify a large portion of the citizenry, trot out Sarah Palin. I am picturing the conversations that these maestros at the RNC were having before that fatal move.

Anti-American #1: For Vice-President how about that hot bitch up in Alaska? She sure is folksy and those maniacs with the doomsday obsessions would definitely dig her “I am so proud to be just one ignorant piece of shit” thing.

Anti-American #2: “Yeah. These fucking rubes will eat up any feces we serve them.”

To be honest with you, I don’t think it was a particularly bad strategy…if your only concern was to retain power and you could not give a flying fuck about your country, your fellow man or your planet.

But here is the thing that is so offensive. The salient point of their “Hate everybody from a city and is smarter than you” schtick is that old faithful label they threw around: “Elitist.” “Obama is an elitist because he can think!” “Michael Moore is an elitist because he can produce a movie!” “That mother fucker sitting next to you right now reading anything over a second grade level is an elitist!” “EVERYBODY is an ELITIST who you feel vaguely threatened by!”

I remember during the actual campaign, there were leaks coming from the McCain and/or Palin camps that painted a pretty ugly picture – in pretty course terms - of the Wasilla Barracuda. There was massive dissatisfaction with her total lack of decorum, calling the whole clan as a bunch of “hillbillies” run amok. The image these CAMPAIGN INSIDERS spread was of an unsophisticated whore and her sycophantic hanger-ons rummaging through extremely upscale shops, pawing at anything they could get their mitts around. Stuffing endless amounts of designer shit into hefty bags while putting it all on the Republican dime. The way these whistle blowers – the same people who tried to sell you all the elitist crap – talked about their supposed champion it was obvious that they abhorred her behavior and felt completely superior. In other words, they sounded like elitists.

And now, from this article, I see this line:

“She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash’ she said.

I have no doubt…NO FUCKING DOUBT…that the Palin clan - the people with the clothes grabbing, the exorcisms, the teenage un-wed mothers, the illiteracy, the inquisitiveness of a deep water sponge – have nothing but contempt for the people that they serve. That is, of course, until they need your vote and then you will get the Angie Dickinson wink and the Janet Jackson tit flash.

Simply put, the Republican Party has nothing to offer you but fulfilling your darkest nightmares. Please stop going the way of McCain.

irony [ahy-ruh-nee] - noun

1) The use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning.
2) An outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
3) The incongruity of this.

e.g. S. Palin (Gov. AK - 2006 to ?) considers herself a) a government reformer b) an unadorned straight shooter c) a true representative of REAL America – but is in reality a) a completely hypocritical shite-head who thrives on cruelty, a promoter of bigotry and intolerance, a petty grifter who never met a kickback she didn’t take, a liar…

You know, come to think of it…

Maybe irony is not the right word.

Larry B

What A Wonderful World

2008-12-08T23:55:00.002-05:00

"We're trying to sell peace, like a product, you know, and sell it like people sell soap or soft drinks. And it's the only way to get people aware that peace is possible, and it isn't just inevitable to have violence. Not just war — all forms of violence. People just accept it and think 'Oh, they did it, or Harold Wilson [British prime minister at the time] did it, or Nixon did it,' they're always scapegoating people. And it isn't Nixon's fault. We're all responsible for everything that goes on, you know, we're all responsible for Biafra and Hitler and everything. So we're just saying "SELL PEACE" — anybody interested in peace just stick it in the window. It's simple but it lets somebody else know that you want peace too, because you feel alone if you're the only one thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if there was peace and nobody was getting killed.' So advertise yourself that you're for peace if you believe in it."

John Lennon
The David Frost Show - 6/14/1969

"Now, in the sixties we were naive, like children. Everybody went back to their rooms, and said, ‘We didn’t get a wonderful world of just flowers and peace and happy chocolate, and it won’t be just pretty and beautiful all the time,’ and just like babies everyone went back to their rooms and sulked. ‘We’re going to stay in our rooms and play rock and roll and not do anything else, because the world’s a horrible place, because it didn’t give us everything we cried for.’ Right?…well, crying for it wasn’t enough. The thing the sixties did was show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility."

John Lennon
KFRC RKO Radio - 12/8/1980

This is how that man had his life ended 28 years ago:

"I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong."

John Lennon
1940-1980

Larry

Short Shots From The Cube Buddha

2008-11-23T10:02:00.009-05:00

Zen and the Art of Wasting Your Life

On Parenting:

I remember when I was a kid watching a live performance of the Charlie Daniels Band on television. The show was either the Grammys or the American Music Awards, etc. I really have no idea what the venue was but, of course, the band was playing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” When Charlie arrived at the line “I told you once you son of a bitch I’m the best there’s ever been!” he was not edited. The word BITCH came through loud and clear on network television.

Now for you post NYPD Blue young’ns out there remember this was the late 1970s and bad language of any kind had absolutely no home on free television. So this authoritative outburst from a bearded, cowboy-hat wearing, shit kicker was rather shocking to my preteen ears.

Expressing that feeling, I said out loud that I am really surprised that the singer just said what he said. Upon hearing this my father said to me, “That’s because he wrote it!”

A solid life lesson…and at the time I didn’t even know it.

On the Nature of the Beast:

Yesterday I received a financial solicitation from an organization called Farm Sanctuary. They are an advocacy group for saving abused or abandoned animals, providing them with a place to live after they’re rescued. I don’t really know much about this charity but I receive requests in the mail pretty frequently because I made a donation once a long time ago. They seem to be legitimate and their cause is most certainly noble. In this particular mailer, one bulleted passage really struck me:

“On an Iowa farm 600 pigs were released by perpetrators who cruelly intended to chase them down and run them over with cars. At least 30 pigs reportedly lost their lives that night, and many more suffered broken bones and injuries.”

I eat pork. I enjoy pork. In soup, with pasta, over rice, barbecued, in sandwiches…just about anyway the western world has come up with to prepare it.

With that being said, I ask myself, exactly what kind of sick fucking people do we have living in this country?

On Music:

From the Billy Joel song “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”:

Well they got an apartment with deep pile carpets
 And a couple of paintings from Sears
 A big waterbed that they bought with the bread
 They had saved for a couple of years
 But they started to fight when the money got tight
 And they just didn't count on the tears.

Oh Oh, Oh Oh

Yeah rock 'n roll

 

Originally appearing on the huge 1977 release The Stranger, I happened to hear this track on my local “classic rock” radio station this afternoon. I have heard this song, and this is no exaggeration, AT LEAST a hundred times over my life and, in all honesty, I think he spins a pretty decent tale in the long-form storytelling style of music which category this song firmly falls in. I have been to many bars over the last five years that were packed with early twenty somethings with this song playing in the background on the jukebox. I never thought much about it.

After hearing these lyrics, I wonder if these patrons, sipping their Chocolate Martinis and So-Co and Limes, have any idea what Billy Joel is talking about?

On Circular History:

After watching the election coverage and results on Tuesday I can say that I’m with Barack Obama when he says that we should leave in the past the concept of Red States and Blue States.

We should stop using red and change the color to grey.

On Language:

What you're hired for is to help us--does that seem clear to you? To help us. Not to fuck us up.

I think of these lines from the David Mamet play and film Glengarry Glen Ross every time I have any dealings with any department called a “help desk” – possibly the most Orwellian named entity in the corporate world.

On Unity:

On November 11, 2008, Veterans Day, a week after the general election, on the MSNBC show 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, former Republican Staten Island congress woman Susan Molinari – now billed as a Republican Strategist – had this to say:

 

I think we had one of the best nights of the Republican Party when Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin gave a speech at the national convention. I think we can duplicate that and be a successful majority party moving forward. I think getting her out there is a smart thing for all of us.

No comment. Just ponder what a "Republican Strategist" believes is a great night for a party that included Abe, Teddy and Dwight.

On Relativism:

Yesterday I stood at the base of my office building, staring out into space, feeling sorry for myself. I was unhappy with my job, my situation…my life. I realized, for the most part, my dissatisfaction stemmed from my own decisions and actions so, I knew, I really did not have anyone to blame. It was an intellectual realization only and, rarely, do revelations of that type trump actual emotions to the contrary. I continued staring, alternating between the graying sky and the graying cobblestones that make up the pavement between my glass tower and the adjacent building, muttering to myself “if only…if only…if only.” The word despair would not half describe the feeling of melancholy that was overwhelming me.

As my self-pity reached its zenith, a small pigeon alighted a few yards from my feet. I watched as the bird stuck his beak between the cobbles, desperately attempting to lap up the water that settled in the crack - a remnant of the early morning rain.

The scene gave me pause.

On Perception:

When you stop drinking, or using any of the so-called “recreational drugs” that human society has to offer, the world appears to be a much different place. I am not sure which world is better.

I am sure which is harder.

On Culture:

In this fat fuck’s most humble opinion, the 1980s were the worst decade for film since the fall of the studio system. American cinema was dominated by slasher movies, mindless testosterone drenched action pictures, sophomoric comedic feces piles and John Hughes brat-pack coming of age smugfests. And, to add insult to injury, the “serious” or “arty” corner was dominated by those snooze-inducing Merchant-Ivory type things that left me propping my head up in boredom or clutching my stomach in pain and, sometimes, if it were a real gem, both. If it were not for Oliver Stone, one could argue that - for a ten year period - a true human art form disappeared from the North American continent.

Here are the titles of the Academy Award winning best…I repeat BEST…films from 1980 to 1989 in order:

“Ordinary People,” “Chariots of Fire,” “Gandhi,” “Terms of Endearment,” “Amadeus,” “Out of Africa,” “Platoon,” “The Last Emperor,” “Rain Man” and the grand daddy of them all “Driving Miss Daisy.”

On that list there are three…possibly four…films that today I would consider even WATCHABLE, much less superior. I know the Oscar selection process has always been more of an election/popularity contest then a statement of worth but, CHRIST! If these were considered “the best” what the hell does that say about the worst? Or even the mediocre?

Come to think of it, I did kind of dig The Evil That Men Do starring Charles Bronson when I saw it at the Georgetown Theater in Brooklyn back in 1984.

Of course, during the course of that viewing, we did smoke up a half ounce of cheeba.

Being fat is not only physical,
It is a state of mind.
Larry B

Rock Out With Your Barack Out!

2008-11-05T00:50:00.002-05:00

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.

Abraham Lincoln
Second Annual Message to Congress
December 1, 1862

Larry B

It's Morning in America Again...

2008-11-03T19:53:00.004-05:00

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.

Barack Obama

He (Obama) said the other day that his (Iowa) primary victory "vindicated" his faith in America. My country has never had anything to prove to me, my friends. I have always had faith in it, and I have been humbled and honored to serve it.

John McCain

We, all of us really, grew up with our heads up our ass and some of us figured out how to pull our heads out.

Michael Moore

Two years ago today (My post "Election Eve Special") I gave a personal endorsement to the Democratic Party. I believe my exact quote was "vote Democrat straight down the line." It was the first time in my life that I did such a thing and the results were nothing short of spectacular! Upon hearing my proclamation, wave after wave of "Larry-Crats" hit the polling booths…and the Democratic Party rode that crest all the way to control of both the House and Senate in 2006.

Being that it is election eve again, it is time for me to formally declare which candidate I support for President of the United States. After much hand wringing about this most important choice, after listening to much internal and external debate, I can honestly say I have finally reached a decision…

Barack Obama.

In all seriousness, Barack has run the best campaign I have ever seen. I do remember Reagan's pitch - which the title of this post alludes to - but I was a lot younger then. I didn't dig Ron's thing but, in 1984, I knew that he connected with a whole slew of people who were fed-up. Ronny was positive and the fake cowboy took the population on a solid ride. It was intensely on point and people gravitated.

The same can be said about Obama. He has taken the high road without looking weak. He is a true uniter not a divider. He is smart and reasonable. I think, for the first time in my life, what I feel to be true is being eloquently expressed in the political forum. If that point of view is rejected by the electorate - than so be it.

But I am feeling confident that this is going to be a popular, as well as, an electoral landslide tomorrow. I am going to bed tonight completely sure that when the chips are down, We will choose Hope over Fear, Compassion over Cynicism, Knowledge over Ignorance. And when that statistical fact comes true, a broad-based mandate will exist that can create a new beginning in this country. Maybe the middle and working classes will get a fairer shake. Maybe Our foreign policy will become more stable and realistic.

At least, for you skeptics out there, that is at least a possibility.

I implore you to vote tomorrow even if you reside in a state that is "in the bag" (such as my home state of New York.) Go to the polls anyway. Make that national total as high as we can possibly make it. Let us show that this is no fluke.

I want to believe again.

Putting all of his eggs in one basket,
Larry B

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!THE NEXT...

2008-09-22T20:04:00.009-04:00

...PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES!!!

His name is He Pingping from China and he has been officially named the world's smallest man. He is two foot five.

I want him to be our next President. The partisanship in Washington is out of control leaving us the real possibility that whomever gets elected will have a hard time getting things done. I believe that only He can bring our bloodied nation together and unify our great people to once again pursue a noble and worthy endeavor called Democracy. Pingping has a special ability to bring together, Republican and Democrat, Religious and Secularist, friend and foe. His recent visit to New York brought out the very best in us.

Here are some quotes from the September 19, 2008 New York Daily News:

Taxis screeched to a halt, cops pulled out cell phone cameras, and jaded New Yorkers gasped Thursday as a 2-foot-5 wonder named He Pingping led a crowd down the famed boulevard like a pint-sized Pied Piper. "That's just crazy!" exclaimed passerby Delphine Franklin, 5-feet-5, as pedestrians thronged to the 20-year-old who is the size of a 6-month-old baby.

Pingping doesn't talk much but seemed completely at ease in the hustle and bustle of skyscraper city, waving at the gawkers. He had to stand on his toes to reach the lowest buttons on the elevator at the Grand Hyatt. Sitting on the bed in his hotel room, he looked like a doll. "I wanna pick him up and put him in my purse!" said one woman on the street.

In China, Pingping leads a pretty ordinary life in a house equipped with special low doorknobs and a high chair for meals."He likes to watch TV, listen to music and smoke," his brother-in-law said. "He doesn't like it when people treat him like a child."

He creates a stir wherever he goes. In Grand Central, commuters stopped in their tracks and begged to shake his hand."People have never seen anything like him," Glenday said. Despite his size, the sometimes crushing crowds apparently don't bother Pingping. "He likes the attention," said his brother-in-law.

Ridiculous?

Now you know how I feel when someone tries to explain to me why they think McCain/Palin is good for our country.

Larry B

Send in the Clowns

2008-09-18T19:45:00.004-04:00

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice spoke at the German Marshall Fund in Washington D.C. today. This is some of what she had to say.

"The picture emerging from this pattern of behavior is that of a Russia increasingly authoritarian at home and aggressive abroad. Our strategic goal now is to make it clear to Russia's leaders that their choices are putting Russia on a one-way path to self-imposed isolation and international irrelevance. We cannot afford to validate the prejudices that some Russian leaders seem to have: that if you pressure free nations enough -- if you bully, and threaten, and lash out -- we will cave in, and forget, and eventually concede."

What is truly scary is that there was not one shred of irony in her voice.

This ignorant circus must end.

Larry B

Republican Campaign Posters

2008-09-16T21:29:00.004-04:00

That I would like to see.

On National Leadership...

On Fiscal Responsibility...

On Crisis Management...

On Family Values and Morality...

On Global Vision...

On National Defense...

Disturbing? - Yes.
Childish? - Sure.
Offensive? - Absolutely.

But how so terribly true.

Larry B

Let My People Go!

2008-09-14T20:55:00.004-04:00

"This monument, ladies and gentlemen, tells a story. If you look to the front, you'll see on the inset, 'The Laws of Nature and of Nature's God.' It was on those laws, the will of the Maker, upon which the Declaration of Independence was premised and upon which the Constitution was predicated."

Roy Moore
Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court
Monument Dedication
August - 2001

In 2002, Chief Justice Moore was ordered by the Federal Court to remove this statue...for obvious reasons...and he refused.

In 2003, he was removed from the bench...for obvious reasons...and this is what he has been up to for the past few years:

Moral Law.org

I happened to glance at the title of one of his articles and immediately fell in love:

U.S. Constitution: A secular document?

I know I inserted the link but I can't, in good conscience, expect you to read that gorgeous piece of prose, so I was nice enough to clip an excerpt:

Some who mistakenly consider our Constitution to be a "secular" document with no relationship to God will no doubt question the relevance of asking candidates about moral issues. But our Founding Fathers would have considered it strange if we did not insist that our leaders clarify their views on issues such as abortion, homosexuality, and the intimate relationship between God and our federal Constitution.

Ok. I freely admit when it comes to this CHIEF JUSTICE'S views, I am one of those who are mistaken. I DO think of our Constitution as COMPLETELY SECULAR, written by people - for people. I think of it as a primary document of western civilization that in a thousand years will probably be looked on as one of the milestones in human social evolution and a real product of that period in history called The Enlightenment.

But I'm fucking crazy!

So, with the state of my mental incapacitation firmly identified, I couldn't help wondering about what this CHIEF JUSTICE meant by talking of the "intimate relationship between God and our federal Constitution"? Because the way I see it, and I know I am just a moron, is that the Constitution deals with a system of government. Among other things, this system is to pass laws and such so that people can live in "freedom" and "prosper" and all those other high ideals that the Declaration of Independence was talking about. Why would God choose to be "intimately" involved in that? Didn't God give his constitution on Mt. Sinai many years earlier? Does He feel that it needs to be revised?

I think the CHIEF JUSTICE'S idea, judging by his choice of art work, is that the Ten Commandments, as told to us in a book written well over a thousand years ago and revised many times since (come to think of it...just like our constitution gets amended), are irrefutably the Law of God. And since they are the Laws of God then they are our laws as well and should be upheld with the backing of the Federal Government. Makes sense to me. What's good enough for God is good enough for America.

With my newfound clarity, and wanting to be a good civic-minded citizen, I looked up our new Constitution. I think it has already been ratified by 22 southern and mid-western states. Now these are the kind of progressive and forward thinking ideas* we need to compete in the new Millennium:

1) Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me

Unless, of course, you are one of the billions of people on this planet, or one of the millions in this country, who do.

2) Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image

This text appears on the graven stone in Alabama. I had no idea what it meant so I decided to do a little research on the web. The Biblical Scripture that deals with this Commandment ( KJV Deuteronomy 5: 8-10) takes this paraphrased law a tad further:

"...or any likeness of any thing that is in Heaven above, or that is in the Earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments."

Oh boy...I hope THAT part isn't what, "...the Declaration of Independence was premised and upon which the Constitution was predicated," because that sound like Osama talk!

3) Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The LORD Thy God In Vain

CHRIST! I hope that never becomes criminalized.

4) Remember The Sabbath Day, To Keep It Holy

This one is interesting.

It is, once again, a paraphrase and this is the part that didn't make Charlton's stone:

"...Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates." ( KJV Deuteronomy 5: 13-14 )

After lying to, stealing from and murdering...That's nine, eight and six for those keeping score at home...the native inhabitants of North America, White English settlers formed colonies and created laws that dogmatically adhered to the Commandments.

Here is one example from the world Judge Moore wants us to live in. It was written on October 22, 1695 in my home state of New York:

Whereas the true and sincere service and worship of God, according to his holy will and commandments, is often profaned and neglected by many of the inhabitants and sojourners within this Province, who do not keep holy the Lord's day, but in a disorderly manner, accustom themselves to travel, laboring, working, shooting, fishing, sporting, playing, horseracing, frequenting of tippling-houses, and the using of many other unlawful exercises and pastimes upon the Lord's day, to the great scandal of the holy Christian faith: Be it therefore enacted ... that there shall be no traveling, servile laboring and working, shooting, fishing, sporting, playing, horse racing, hunting, or frequenting of tippling-houses, or the use of any other unlawful exercises or pastimes, by any of the inhabitants or sojourners within this Province, or by any of their slaves or servants, on the premises shall forfeit for every offense the sum of six shillings ... and in default of such distress, that the party offending, to be set publicly in the stocks by the space of three hours.

Source:
American State Papers
Bearing on Sunday Legislation (1911)

The remnants of these obvious cases of forcing a RELIGIOUS belief system upon the populace could be seen in existence until at least the 1960s when merchants started to openly rebel against them. Today, in New York State, the buying and selling of products, even ones that are considered "immoral" such as liquor and pornography, are at the complete discretion of the vender and the consumer. I think that is a good thing…Free Will.

5) Honor Thy Father And Thy Mother

For how long? Should there be a law against being a rock singer, racecar driver or street magician because Mom and Dad want you to become a Doctor?

6) Thou Shalt Not Kill

Pretty straightforward. I can't argue. It just needs to be applied CONSISTENTLY.

7) Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery

Don't wait up for me Martha...

I got me a job building jails!!!

8) Thou Shalt Not Steal

YES!!! I only wish it applied to soulless corporations as well.

9) Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor

Another good one! But, unfortunately for us little guys, this does not apply to Republicans or their minions.

10) Thou Shalt Not Covet

Another paraphrase from the Alabama Guru but understandable since the full text would sound ridiculous in this day and age:

"…thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbor's." ( KJV Deuteronomy 5: 21 )

Well, maybe not so silly. I have coveted many an ass in my day. Should I have been brought in front of some governmental tribune to face punishment for my thoughts?

And I'M the one who’s fucking crazy?

The Republican Party’s choice of Sarah Palin as vice-presidential nominee was obviously a political ploy. It is a transparent attempt to drive a wedge into progressives, specifically women who were supporting Hillary Clinton. It is also an absurdly cynical move to co-opt the concept of feminism and paint themselves, the people in power for the last eight years, as outsiders - victims of the establishment. Just today as I walked into my office, I saw a copy of the New York Post in the lobby. Glancing at it as I walked by I saw this line, accompanied by a picture of Palin, at the top of the page. Mind you, it was not the headline but right above the paper’s banner:

Sarah – "Obama should have picked Hillary as running mate."

If you do not believe me just listen to any Republican talking points that are being projected at you – at this very minute - on any number of corporate run media news outlets.

But that is only half of the story. They also picked Palin because she is completely in line with Judge Roy Moore and everything he wants our country to be. Those three million evangelicals courted by Karl Rove in 2000 and 2004 - so openly in those days - are now being thrown a bone. McCain is not a religious nut so to get these doomsday repressives all excited the party trots out a uniquely unqualified individual who takes pride in being violent, ignorant and superstitious – in other words just like them. The only solstice I take is in the fact that this pandering, so open in previous elections, has gone underground. There is much less "We were chosen by God" talk coming out of the GOP and more old school fear mongering. I think even they know that is not going to be enough in this upcoming election.

It might be underground but these 17th century views are at the core of their philosophy. It is whom they represent. And although McCain does not come out of that mold, make no mistake, a vote for McCain/Palin is a vote for the validation of those views – no matter how they try to dress it up.

But, I’m not worried too much. Palin is already being exposed for the shallowness and meanness she truly represents. I know that really isn’t enough to guarantee a victory but this year the choice is so clear that even people who did not know it in 2000 – or 2004 – have to know it now. It is the choice between hope and fear. Between science and superstition. Between the future and the past. And with having that knowledge the electorate still wants to vote for these clowns - firmly against their own interests - then we deserve what we get.

But as simple campaign strategy, I agree with what Roseanne Barr said on Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday night:

"I wish that he (Obama) would go for McCain's throat because there's so much there to go for and just forget her. Forget her."

Is there anyone out there who did NOT know what the "Bush Doctrine" was?

Larry B

* For further reading GodsTenLaws.com
has a comprehensive list of The Ten Commandments as they appear in three different editions of the Bible – King James Version (KJV), New International Version (NIV) and The New Living Translation (NLT).

A Little Dobb Will Do Ya

2008-09-09T23:33:00.006-04:00

(***Editor's Note*** - The Right Side of History wishes to apologize in advance for the course language in the following post. The author had an extremely unnerving experience and the text reflects his state of agitation.)

I went to the taping of the Lou Dobbs show yesterday on CNN live at 7PM. His theme this week is an "Independent Convention" where non-partisan people can openly exchange views. For going I received a ten dollar gift certificate for Barnes & Noble and a complimentary writing tablet that has the words "CNN=Politcs" written across the front!

Lucky for me, right before I went to the production I just finished the book Hell's Angels. After reading that (As well as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72) I was impressed with the journalistic style of the author. So, in honor of Hunter S Thompson, here are the verbatim notes that I took long hand during the hour and a half I was trapped in that small studio with the Gargoyle and his minions.

"This is awesome! This is my first taping of a political show. I usually do "The View" or "Oprah." I' m glad I'm going to do something fun!" - Woman behind me age about 35.

The M.C. "warms us up" like we're waiting for a sit-com.

M.C.: "YOU COULD BE ON TV!"

M.C.: "I will applaud - then you follow."

Moved homely couple for two blondes.

Before show last story on CNN is how Palin's glasses are selling "Quadruple!" One customer ordered by writing "Palinize me!"

Literally hooping and hollering.

Dobbs: "Independently minded voters are demanding…" then went through roughly six different polls. "Evidently most voters are looking at the McCain/Palin ticket will be best to tackle the economy."

Dobbs: "No leadership in 20 years on the deficit issue in EITHER party!"
Q: What about Clinton?

Teleprompters working overtime.

Told to, "lean on my left cheek" Evidently I was blocking a shot.

M.C.: "Stand by for applause everyone."

"Both parties" said over and over.
Q: New talking point?

This is so fucking fake.

Video piece - Woman reporter then stands around studio uncomfortably.

Dobbs paints a truly bleak picture but does not point out that one party controlled everything since 2001 and 2002 is the year his economics expert guest said was the dropping off point to disaster.

Dobbs: "Many say what we are talking is boring. But what IS boring…to the critical issues!" (Applause)
Q: Then what is with the poll talk?

M.C.: "No applause on this one please."

Video piece - Reporter: "Mexican drugs and violence pouring in over the border…"

All the guests and the host are old pasty white guys wearing an obscene amount of pancake makeup.

Guest T Boone Pickens book - "The First Billion is the Hardest."

We're behaving like trained seals.

Dobbs: "On off shore drilling Pelosi said, 'I'M TRYING TO SAVE THE PLANET! I'M TRYING TO SAVE THE PLANET!'" To which the guy next to me started to laugh.

Dobbs: "Tens of millions want to drill."

Guest watching the screen behind me creeps me out.

For an "independent perspective" - a huge oilman.

Dobbs: "You're a man who received such a warm applause because you're a man who can get things done"

They jerk each other off.

Dobbs: "You are a complete non-partisan."

Boone: "If I'm going to be the Lone Ranger…"

"PRESIDENT PICKENS!" is shouted behind me trailed with a giggle.

Boone: "If I were 60 I could beat these two guys running here!" (Wild applause)

Drugs/moralist guest sniffing before the interview.

Guest: "If the government forces parents to send their kids to school, the government has an obligation to clean the drugs out of those schools!!!" ("YEEEESSSSSS!" yelled out)

Dobbs: "It's about supply and demand and to think that you can not attack on both fronts is insane."

Guy sitting next to me: "Ask over here!"
M.C.: "Oh, you guys like Palin?"
Guy sitting next to me: (Clapping real loud) "YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!"

This is the verbatim e-mail I sent to Dobbs last night via the CNN internet site:

Interesting how someone who berates everybody for "labeling," forces anyone whom wants to contact him into labeling his e-mail either "positive" or "negative."

This comment is firmly in the negative. I was in the audience for today's (9/9) "Independent Convention." I made the terrible mistake of sticking around for your Q&A session after the show went off the air. After witnessing the awful bullying you did I can honestly say I was shocked. I was particularly offended when, the subject of choice and Sarah Palin came up. One member of your audience voicing a contrary opinion was mercilessly destroyed. You even called the guy "cosmopolitan" as an attempt at insult, to which the man replied, "What are you talking about…I'm from Maryland." That didn't stop you from just tearing into him with your prescripted diatribe.

After the Maryland gentleman was cowered a woman in the audience asked you a simple question "Let's forget about Palin what does the Republican 2008 Party Platform say about abortion?" To which you went into some ridiculous soliloquy about how these "wedge issues" are all just smoke and mirrors and "it don't mean anything."

I needed to speak up at that point because it was clear that although you sang a song and did a dance you didn't answer this woman's very simple question. I said, "But she is talking about the platform. What does the platform say?"

I remember you authoritatively bellowing "It doesn't exist!"

Not believing my ears I asked, "In the PLATFORM?"

"Yes!"

I thought that was just beyond the realm of believability. But I didn't KNOW, and I said as much. Either directly after my question or sometime later you launched into a "doesn't anybody read?" routine that I found incredibly duplicitous. You spend an hour attacking anybody who has a degree and then wax poetic about the lack of reading in society.

I eventually walked out when the woman sitting one seat from me started to imply that "media types" were "communists."

But, Mr. Dobbs, I do read. So, when I arrived home tonight I decided to look up the Republican Platform on the Internet. From the section entitled "Maintaining the Sanctity and Dignity of Human Life," here is a direct quote:

"Faithful to the first guarantee of the Declaration of Independence, we assert the inherent dignity and sanctity of all human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution, and we endorse legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protections apply to unborn children. We oppose using public revenues to promote or perform abortion and will not fund organizations which advocate it. We support the appointment of judges who respect traditional family values and the sanctity and dignity of innocent human life." (page 57)

Doesn't exist?

Don't worry, you have the mike. You have the camera. People believed you. The damage has been done.

Now if this creep were truly “independent” – a claim he made so many times in the short time I was there that I thought a Port-O-San man was going to come and suction out all the excess bullshit – he would have said something like this:

“Yes, if abortion rights are your primary concern then you should not vote for McCain/Palin because that party has consistently championed the outlawing of abortion. Both in their platform and their speeches the Republican Party is pretty clear on how they feel about this issue and there is no doubt that if they are elected they will try as hard as they can to make it a reality. Also both of the Republican candidates have stated publicly that they are firmly Pro-Life…except when it comes to people of color and animals. No matter how they try to soft pedal their horseshit, make no mistake, they mean to make abortion illegal. I’m not being partisan. I am just stating the facts so that you - the “independent minded” voter - can see the clear distinction of your choice.”

No, he didn’t say anything remotely like that. After I didn’t let him off the hook with his dismissive and evasive “it doesn’t really matter” swill, he then flat out lied, intimidating some who did not have a quote at the ready or humiliating others who dared to say that 2+2=4. Being told by several friends how “objective” Dobbs is, I didn’t expect this Republican pandering/apologist type talk. I mean, where was I, The Bill O’Reilly No-Spin Zone?

Another virtuous independent idea Mr. Dobbs put forward in retort to someone making an honest observation was, and I quote, “You really need to stay out of the blogosphere” and trust more conventional sources of information. That line drew wild applause from the audience. His position struck me as ridiculous. Yes, certain blogs are poorly constructed hatchet jobs for whatever party/point of view the blogger holds. That I will agree with. But many are not. Many are thoroughly researched, footnoted and verified and are a vital source of information. Most importantly, these blogs are truly independent meaning they are written and maintained by people on their own time and at their own expense, expressing their thoughts divorced from profit and agenda.

Basically by telling his legions of “free-thinkers” to stay off the net, what this “non-partisan” hack is really saying is that only centralized corporate media can deliver you the news. Only some elitist glorified blowhard tap-dancer can be trusted to tell you the truth. According to Dobbs, the only place to receive legitimate information is from a shifty employee of a subsidiary of some giant conglomerate which is bent on increasing sales. The electorate should have faith in jerks like this even though their ears have heard nothing but lies. This type of reasoning can be described with the same words I used to recap a 2004 argument I had with someone. He was trying to tell me that John Kerry is a coward and George W Bush is a hero.

Pure insanity.

Lou Dobbs is not independent at all. He is an egotistical clown who gets off by putting others down. A true independent who indoctrinates himself with this cynical shit head should ask, “Is this empty suit just another wolf in sheep’s clothing?”

But, the real question for all of us is will the tactics of completely rewriting history, misrepresenting positions and transparent appeals to the base nature of Man work in 2008?

I'm scared.

Larry B

Gimme Shelter

2008-09-08T21:17:00.001-04:00

Considered by many to be one of the best rock & roll documentaries of all time, Gimme Shelter released in 1970 is primarily made from the footage taken at a free concert the Rolling Stones - plus others - gave at the Altamont Speedway in December of 1969. Their intention was that the show was going to recreate the spirit of the recent Woodstock festival - meaning peace, love and dope. They only achieved the last one of those three.

While the first half of the movie consists of straight-forward scenes of the band playing songs - first at Madison Square Garden in New York and then later at Muscle Shoals in Alabama - that fans of the group would probably find interesting, it's the second half that really takes you by the throat. In those last 45 minutes, the viewer is shown a total breakdown of a society. An exact moment in time when all of the hopes and ideals of the hippie movement crashed in a nightmare of disillusionment and violence.

I know that is a sweeping statement and way to general to contain the whole truth. I, for one, appreciate the hippie movement and the ideals they were expounding. There are others like me as well so the movement is not dead although the Republican Party has been trying to make us forget it for the last 25 years. They want us to forget the ideas that is - civil disobedience, equal rights, and anti-militarism - but always remember the fear. Watching this film gives the audience an insight into the mindset of Nixon's "silent majority" that has carried over till this day. I guess what makes it fascinating is that, at that time, the bogeyman to middle class Americans were white kids as compared to the normal strawman which the establishment would waste no time getting back to pointing us at - black youths.

Let's face it, that concert, and the images produced by it, play as one long political commercial for Ronald Reagan. You have scenes of draw dropping incoherence, out-of-control irresponsibility, painful naivete, massive drug use and, of course, primal rage leading to murder. At that time, all Nixon, or any politician, would have had to have done is show this hedonistic decadent bunch to a "normal" middle class parent and then dismiss anything the reformers would have to say as ridiculous because "seeing is believing." And if that same politician wanted to kick it up a notch he could scare the Hell out of the general populace by linking such debauchery with the, also recent, Manson murders. It was a solid one-two punch that every politician with progressive ideas has had to fight against ever since.

Of course, the irony of it all is that the ones committing pretty much all of the violent acts that day were not on the psychedelics and marijuana which were the trademark recreationals of these "scary" hippies. Those acts were committed by the many Hell's Angels who were there and THEY were all hopped up on beer and liquor - the silent majority's drug of choice.

After watching the film, there is a strong argument to be made that 1960s "radicalism" was, in fact, insane. The image of Mick Jagger on stage leaning towards one of the Hell's Angels in full M.C. black leather worn under a cut denim jacket and topped off with some sort of Celtic/Teutonic animal-skin head gear is, simply, priceless. By the time we see that scene, the concert is completely out of control and Mick is getting some sort of advice from this medieval looking character. The shot only lasts a few seconds and if you look away you might miss it, but in that single visual the whole movie's theme can be summed up.

There is another prolonged shot of a bearded man who, for some reason, appears to be on the stage only a few feet from the band. They are playing "Under My Thumb" and with every line that is sung, this man wretches in pain. He clenches his fists and tightens his muscles. He moves his head from side to side looking intensely into nothing and, yet, is seeing - what? I have no idea. His facial expressions can be conservatively described as total anguish. There is no doubt he is on some kind of hallucingetic - and that he is tripping hard. After a little while the Hell's Angel, who is standing next to him, violently pushes him off the stage. And that is where the absurdity reaches its zenith. The Hell's Angels were hired to be the security!

"How much were they paid?" you might ask.

"All the beer they could drink."

And that is not a joke. The organizers of this "Love-In" (Who, by the way, come off as real assholes.) thought it was prudent to have a large gang of tough, violent bikers hanging around the stage and drinking beer all day - TO KEEP ORDER! And, believe me, they are HANGING AROUND. They are in practically every shot with beer cans, liquor bottles and pool cues in their hands. And, to be more blunt, judging by the icy stares and downright scary facial expressions on some of them, the whole "flower-power" idea was just not their scene.

There are other things I could mention but I will leave it that. This is the first time I watched it in probably 25 years and I could say if you haven't seen it in that long it is definitely worth another look. Like I said earlier, if you are not a Stones fan (And I can't say that I really am. I like a whole bunch of their songs but I think that their last piece of relevant music was the album Tattoo You which was released in 1981) the first part is sort of run-of-the-mill. But stick it out. You will see a document of a time when certain dreamers were confronted with a hardcore reality - A reality that was carrying cue sticks, chains and knives.

I also want to especially recommend watching this movie to younger viewers for whom these events are ancient history. My formative years were the 1980s when a clown by the name of Reagan put on a cowboy hat and proceeded to poison the well of progression and social evolution for the next 28 years. For my generation, when he was pulling out his vial and sprinkling the pain, the 60's ideals, those images and sounds, were already entrenched in our minds. Yes, many of my contemporaries dug Ron's thing, but there was an alternative vision that he needed to overcome…and he was successful. Why do you think Bill Clinton was so badly hammered - viciously, unmercifully…unfairly - for his two, genuinely elected, terms of office? Was it because he lied? If that is the case how do you explain the silence from that same crowd when the current gang has been caught lying - over and over again - lies that actually had real-world horrific consequences? No. It was because Clinton, at least for the Haliburton bunch, represented THAT America - The dope smoking, ungrateful, establishment questioning, scary long hairs.

So, for young people, most definitely to the ones who are gravitating toward Obama, the ones who are passionately getting involved for the first time, the ones whose political and cultural experience so far has been this ghastly administration, seeing Gimme Shelter would be most beneficial. I could easily recommend movies that show the other side of the coin. Where counter-culture ideals are shown in a positive, moving and an inspiring way (The documentary film Woodstock comes to mind) but I won't. Watch this one, where that culture - the one representing what I feel was the most important era of American social development - and I STILL believe in - is shown to be empty, ineffectual and ruinous. Because the moment you suggest something progressive, the people in power, the ones you will have to argue with, the ones you will have to convince - the older ones - will see YOU like the people documented in this film.

Be prepared.

Larry B

Our Daily Bread

2008-09-06T00:39:00.003-04:00

I stopped watching The Daily Show awhile ago because I didn't find what was going on funny anymore. But, because of the convention, I watched it this week - and their commentary was right on. I stumbled upon this video tonight. I don't have much to write about it but I felt that I should post it because I think it symbolizes why John Stewart is playing a vital role in the democratic process.

I think something good is happening.

Larry B

Ticket to Ride

2008-09-03T19:28:00.012-04:00

Dated June 4, 2008, the following text appeared on Realclearpolitics.com and was written by Jack Kelly. I don’t know anything about the site or the author, but since it is an opinion piece, that doesn’t really matter. One thing is for certain, the early timestamp of his article proves that he has his finger on the pulse of the Republican Party.

At 44, Sarah Louise Heath Palin is both the youngest and the first female governor in Alaska's relatively brief history as a state. She's also the most popular governor in America, with an approval rating that has bounced around 90 percent.

This is due partly to her personal qualities. When she was leading her underdog Wasilla high school basketball team to the state championship in 1982, her teammates called her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her fierce competitiveness. Two years later, when she won the "Miss Wasilla" beauty pageant, she was also voted "Miss Congeniality" by the other contestants.

Sarah Barracuda. Miss Congeniality. Fire and nice. A happily married mother of five who is still drop dead gorgeous. And smart to boot. But it's mostly because she's been a crackerjack governor, a strong fiscal conservative and a ferocious fighter of corruption, especially in her own party.

Ms. Palin touches other conservative bases, some of which Sen. McCain has been accused of rounding. Track, her eldest son, enlisted in the Army last Sept. 11. She's a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association who hunts, fishes and runs marathons. A regular churchgoer, she's staunchly pro-life.

Kimberley Strassel of the Wall Street Journal said Sen. McCain should run against a corrupt, do-nothing Congress, a la Harry Truman. If he should choose to do so, Gov. Palin would make an excellent partner "The landscape is littered with the bodies of those who have crossed Sarah," pollster Dave Dittman told the Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes.

Sen. Barack Obama's support has plunged recently among white women. Many Hillary Clinton supporters accuse him -- I think unfairly -- of being sexist. Having Sarah Palin on the ticket could help Sen. McCain appeal to these disgruntled Democrats.

This evening, as I waited on the subway platform, I pondered these things. I didn’t dig to deep because, in all honesty, I was more focused on just getting home. It had been a long day and there was a bowl of pasta waiting for me. The shallowness of my thoughts were apparent – even to me – when the best explanation I could come up with as the reason for what is passing for sound political judgment at the RNC was a pop culture reference. I think Republican bigwigs, and obviously right wing bloggers and politicos, look at the 2008 campaign as their version of "There is Something about Mary." I mean this woman, like Cameron Diaz was to normal male viewers of the Farrelly Brother's movie, sounds like a John Birch/PNAC/Right Winger’s wet dream:

She’s "drop dead gorgeous!" (Stroke…)
She slashes taxes for the rich! (Stroke…)
She’s a "lifetime member of the NRA!" (Yeah…)
She’s "staunchly pro-life!" (Um-Hmm…)
She kills animals with guns! (Uh-Huh…)
She’s a "regular churchgoer!" (Oh my sweet Jesus, YES!)
She’s in charge of oil! (That’s it baby, that’s the spot!)
And, (Here it comes…) she’s continuously knocked up! (BAM!)

The train pulled into the station.

The doors opened and I was surprised to find some vacant seats. Grabbing one, I pulled out my book and started to read. Within a few seconds I understood completely why the car was semi-vacant. An intense odor filled the air one, as a city dweller, I immediately recognized. Sniffing, I looked up and – yes – there he was. A homeless man was sitting across from me and it was obvious that he had not bathed or changed his cloths in months. Or, at least, that is my assumption from the stink because he actually looked to be reasonably well dressed.

For you non-city dwellers out there, or for the city people who have never experienced what I am talking about, every so often, in the subway car you board, there is a homeless man sleeping in a corner clad only in rags. He usually has whatever possessions he "owns" in plastic bags placed all around him or crammed into a little shopping wagon that he holds onto tight. Often he is shoeless. And he is certainly always alone because the aforementioned smell is overpowering and other commuters in the car go the other way. It always is a depressing and heartbreaking scene but, you become desensitized to misery living in an anonymous megalopolis.

I also notice that these kinds of encounters happen far more frequently when a Republican occupies the White House.

I should have been tipped off when the doors open and found a large swath of space when normally during rush hour time it would be filled with nameless faceless people. But, the situation I described above was not in effect. There was no society cast-off laying on seats or spread out in a corner. And the smell didn’t hit me till I sat down. This homeless man, who I was now sitting some six or ten feet away from, had clothes that were not that worn, shoes that had life left in them, no plastic bags and he was reading a newspaper. The situation was unusual but, I did what I always did when faced with this situation in the past, I continued to read.

My theory is simple. I can take the smell for my relatively short journey and, since everyone else runs for the hills, I have plenty of room. For the price of minor discomfort – especially when you compare it with THIS man’s station in life – I don’t have to have crotches in my face or someone up my ass for 30 minutes. It is a trade-off.

And, of course, a few others stay in the area too. I do not know if it is for the same reason that I do but, either way, we are going against a long held city tradition. And THAT is another reason why I stay. The sociologist in me watches the doors whenever the train pulls into the next stop. I watch the faces through the glass. There is an anticipation and excitement when they see the empty seats. There is a slight tenseness to some as they start to jockey for position to charge in, muscling anyone near them for the precious real estate. And then, as the tone sounds and the door opens, within seconds the faces of joy and lust becomes one of abject horror as they streamline to get out - either by walking between cars or just getting off all together. Sometimes their realization and reaction take a little longer and they awkwardly hover in the area, sniffing and looking around. Soon they, too, flee.

So McCain/Palin is in my head, comical trampling, stumbling and bumbling are in my eyes and a reek stank is in my nose. At the next stop, the doors open and a loud boisterous African-American woman walks through and within one second exclaims in a booming, exaggerated voice: "OH HELLLLLL NOOOOOOOOO!" and immediately walks through to the next car.

I feel ya, Sista. I feel ya.

Larry B

What if?

2008-08-29T21:50:00.004-04:00

When I was a kid I use to read a book called Know Your Presidents and their Wives. It was a children's history book that is exactly as the title describes it. On the left hand page would be the President's picture or photograph, his vital statistics (such as birth and death dates, inauguration date, party, religion, profession, etc.) and a short two column basic history of their Presidency. On the right hand page would be the same for the First Lady. The last President they had listed was (The still in office) Richard Nixon.

I LOVED this book. I would read it constantly. But it wasn't mine. It belonged to the Brooklyn Public Library on Rockaway Parkway in Brooklyn. My mom would take it out for me every two weeks - or whatever the maximum amount of time was back then. I so thoroughly absorbed the information contained in that book that I can STILL recite the names of all the Presidents of the United States in order. I could probably tell you where they were born too.

I do not really know how many times my mom ACTUALLY borrowed it from the library because as you get older, memory - especially chronology - becomes harder to get right. As they get further away, dates and years blur together and are considered less important. I personally tend to think now more in larger "periods" in my life where time is couched around benchmark events that are either personal or national. For example, when attempting to remember a certain event in my life I could start my investigation by saying something like this to myself:

"Around the time when I was out of college and out of work - the late Bush Sr. years probably '91 or '92."

Believe me, as you age, time/event association becomes your best friend.

I always had the notion that this book borrowing cycle was a whole year but, in reality, I don't think she took it out as many times as I think. The reasons for this revisionist history are:

A) To a child time is endless. So an event that was actually a 2 day span (like a road trip or a hotel stay) 20 or 30 years ago is seen in your current remembrance as much longer - and you sincerely remember it that way. This is because AT THE TIME you were participating in that event, you felt like it was a lot longer. THAT feeling is what you are actually remembering - and is probably causing you to be remember it in the first place.

B) My mother was scrupulously honest. There is no way she would have kept a book for that long. Even if she was doing everything "legal" by renewing it…and she was…she still would of thought of it as stealing.

All I can say for sure is that it was multiple times and I probably read it and reread it every other day.

So on Christmas day, 1973, this six-year-old boy was given an innocuous looking gift. It wasn't the most valuable in dollars and cents I have ever received although I would consider it priceless. It wasn't the most useful either, if you use the way things are considered "useful" in this day and age as your guide but it did serve my imagination throughout my childhood. It wasn't even the most exciting nestled between the Rock'em Sock'em Robots and the slot-car race track.

But it is the most cherished.

As you guessed, it was my favorite book, purchased for me because my mom was probably so guilt-ridden for having had held the public copy for so long. On the inside cover she inscribed:

For our dear Lawrence
Merry Christmas
With love from Mommy & Daddy
December 25, 1973

And, today, after all those expensive electronic devices, utilitarian wonder gadgets and exciting pieces of plastic have long been broken down, lost and forgotten, that book still sits on my bookshelf. The spine is worn and cracked and the pages are yellowed - but it's there: An object of material substance with weight and mass that most definitely carries a living memory. It has stayed with me through five moves and if I have to again, it will be on the truck packed in a cardboard box marked "heirlooms."

But that story was really one long sentimental digression to my main point. Over the years, starting with that book, I had a true love of history. I would read many more books, watch many films and shows and visit many sites that pertained to my beloved subject. Needless to say, in college I took many courses ranging from Medieval Europe to Modern America. I couldn't get enough of the stuff.

One class in particular was extremely interesting. Titled "The Turbulent 60s" it focused on…well the 1960s of course. It was taught by a very charismatic professor who truly looked inspired when lecturing. He would tell us stories of his own involvement as a mediator in the negotiations with radical students when they took over the campus. He would come alive when discussing the impact of the Vietnam War, Civil Rights Demonstrations and the rise of counter-culturalism. It was just a cool class and he was just a cool teacher. I think his name was Dr. MacDonald.

One day, he proposed a provocative exercise. He wanted us to consider an alternative timeline based on one question:

What if Bobby Kennedy wasn't killed?"

Immediately I began to think of all the turmoil of 1969 and the 1970s. The scandals, the unraveling of the social fabric, the despair, the recession…the failures. I asked myself, could all of those terrible things of that decade be main-lined straight back to that assassination and the election of the politically and socially divisive Richard Nixon? In 1968, what if the inclusive nature, the progressive ideas and the problem solving intellect of Bobby Kennedy was put into the White House? I imagined that our history would have been very different if he wasn't murdered. After imagining and pondering for awhile, sitting in that lecture hall, I came to the conclusion that this country would have by no means been a paradise but much of the turmoil, the upheaval…the despair…that was to come could and would have been prevented or dealt with in a much more satisfactory way.

I don't have to imagine it anymore.

Larry B

The Solution

2008-08-27T21:56:00.009-04:00

I think I know what the problem is with our political situation.

But since I just finished a book called "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert Pirsig I feel to expound on it would be a complete waste of time. In the past, I stood up on my soapbox and passionately delivered what I thought were simple self-evident truths involving the terrible direction the administration and the Republican Party has taken this country. These truths ARE self-evident still so if you are still considering voting for John McCain in the upcoming election you will not get any argument from me. Go with God. But if you do I have just one request, please do not bring up the subject of politics with me because, if you do, I will tell you how I feel on the subject and by doing that, I am sure, you will feel angry, insulted and offended and, quite frankly, maybe that is their true goal - to feel that rage, to feel slighted, to create "the other." But I will tell you these things because I believe them - NOT because I want YOU to. I truly understand the fact that no matter how many people I convince of the righteousness of my ideas or how much external validation I receive for my theories it does not make the ideas necessarily right.

Do you?

Besides, just pointing out what’s wrong is not terribly constructive. It is not terribly creative either because although I can certainly cite specific incidences of the sadism, the moral bankruptcy and the general backwardness of THE PHILOSOPHY that the current administration and the Republican party embrace as a whole, the truth of the matter is that all I would really have to do is say "open your eyes and look around" and it would be as convincing as any kind of long-winded, beautifully constructed, point by point essay I could compose. The important thing is the "eyes open" part. So, I will just accept that the current depressing horror show of ignorant repression that has been unspooling before my pupils for the last eight years is just that: A depressing horror show of ignorant repression. Sort of like a postulate in the Euclidean geometry proofs I used to do in high school over twenty years ago.

As far as political reality, there is good and bad news. The good news is there is, at least in theory, a system of representative government in place. It is barely holding on by a thread but is still there. I believe it can be saved. I believe the tools the middle and lower classes of this country need to become relevant again – as far as domestic and foreign policies are concerned – are available. They might be a little worn but they can still work if used correctly. Now I know more radical opinions would suggest that this "system" could never let us truly be free. Maybe they’re right, but I have to live within these walls so I might as well put up some John Lennon posters.

Which brings me to the bad news which is postulate two: These same tools are owned lock, stock and barrel by people, corporations and people who own corporations, who have no interest in seeing anyone beyond their own immediate family be rewarded with the material splendor that industrialization has provided. The only interest they have in you is to know if you could park their car, take their bags or clean their toilet. They never see you in any other capacity. You are not a life with inherent worth. To them you are a nuisance to be put up with, to be treated with all the dignity of a panhandler asking for some change.

Of course, that is the interesting part. A panhandler does deserve to be treated with dignity. No matter how down on his luck, no matter how many bad decisions he has made, he is still a person. So, the next time you walk by a homeless person and look down upon him in disgust, remember how you feel at that moment. And be honest with yourself...do not inhibit. If you feel contempt let it flow. If you feel anger, rage. If you feel hatred, despise.

Now you know how the people who run this country feel about you.

OK, we know we have tough odds but that’s all right. The tougher the rind the sweeter the juice.

The first step applying, but not limited to, politics is the clearing of your mind. Take a step back and breathe. Once you have done that pick up the remote and turn off the set because clarity is not offered through that medium. The moderators, pundits, spin-doctors and the politicians themselves have no interest in telling you any kind of hard physical reality while appearing on television. The spin doctors spin, the pundits bloviate, the politicians lie and the moderators – well this is where it gets tragic because this is the one guy in the room who is suppose to represent YOU – berate or kiss anus depending on who their benefactor is. The contents of their targeted soliloquy’s, either way, is usually inanely cliché or irrelevantly personal. There is no consideration of achieving moral, physical…basic…truth. Their only goal is ratings (and sometimes more sinister) which they convert into money which they convert into apartments at The Watergate which comes with the Lincoln, the power lunches the…well you get the point. You have to just shut them out.

Get all of your political news off the net. Some sites are more dubious than others but that’s OK because the dubious ones are easy to spot and simple to toss. Besides, all of the bastions of journalism – whatever that means in a post 9-11 America – have their own sites so, if you are really just stone cold hooked on what passes for "professionalism" these days - go for it. The most important part of this act is to not be passive. When you watch the CNN’s, the MSNBC’s or…please don’t say it…the Foxes of this country you are inoculated against giving a damn. These shows have very little informative value. Their purpose is to entertain you. If you go on the net, the choice is yours. You can find information without the pander…the infantile attitude…the insult. You will no longer have to sit there while some joker who, when you really think about it, is doing the ham-bones to keep his job when he is telling you how some speech is "playing in Ohio" or determining "strengths " and "weaknesses" of a candidate. Cut that layer of mucous out of your political thought. Don’t have some glorified night club singer, who treats serious decisions that will affect millions of people like a game show or a tennis match, fill your head up with his or her scripted bullshit. Their words are not worth anything till YOU give them value. And their words certainly aren’t reality.

And of course, there is YouTube. Like I said in my last post, I was interested in the speeches at the convention this week. But I don’t want all the absurd bells and whistles. C-span is a possible alternative but I’m in no rush. I’ll watch them later on the net.

Now that you cleared your head, removed all the negativity, fear and downright cynicism about the nature of man, which we have come to accept, sit back and ponder. If having to convince a whole bunch of riled-up hoople-heads with a whole lot of pent-up frustration and personal axes to grind due to deep feelings of inadequacy were NOT an issue, what would you like to see come out of this election?

Here are my thoughts.

ADOPT UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE

Period.

We are, for the most part anyway, a capitalist society. We, as a philosophy, firmly embrace the idea of the "free market." We, almost fanatically, believe in the law of supply and demand that only if the government encouraged the most competition, then everyone would get what they need…at the lowest price…etc., etc.

But even the most hardcore laissez-faire economists would agree that there are certain "businesses" that MUST be provided by the commonwealth. Only the most outlandish Randian social superiorist would suggest services such as the Police, Fire and Sanitation Depts. should be left to the magical make-believe invisible hand of Adam Smith.

We should make the leap and create a program/legislation that acknowledges that the health and maintenance of the individual human being is just as vital to the survival of our "way of life" as the aforementioned services.

In the 1950s and 1960s, as European colonial rule of sub-Saharan Africa drew to a close, the newly formed, independent nations, which emerged, made a fatal mistake. Instead of redrawing the map to take into consideration the traditional territory and historical rivalries of the various tribes in the area, they kept the completely arbitrary political boundaries that the white Europeans had imposed upon them. The endless coups and massacres that have plagued that continent for the last 40 plus years can be contributed to this decision as men and women who have hated each other for millennia butcher one and other to hold together abstract political notions that should never have existed in the first place.

In that vein, why do insurance and pharmaceutical companies control the direction of any healthcare reform plan? Why do these "for profit" organizations have final approval of any legislation trying to fix our system? Why are they at the table at all?

These bean counter operations, totally married to the "bottom line," should have no right to decide the when, where and how a United States citizen receives treatment for a MEDICAL problem. Once they are removed, the path to finally joining the 21st century will be clear.

ADOPT UNIVERSAL HIGHER EDUCATION

The state and city university system, currently in place, should be financially funded by the Federal and State governments and completely FREE to any attending student for AT LEAST the completion of his or her M.S. or M.A. in whatever accredited subject they chose to pursue. This does not mean anyone gets a "free ride." To continue in the education system past the 12th grade, the student must have had at least a C average AND THEN maintain at least a C average during his undergraduate existence.

The theory behind putting this program in place is simple: An educated citizen benefits the ENTIRE society and we should encourage anyone who is interested and willing to keep up with their studies. Yes, a "C" average is the definition of mediocre, but it does show that an attempt is being made to better oneself and the work, even if marginally, is getting done.

Of course private and parochial schools will continue to exist and anyone who has the resources are more then welcome to attend.

Keep in mind, the plan being suggested does not actually address the QUALITY of the education being offered today for that should be left to academics in the fields of Science, Mathematics, Social Sciences, Literature, etc.

This plan tries to correct the utterly ridiculous current situation of a student graduating college, starting his young adult life, saddled with over $100,000 in debt. And, much more importantly, it is totally unacceptable that a large swath of our population can not grow, expand…learn…for the sole reason that their family "does not have the money."

And, again, free education for the willing is not just for the students themselves, for it is impossible for a society to grow when more and more of it's citizens stay stagnant.

BRING THE BOYS & GIRLS BACK HOME

Now!

REJOIN THE GLOBAL COMMUNITY

Just because the United States will withdraw the OVERWHELMING bulk of our military forces from Iraq, that does not mean we should return to the isolationist 1920s and 1930s.

The United States should initiate a conference, preferably while there is still the veneer of "control," between the nations directly affected by the civil war in Iraq that will surly escalate as soon as the Army leaves. Iran, Turkey and Syria immediately come to mind but should also include Britain, France, Russia and Germany. Between these countries (and others) we should try real hard to get to some middleground, some understanding, on what to do to keep the region stabilized. As Joe Biden said, it is in these nations best interest not to have chaos and the basis for the peace should start with the partition of Iraq into at least three parts. This gambit is worth a try

First of all, Intelligence, with a capital I, will return to the executive branch of the United States government, the branch that is traditionally responsible for foreign policy. We should not rely on the United States armed forces to solve problems that should be dealt with diplomacy and vice versa.

Secondly, we have to start building a bridge to the other Islamic countries in the area. Let us abandon the DISASTEROUS policies of "bombs away" and "you're wit' us or agent' us" that have dominated the past five plus years.

Simply put, Unilateralism has failed miserably. Let's try it the other way before the damage that has been done is irreversible.

CLOSE GUANTANAMO

In conjunction with rejoining the world community, we must reaffirm our commitment to the Geneva Convention and close the secret prison system we are operating because, simply put, we are not a nation who believes in concentration camps.

RATIFY A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT GUARANTEEING A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE

Michael Dukakis, in the 1988 Presidential Debate with, then, Vice-President Bush (Sr.) made the most reasonable statement about abortion rights I have ever heard in the political arena:

"…isn't the real question that we have to answer is 'Not how many exceptions we make,' because the Vice-President himself is prepared to make exceptions but 'WHO makes the decision?' WHO makes this very difficult, very wrenching decision? And I think it has to be THE WOMAN, in the exercise of her own conscience and religious beliefs that makes that decision. Who are we to say, well, under certain circumstances, it's all right, but under other circumstances it isn't? That's a decision that only a woman can make, after consulting her conscience and consulting her religious principles. And I would hope that we would give to women in this country the right to make that decision, and to make it in the exercise of their conscience and religious beliefs."

Amen.

SUPPORT SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH

I believe we should favor science and reason over superstition and voodoo.

The Federal Government should fully fund every kind of scientific research available. We should have scientists…SCIENTISTS…working around the clock in the areas of health, environment and energy…to name a few. Politicians are not scientists so they really do not know all the areas needed to be explored.

And that's the point. The government should give the money to the people who do know and let them work. It is appalling that men running for the Presidency of the United States…FOR PRESIDENT…would proudly raise their hands when asked if they DO NOT believe in Evolution.

I believe in the Theory of Evolution, if not in its totality, at least in the scientific PROCESS which it was derived…observation, experimentation, hypothesis. How could that PROCESS…the key to all human mental and social development…be fostered if our leadership does not believe in it?

Knowledge is our most precious commodity. We must do everything we can to expand WHAT we know because, if we don't, sometime in the near future, WE will be asking other countries to save us.

FCC Media Consolidation Regulations

REGULATION…that dirty word. BRING IT BACK. Do not let one individual/corporation/entity control all carriers of information that a citizen needs to be properly civic. Today that corporation is selling soap, tomorrow they are telling you to kill Arabs and the day after that it will be your thoughts. No matter how diligent the individual is, there is no way around the influence of the synergy that is going on. The government was never "on my back," as President Reagan use to say. The government was on the backs of men whose sole purpose was to accumulate more. Now, after 28 years of a deregulation mantra we are reaping the rewards - One Message.

Delivered to you every five minutes.

Pass Banking Usury Laws

BRING THEM BACK.

The government should pass legislation that will cap the amount of interest a bank, retail store or a credit card can charge to their customers. What we have seen over the last 8 years is millions of people in this country go into massive debt. These millions of people are now trapped in an endless cycle of payments because their interest rates have went through the roof while their REAL earnings have probably stayed the same over that same period of time. Charging 29% interest should be against the law.

Also banks need to be forced, BY LAW because they are not going to do it themselves, to stop charging all these ridiculous hidden fees. An individual goes to an ATM and takes out $20. The bank the machine belongs to charges a $2 user fee. Then the bank his account is in charges a $2 fee for what, I have no idea. This man has just paid a 20% charge to take out his own money.

"But then," you might say, "he should haven't taken out so little when he would of paid the same $2 (Plus $2) if he took out $100, $200 or even $500."

What if that was all he had left after paying his electric bill, rent bill, gas bill, phone bill and, of course, the 29% on his two credit cards that he used to buy his groceries?

These rates directly affect the quality of life of the overwhelming majority of our citizenry. IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW.

End the "War on Drugs"

Drug addiction is a medical/psychological problem and should be treated as such. Substance abuse treatment should be covered completely by a universal health care system. To treat a human being who is hooked on narcotics…FOR WHATEVER REASON…like a criminal is, in fact, a crime. Human beings have frailties, pains, frustrations and sorrows. To deny that is to deny your own humanity. To punish it is pure arrogance. To wash your hands of it is pure stupidity.

These things can be easily done because I am not suggesting anything that is radical. If these ideas sound radical to you then I suggest you read any works by Fourier, Saint-Simon, Owen, Bakunin or Marx and see just how tame my ideas actually are. "If we could put a man on the moon, then we should be able to…" as the saying goes. As Obama said in 2004, "All we need is a slight change of priorities," and a rejection of "a willful ignorance," to make a real change occur. The bottom line is that there is nothing "natural" about the situation our society is in. All of our problems, and I believe there are many of them, are all Man-Made and being such can be corrected, or at least addressed, by Man. Any delusion you have to the contrary is, in fact, a mental construct that has been drilled into your head from the time you could hear noise. These 10 points are what I would like to see put into place before I die. I think their implementation would make this country…and the world…a better place.

I wonder how this will sell in Ohio.

Larry B

The Problem

2008-08-25T20:34:00.007-04:00

I have been away a long time. No, not in any geographic sense for my physical existence is still in New York. I have spent a year and a half murdering myself and, again, not physically for I am still breathing (for who knows how long) and even in my darkest bouts of self-loathing I am pretty sure that I would be able to complete that task if I wanted to. I mean a whole year and a half…please.

The murder I committed was against that old self I was. The one who watched television. The one who read silly newspaper articles. The one who, although reacted negatively to them, swallowed all the horse feces that, for lack of a better term, "the machine" rammed down my throat on a daily basis. The one who paid attention to the overwhelming distractions that fill our lives, label us, keep us divided, destroy in a very real way the quality of our lives. The one who gave meaning to the meaningless while ignoring true value. The one who was so distraught about the state of the world, because it was not the way he thought it should be, used any number of external stimuli to help him forget. The one who accepted degradation as the norm while allowing dignity to be lost. The one who searched for truth in a cesspool of lies.

After finally realizing the folly of words like "important," "ground breaking" and "thoughtful" as they exist today. After completely understanding terms like "relevant," "subjective" and "transitory" for the truth that they contain. After coming to a full mental understanding of concepts such as "pain," "suffering," "loss"…even "death." Only then could the body of that self be destroyed, slain by books, openness, kindness…acceptance. The murder complete, the rotting corpse buried, end of story.

Now the rebirth can begin.

With that being said, I haven't been following all the details of this campaign because, as I stated time and time again both in my previous life and the current one, that voting for a bowl of turnips with bacon bits and a parsley garnish would be preferable to anything the Republicans have to offer, I have to admit that I came home today a little bit interested in the Democratic Convention. Biden was a great choice for VP. I think Obama's has a real movement going on here. He offers us the possibility, for the first time in a very long time, we could actually have leadership in the White House. So, I figured, watching some of the speeches wouldn't hurt even though it does violate one of my prime mandates - "KEEP THAT DAMN DEHUMANIZING SET OFF STUPID!" Against my better judgement, because I truly was curious, I turned the set on and searched for CNN.

Now, I never watch ANY of those 24-hour "news" channels - even when I filled my days with the endless prattle coming out of that idiot box. I actually didn't even know what number CNN was but after a few clicks of the remote I was there. The only reason why I surrendered to these purveyors of knowledge was because it was before eight o'clock and I figured the major networks weren't going to have coverage till later. A small sacrifice to make in an attempt to be an "informed" citizen. I sit down on my couch waiting in subdued anticipation.

The first thing I see are some gaudy graphics saying something like "CONVENTION SMACKDOWN '08" with a bevy of white men in suits sitting behind an elongated desk. The first thing I hear is some heavy-handed music that sounded like it was composed at a focus group called "Lowest common denominator." Between the camera lens and the men are a string of computer monitors which, presuming from the faces of these "experts," they are watching for updates from the convention floor. The shot starts to pan the ensemble because, as another focus group told them, there has to be dramatic camera movement for a news broadcast, and ends with a beautiful woman in a suit who I guess is the host (I refuse to use the word moderator.) I assume they hired her for the sake of journalistic integrity.

I get up from the couch and make a box of Kraft Premium Three-Cheese Shell Macaroni Dinner.

After I am done cooking I leave my kitchen which is directly adjacent to my living room. Bowl in hand I flip the light switch and head for the couch. Just as I get into earshot of the set I hear the voice of David Gergen. I remember Gergen from the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour on PBS back in the 1980s. He used to do a political spot with Mark Shields every Friday and I enjoyed watching them. That was the time when The McLaughlin Group was revolutionizing political talk - the genesis of the confrontational, uninformative, clownish horror show we call political debate that exists today. At the time, his show was considered "amusing," "novel" or, if you really didn't give a flying fuck about representative democracy, "exciting." During that time Gergen and Shields actually kept their cool and didn't pander and kept the discussion dignified. Maybe it was only because they were on PBS and not at the mercy of a profit driven parent company but I always respected them as men with integrity.

The first thing I hear Gergen say, evidently in a response to a question asked of him by the pin-up is, "I think Bill Clinton when he speaks is going to have to talk about the economy. His eight year economic record versus the last eight year record will really play well." (Paraphrase)

On that last word, I made it to the couch. I picked up the remote, turned the set off and went to my bedroom to eat my Kraft Premium Three-Cheese Shell Macaroni Dinner.

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP LIVING IN INTELLECTUAL PIG SHIT!

Through the surround sound speakers I felt the bony claw of my old self-reaching from the grave, tugging at my ankle but I did not let it pull me down. I still accept the world for how it thinks, how it acts…how it is.

Just not in my house.

In silence, the Kraft Three-Cheese Shell Macaroni Dinner was delicious.

Larry

The King is Dead

2007-10-25T21:40:00.000-04:00

POIGNANCY

noun
1. a state of deeply felt distress or sorrow
2. a quality that arouses emotions (especially pity or sorrow)

A moving image of a bloated fat fuck at the end of his life.

He was 42.

A man who spent years and years abusing his mind and body. Consuming feel-good pills and feel-good comfort foods by the truckload. Enjoying a materialistic bliss. Having no understanding...or care...for the world around him because someone, somewhere, was filling his pot with gold and peanut butter/banana sandwiches.

A southern man who had abundant passion and talent. A naïve man seemingly trying to do the right thing. A man possessing golden pipes that were horribly wasted and mismanaged. A person so used. So abused. So demoralized. A simple man whose cultural impact was incalculable...till the day he died.

So exploited.

All by assholes that saw him as a cash register spiting out money.

Still, with all of the above, he was trying desperately to put on a good performance.

Sounds like the American public to me.

I'm not ashamed to say that this historical piece of footage brought a tear to my eye.

Larry B.

Absolutely No Doubt

2007-08-16T00:35:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine sent me this. I think it would be particularly valuable to anyone who takes the position that "All of these politicians are the same."

After watching this piece of footage, can there be any doubt that this scumbag, along with that piece of shit Rumsfeld, two of the architects of the current situation, a disaster that we will probably be embroiled in for the next 50 years, are completely evil?

Think about it. You have a guy who pretty much knew what the horrific results of a particular course of action would be for our country…and sent us down that road anyway. Then, that same jackass painted anyone who opposed that course of action, citizens who used the same reasoning he himself used 10 years earlier, as unpatriotic cowards and traitors.

Evil is a word I very rarely use but in this case it fits.

And if you really want to get your blood boiling, or if you are just interested in how badly these guys fucked us up, try to find this film:

I saw it last Sunday at the Film Forum here in NYC and I highly recommend it.

It is only fair that I warn you. If you were aware of the decisions, actions and arrogant ignorance depicted in this film as they actually unfolded, it is a tough watch. But if you still go to sleep with blinders on, it is a must see.

No...

THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME!!!

Larry B

Playing at a Theater Near You...

2007-07-25T01:19:00.000-04:00

The other day I saw a movie trailer on my TV...

Right now, at this very minute, somewhere, there is someone playing something, or staging something, or painting something, or recording something, or sculpting something, or writing something that is at least slightly original.

So, please...
For the love of God...
Don't let the bastard win.

Larry

The Birth of a Godfather

2007-06-17T04:43:00.000-04:00

"Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. That part is perfect for him. It'll make him a big star. And I'm gonna run him out of the business, and let me tell you why.

Johnny Fontane ruined one of Woltz International's most valuable proteges. For five years we had her under training. Singing lessons, acting lessons, dancing lessons. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her. I was gonna make her a big star.

And let me be even more frank...

Just to show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man, and it's not all dollars and cents…SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! She was young. She was innocent. SHE WAS THE GREATEST PIECE OF ASS I EVER HAD…AND I HAD'EM ALL OVER THE WORLD! And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive-oil voice, and guinea charm. And she runs off.

SHE THREW IT ALL AWAY JUST TO MAKE ME LOOK RIDICULOUS! A MAN IN MY POSITION CAN NOT AFFORD TO BE MADE TO LOOK RIDICULOUS! NOW YOU GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

Of course, the above dialogue was from the 1972 Academy Award winning film "The Godfather." The printed words do not do it justice but I can say, in my humble opinion, that this 2 minute scene involving studio chief Jack Woltz (John Marley) annunciating his dislike of a certain singer-actor to mob lawyer Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) was one of the best casting jobs in American Cinematic history. Marley (pictured above) was a solid character actor who had been around for years. I remember him from a Twilight Zone episode and other such TV type things. I don't remember him doing anything remarkable, usually walk-on parts and such.

But as Woltz, he really knocked it out of the park. The whole image he creates, with his mannerism and tone, is a perfect stereotype of a monarch of the old studio system. He portrays the ability, certain men with power have, of being able to schmooze and charm one moment and then be brutally viscous and mean at the drop of a hat. It truly is a great performance and one of my favorite moments in modern film.

But to describe an epic film such as "The Godfather" by praising a segment that, in reality, is only a part of a sub-sub-plot of the whole, would be like the blind man describing an elephant.

No. I mention this scene in detail because I wanted to show how much I loved this film. There was a period in the late 1980s when I could easily say it was my favorite film of all time. Back then, I saw it in it's entirety at least 15 times not to mention the times I just watched extended clips of it because it happened to be on. I knew whole dialogue passages by heart. We would have discussions about the meanings of camera angles, facial expressions and lighting choices. I really dug this picture.

Hell, in 1988 and 1989 if someone mentioned the name Luca Brazzi…especially in an Italian accent…I would crack up in an uncontrollable giggle.

But that was 17 years ago and I don't think I have seen it since then. I could be wrong on that, but the point is I do not think of it the same way I used to. Don't get me wrong, I would never knock it, but I just didn't praise it as I use to.

Well, the other day Bravo Network was playing what they called "The Godfather Novel for Television." Basically, they combined both Godfather and Godfather II, a total running time of six hours, and edited it to make the whole thing chronological. (In the original Part Two, there were many flashbacks interspersed in the "present day" narrative. These scenes were of the young Don coming to America as a boy and then played as a young man by Robert De Niro who won an Oscar for the role.) I tuned in right in the middle, just as the real Part I was starting. I decided to stay on the channel for awhile. Next thing I knew it was four hours later and I watched the whole thing!

This is truly great film.

It all started coming back to me:

"Leave the gun…take the Cannolis"

"On Tessio's ground…where I'll be safe."

"If you touch her again…I'll kill ya."

"Who's being naïve Kay?"

"You know my father? Men are coming here to kill him. Now help me, please."

"I'm Moe Green!!! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!"

"You could act like a man!!!"

"You gotta get up close and…Bada-Bing…You blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit."

"…then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room."

"I'll take care of you now Pop. I'm with you now. I'm with you..."

The list goes on and on.

If you never seen the movie or, and this is a rare group, you've seen it and hated it, then these quotes mean very little or nothing to you. But if you were like me, completely enamored from the very first time they ever saw it, then these lines bring back very vivid, very immediate imagery and emotion. I am not ashamed to say some of these scenes actually brought tears to my eyes.

But enough of my emotional rambling. Let's look at some cold hard facts.

This movie had an all star cast with some actors who could be considered some of the best of their respective generations. Talented (future) stars who work mostly in character parts. Guys like Al Pacino, Robert Duvall and James Caan. Solid character actors like the above mentioned John Marley, John Cazale and Alex Rocco. Old time studio players like Sterling Hayden, Richard Conte and Abe Vigoda. And The Godfather himself, the Granddaddy of all modern American acting, Marlon Brando. And let us not forget Diane Keaton. I count on that short list, 4 Oscar winners and 3 others nominated. There is a lot of high caliber talent in this film. And this isn't one of those bullshit "Earthquake/Towering Inferno" type all-star casts either. These guys are really acting. That is because at the time this movie was made they were not over the hill celebrities looking to cash a check. Most of them were young(ish) talent that the director, 3 time Academy Award winner Francis Ford Coppola who was still in his prime and not in the abyss he called the 1980s and 1990s, wanted to hire. Amazingly, this was Al Pacino's third movie! The studio, especially Bob Evans, wanted to hire "stars," Coppola fought for the talent. And Marlon Brando, who HAD been "mailing it in" for the previous ten years, had something to prove. All of this commitment to quality shows on screen.

The music is a true Score. There are no pop songs filling up minutes of ridiculous montages. The instrumentals all are original and haunting. It has a traditional sound that echoes "the old country." They compliment the imagery, punctuate the action and set the tone for a majestic sadness. The main character's ultimate rise to power is shown as a triumph but the music never lets the audience forget that it is actually a defeat.

The story arc is grand in scale. The actual time that elapses during the film is only about ten years but the character growth and the transformational events depicted are so profound that the viewer feels a lifetime has been observed.

The opening scene, which involves the wedding of The Don's daughter, is one of the best expositional sequences ever made. After the wedding is over, you know every character. You know how they think, what they feel, what is their position in the order of things. As the movie continues, motivations and attitudes are expounded upon, creating "people" who we feel we know and understand. The script is a textbook for screenwriting story structure and character development.

Now with all that being said, an interesting thing happened halfway through my viewing: I started getting mad.

I started to think of the reality of "The Mob," their business practices and lifestyle, and one notion kept hitting me over the head. That thought was that this movie reflects absolutely nothing in the real world. Where are the hijackings? Where are the innocent merchants intimidated, maimed or even killed to surrender percentages of their hard-earned money? One of the characters is referred to as a "pimp." Where are the strung out prostitutes, beaten to an inch of their lives because they don't want to suck cock any more for the financial benefit of the man?

The central conflict at the beginning of the film is one involving narcotics. A drug dealer, known as "The Turk," comes to New York and wants the The Godfather's help to set up his business. Before they meet, The Don asks for opinions from his two "children" about what to do. Tom Hagen, at that point, says:

"Now we have the unions. We have the gambling and they're the best things to have. But narcotics is the thing of the future."

Sonny (James Caan), his other son, feels the same way. But Marlon Brando, who is wise, decides not to go into the drug business and it is definitely implied that he is noble for not doing so. But what of these other things he controls? The gambling, in my mind, is fine because it is artificially ugly due to its false illegality but do you know what "having the unions" means? It means that goons control who works in the construction, trucking and longshoreman industry…to name a few. It means that if an honest man doesn't pay The Don, he doesn't work. It means if The Don doesn't get his cut, this honest man's wife and kids don't eat. And if this honest man makes a stink about it, he gets is ass kicked.

Ironically, Brando himself won an Oscar playing the victim of these noble practices in "On the Waterfront."

There is a total absence of victims in this movie. The gangsters are portrayed as dynasties, and they all live in opulence, but not once do you see where the source of their revenue comes from.

And maybe that is why I was having a problem with the movie now. In the intervening years since the late 1980s, there have been several, somewhat realistic portrayals of life in organized crime. Most notably "Donnie Brasco," "The Sopranos" and the Martin Scorsese film "Goodfellas." All three of these projects give the viewer a taste of the decidedly unglamorous life of a gangster. There is no romantic ideal of honor or diplomatic intrigue. These people are primarily consumed with their need to EARN. If that means stealing a spit of power drills or hijacking a truck full of pants or "juicing" the local stripper for the "vig" or even cracking open a parking meter for the dimes, then that is what they're going to do. Because if they don't, they will be killed. That is a far cry from "putting a hundred button-men in the street."

I remembered an interview with Henry Hill (The real life character from "Goodfellas.") on one of those thousands of Mafia shows on either A&E or The History Channel when he mentioned going to see "The Godfather" when it first came out. This movie served as a complete justification for the way he lived. He remembered that it elevated his low level professional thieving and violence to a noble code of existence. He remembered thinking of himself as part of something great. He remembered leaving the theatre feeling good about himself.

Of course within ten years he found himself sleeping on the floor in the corner of his apartment with a shotgun wrapped in his arms waiting for his fellow knights to eliminate him. But that didn't matter to that young man in 1972, already a seasoned gang-banger. He received validation.

I started to view "The Godfather" in that way. I started to make an interesting analogy. This movie, of course to a much lesser extent, is somewhat like "A Birth of a Nation." If you are unfamiliar with that gem, it was the silent 1915 racist firebomb movie that caused riots in the streets when it first premiered.

The story takes place during and after the Civil War, the period known as Reconstruction. The movie, based on a book called The Clansman written in 1905, takes the view that the South was the victim of northern aggression. According to this paradigm, after the war Northern white "carpetbaggers" with their aggressive black allies conspired and successfully controlled the South. These two groups, the evil greed of the Northern White mixed with the animal nature of his Black Ally, were so ruthless that white southerners were virtual prisoners in their own land. This was a very popular view at the turn of the century. (This view is still prevalent if you think about the Trent Lotts, Strom Thurmonds and Jesse Helms of the world.)

To depict this flat out racist point of view, the film employs actors in blackface and show scenes of jaw dropping negative stereotyping. Here is an excerpt from Leon Litwick's essay on the film that appeared in the excellent book "Past Imperfect: History According to the Movies":

Through its vivid and unforgettable images, the film impressed on Americans a certain version of reality. Reconstruction, proclaimed one of the intertitles, was "The agony which the South endured that a nation might be born." The camera graphically captures the lurid details of that "agony": Impudent, ungrateful, venal black men, their ambitions bloated by emancipation and civil rights, terrorize helpless whites, shoving them off the sidewalks, blocking their access to the ballot boxes and leering at their women. Blacks brandish signs reading, "Equal Rights, Equal Politics, Equal Marriage." They ridicule and chain their old masters. They abuse those "faithful souls," servants who still take pride in their white folks. They make a mockery of democratic government, sitting shoeless in legislative chambers, drinking whiskey from bottles and eating chicken off the bone while enacting a statute legitimizing interracial marriage. Finally and inevitably, maddened by power and lust, Blacks strike out at the most valued possession of White men - their women. Gus, a depraved "renegade Negro" and former slave, forces a White girl to leap to her death in order to preserve her purity. And Silas Lynch (A Bi-Racial "Mulatto" - The great villain of the piece.), whose election as Lieutenant-Governor only heightens his lust, seeks to force marriage on a virginal, limp, gagged and helpless young White woman. He tells her, "I will build a Black Empire…and you as my Queen shall rule by my side."

At the end of the film, the Ku Klux Klan ride to the rescue of white people trapped in a log cabin surrounded by maniacal Blacks...all with Jesus Christ overseeing the whole expedition from above.

Believe it or not, these are the good guys!

It has to be seen to be believed...and it about as realistic as The Godfather which also "impressed on Americans a certain version of reality."

Even with it's ridiculous racist content...and I mean ridiculous..."The Birth of a Nation" is still a great film. The techniques DW Griffith used for the first time back in 1915 would become the blueprint for all films to follow. It was the birth of what we now know as cinema. To not accept that fact might be politically correct, but a tad disingenuous. Simply put, we can not deny that our own past existed.

But that is purely on a technical level. I feel no love for that movie and I would only recommend that you watch it if you have a strong stomach and a true fetish for film history. The Godfather, on the other hand, I love and would suggest it to anyone who likes a good story.

But in the end, they're both kind of evil, aren't they?

Larry

The Sprint Promise

2007-05-29T07:15:00.000-04:00

We here at
Sprint
(Now together with Nextel)

...will ram it so far up your ying-yang
your tonsils will tickle.

And that's a fucking promise!

Did anyone else recently get screwed by these humps?

Larry

But for the grace of God...

2007-05-16T22:39:00.000-04:00

I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph

John Lennon

Obituary

1933-2007

This guy was a complete fucking prick.

Larry B

"They Should Be In Fucking Jail"

2007-05-08T00:11:00.000-04:00

This appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher last Friday. The user who posted it on YouTube condensed it a little, but the essence of the exchange is in tact. Watch it. It is short and to the point.

Hollywood elitist?

If any of the Democratic candidates talk like this in 2008 they will receive at least 50 million votes on top of the ones who are already "in the bag." Just seek out the entire clip...or preferably watch the entire show - it was excellent...and observe how the politician on the panel, Democrat Harold Ford Jr, answers Maher's question. His rhetoric of "investigations" and excuse making ring completely hollow while Penn's outrage is actually true to what millions of us righteously think and feel.

So, I ask again - Hollywood elitist?

No...

This is what a real American sounds like. And that American is saying what THIS REAL AMERICAN thinks as well.

Shame on anybody who falls for the Fox bullshit spin.

Larry B.

I pulled into Nazareth...

2007-03-07T06:56:00.000-05:00

Hello Everybody.

Long time no speak!

I'm sorry for the lack of posts over the last month. Ever since I left the cubicle jungle, I have been participating in a self-designed/self-medicated system of deprogramming. An attempt at altering the natural/unnatural state of the Human Being. That is the state of doing what they are told from the day they are born to the day they die or, at the very least, having someone tell them what to do every step of the way. From Parent to Teacher to Priest to Boss to Doctor and finally their own children as they lay dying in some decrepit nursing home…if they're lucky…following orders and if we don't, we feel guilty.

We live day to day, month to month, year to year, decade to decade, generation to generation, usually doing what we have to do and rarely doing what we really want to do. We usually try to measure up to some external guideline that has been laid down for us ironically by people who probably had it laid down for them.

We react. We exist.

So, this past month has been an attempt to make my own "market correction." To untether the spirit. To travel on an intense journey to the center of the mind and find out what an individual thinks left to his own devices if only just to see what lurks beneath the layers of the inconsequential.

With all that being said, I had a revelation at six o'clock this morning.

The most aptly named President in United States history was:

Chester Alan Arthur

"Crazy Chester followed me...
and he caught me in the fog."

Now THAT guy was chillin' !

Larry

This Heaven Gives Me Migraine

2007-02-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

I read this article in the paper yesterday.

Terror-ble Publicity Blitz
Sparks Boston Flee Party
by
MICHAEL WHITE and DAVE GOLDINER
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

A bonehead publicity stunt virtually shut down Boston yesterday - and authorities blamed a Greenwich Village guerrilla marketing firm for the chaos.

Interference Marketing, an edgy company that touts its "unconventional methods," installed blinking magnetic devices depicting a cartoon character flashing its middle finger on highways and overpasses - and even in a hospital - across Beantown.

The campaign was designed to build buzz for the Cartoon Network's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," which features talking junk food items. But the stunt bombed in Boston, spawning terror fears, snarling traffic and shutting down some subway service.

"It's a hoax - and it's not funny," said Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick.

Boston Mayor Thomas Menino wasn't laughing either - and grimly promised jail time for those behind the devices.

Media giant Turner Broadcasting, which owns the Cartoon Network, apologized for the stunt.

"We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger," the company said. As soon as the company realized the problem, it said, law-enforcement officials were told of locations in 10 cities, including New York, where the dopey devices were placed.

An NYPD source said 41 of the devices were placed around the city, mostly in Brooklyn, and were removed last night. Police here had not received any calls of concern about the battery-powered devices.

No one returned calls from Interference, which specializes in plastering subway stations and sidewalks with temporary ads.

Interference CEO Sam Ewen, who lives in Brooklyn Heights, was said to be out of town.

Hundreds of cops and firefighters swarmed across highways and subways around Boston after jittery residents called to report the devices, causing massive delays for drivers and riders. A stretch of the picturesque Charles River that runs through the city was also shut down.

Peter Berdovsky, 27, of Arlington, Mass., and Sean Stevens, 28, of Charlestown, Mass., were each arrested last night on one felony charge of placing a hoax device and one charge of disorderly conduct, Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley said. In a news release announcing Stevens’ arrest, she said the men worked together to place the devices.

Both were held on $2,500 cash bond each after they pleaded not guilty.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" is a bizarro show with a cultish following that airs as part of the Adult Swim late-night block of programs on the Cartoon Network.

It features a talking milk shake, a box of French fries and a wad of hamburger. It also features characters called "mooninites," which are known for giving others the finger.

Adult Swim ran an apology to the city of Boston both on its website and during its Cartoon Network broadcast last night.

from NYDailyNews.com

When I read an article like this I feel the same as when someone says to me that they would “...rather drink a beer with George Bush.” I just don’t get it.

Is something being left out?

What I gather from this report…the only information I have on the subject…is that some publicity company trying to promote some cartoon show put electronic devices that showed an animated character giving the onlooker "the finger." These devices were placed all around the city of Boston in an attempt to catch the passerby’s attention. And when the unsuspecting public did notice these little cartoon images they reacted in the only logical and reasonable way they knew how: They panicked in abject terror, causing “snarling traffic and shutting down some subway service.”

Behold...the new face of terror.

Am I alone in thinking this is completely absurd?

I mean, if I am walking down the street, minding my own business, and I see bolted to the side of a building an electronic screen with a cartoon character making an obscene gesture towards my direction the first thing I am going to think of is not that it is a bomb. Judging by his detonation choice, I might conclude that it was planted by the only terrorist in the world who evidently graduated Pratt Institute. When did terrorist types start showing stylistic quirkiness and artistic flare?

How can we even remotely suggest we are free when the slightest turn off the beaten path is met with fear and loathing?

Now I know this sounds like just some stupid publicity stunt put into action simply to sell more soap but the reaction of the population raises serious questions.

The Mayor, “...grimly promised jail time for those behind the devices.” For what? Doing something that made people become unreasonably frightened? Jesus, I hope people don’t start being afraid of having sex and start demanding “jail time” for practitioners of such evil deeds.

Oh wait, they are...and they do.

I also like the “hundreds of cops and firefighters” swarming the highways and subways around Boston causing massive delays. I bet you at one or, most likely, many times during that “swarm” someone was commanded to “MOVE IT ASSHOLE” because he happened to be walking down the street in a ten block radius of where one of the devices was located.

And before you say, “the world has changed since 9/11” I say BULLOCKS! The world is just as dangerous as it ever was, it is our perception of it that has changed.

When I think of how thin the veneer of civility really is, I become depressed. You have to truly question the social evolution of a society where such attitudes are the norm. You also have to question the future of a society whose true foundation is hate and fear and not hope and love.

I gave at the office

Larry

The Laddie Fancies Himself a Poet!

2007-02-01T19:38:00.000-05:00

The Meeting

As I panned the weary
and/or
bewildered faces
sitting around the oblong table
this morning
a ghostly image appeared opposite me.

He appeared to be
giving me an "OK" sign
which I returned.

Then he tried to give
the person sitting next to him
a high-five.

His gesture
was not reciprocated
by that person.

Apparently
this image was seen
only by me.

I resigned from my job.
Tomorrow is my last day.
The cube world no longer owns me.
I reject this regimented existence.

Larry

Don't Knock the Rock

2007-01-04T23:19:00.000-05:00

We'll always have Paris. We didn't have...we lost it...until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.

dialogue from
Casablanca (1942)

1/4/2006

Let me paint you a picture:

The year is 1986. The credits are rolling on a filthy unkempt alabaster movie screen at the Canarsie Triplex on Avenue L and East 93rd Street in Brooklyn New York. A slightly intoxicated 18 year old boy and his friend rise from their seats in the darkened smoke filled theatre which was once the size of a palace but, due to the inevitable surrender to commerce, had been divided into three absurdly small rooms that were a notch above a peep show.

As the two young men make there way through the aisle which is saturated with cigarette butts, empty Bon-Bon boxes and coated with sticky butter flavored topping, a rage starts to build. The 18 year old, long having lost his buzz, could not shake the deep feeling of being cheated. The 90 minutes he just sat through was so awful, so banal, so demoralizing, that he knew he needed to say something. As they passed through the once grand lobby now a cesspit of disrepair he turned to his friend and made the simple declaration:

"I am never paying to see another one of this guy’s movies again."

That reefered up boy...was me.
The movie...was Cobra.
And "this guy"...was Sylvester Stallone.

I know my statement sounded harsh but you have to understand where I was coming from. The year before (1985) I paid…actually paid…to see the completely dreadful Rambo: First Blood Part II. That movie had scene after scene of appalling jingoistic simplicity. ("Do we get to win this time Colonel?") A plotline that had some mealy mouthed bureaucrat betray Rambo and leave him for dead…along with many missing POWs…in Vietnam. The Vietnamese are presented as drooling, barbaric, sadistic, inhuman soldiers who chomp at the bit to get a chance to torture a pure righteous American. And to hammer home the point that "these people" are backward and uncivilized, the commanding officer is a soulless Soviet officer whose qualification for command seems to be that he is white and looks like Bo Svenson adrift in a sea of yellow animals. The overall theme of the picture was obvious - Have no faith in civil authorities and trust the men with the guns. ("I'm coming for you.")

In other words, you could imagine the Reagan/Bush Whitehouse screening this shit with twinkles in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

Then after that depressing experience, I paid…actually paid…to see Rocky IV. That was the one where Rambo…I mean Rocky…fights the Russian guy. To describe this movie as ridiculous would be a textbook understatement. Let’s just say that in it Oscar…I mean Rocky…goes to Moscow…Cold War Moscow…to fight this gigantic Russian Boxer named Drago played by a HUGE Dolph Lundgren. This boxer, who is on every cutting edge body enhancing drug that the Soviet Government can get its hands on, in an earlier bout, killed Apollo Creed in the ring ("You will lose."). Now Judge Dredd…I mean Rocky…has his work cut out for him. After a montage of him pulling large logs through snow covered frozen Russian tundra with really lame mid 80s pop rock playing in the background, Sly develops a strategy. He is going to let The Punisher…I mean Drago…beat him up for several rounds translating to a version of the Muhammad Ali "rope-a-dope." After he takes this merciless beating ("He is a piece of iron."), in the process "tiring out" Drago, Tango…or was it Cash?...I mean Rocky…turns up the firepower and knocks out the juiced up Russian. Incredibly, near the end of this silly fight, the crowd in the arena…located in the capital of the Soviet Union…start cheering "ROCK-EE…ROCK-EE." After The Rock is declared the winner he grabs the Mic and says, "If I could change…You could change…" etc. to thunderous cheers!!!

Yeah right.

And then there was Cobra. This was a "film" that had absolutely no merit whatsoever. Poorly written. Poorly directed. Phoned in passionless performances. A straight up zero star movie that deserved no audience. A waste of celluloid so painful, 18 year old kids walked out of theatres 90 minutes closer to death. Having just a little less faith in the inherent worth of art. With just a little less faith in the power of human dignity. Just a little less happy to be alive. ("You're the disease…I'm the cure.")

The 80s…What a fucking decade.

I kept that spontaneous vow for the last 21 years...and it wasn't that hard to do really. When Cliffhanger came out I drank wine. When Demolition Man was released I laughed out loud. But, most importantly, I did not hand over any of my hard earned cash to that Jackal. He burned me so often that there is absolutely no way I could pay $7 to $10 to sit in a theatre and watch Get Carter and keep my self respect.

But being that it is the New Year, and in the spirit of new beginnings, new directions, I decided to finally bury the hatchet and make my peace with Mr. Stallone. This evening I went to see…and actually paid for…the new release Rocky Balboa.

Why not?

It wasn't bad really…but it wasn't good either. It was a solid two star (2 1/2 if you're feeling generous) average film. Several scenes worked while other whole sequences needed major repair. Film is a visual medium that requires skill in composition and subtlety of storytelling. I find that when a director (or screenwriter) resorts to characters standing around and just flat out explaining plot points and themes, the results are less than stellar. This movie's whole first act, as well as large chunks of poor editing choices in the middle as well as a devastatingly heavy handed voice over during the climatic boxing match destroyed any pacing and, as a result, no dramatic tension was ever really generated. These flaws effectively cut my enjoyment by half.

But I don't want to slam the picture too much because it had some good things too. The boxing scenes were shot well and there are several poignant and powerful dialogue exchanges between the now aged icon and some of the other characters. By being straight forward and "pug like" Stallone successfully gets the audience on his side. The character he has created is disarming, slightly dim, but so morally centered and sweet that there is no way you can't like him. In his latest portrayal of one of the all time Everyman of American Cinema, Stallone certainly does not embarrass himself.

But, in 2007, as I sat in the darkened theatre in a very comfortable stadium sized seat complete with cup holder, sans smoke, discarded litter and gelatinous floor residue…a lifetime away from the Canarsie Triplex…a funny thing happened. I started to drift back in time. Not back to that confused reefer influenced, liquored up kid of 1986, mad as hell with a decadent Hollywood star who disappointed him one too many times. I started to go back much further than that. My mind's eye started to look beyond the twenty or so years that separated who I am and who I was. I began to see the nine-year-old kid who went to the theatre with his father to see the original Rocky back in 1976.

As scene after scene of the current movie played before my eyes, I remembered. I remembered that moment very near the end of the original. The moment when Rocky, a character whose "whole life was a million-to-one shot," was in the 15th round of the championship fight. Completely exhausted, his eyes grotesquely swollen and bleeding, he staggers towards the Champ, Apollo Creed, who is also barely standing. I remember at that time my father telling me that the only way Rocky could win was if he knocked out Apollo because, "he already had the belt." As the two men faced each other, the dramatic background music swelled, building and building, to an almost unbearable crescendo. I was on the edge of my seat the whole way. You see, I was truly rooting for this man to win.

Finally, Apollo takes a swing and misses leaving his already badly bruised ribs exposed. Rocky seizes the opportunity and delivers three solid punches, which lifts the Champ off his feet with every blow. The music perfectly punctuates every punch. Apollo desperately hugs Rocky, holding on for dear life. The bell rings, people swarm the two boxers, the fight is over.

In the midst of the swarm of the crowd and the loud noise, Apollo is heard on the soundtrack saying into Rocky's ear "There ain't going to be no rematch," to which Rocky replies, "I don't want one."

As the MC starts to announce the decision of the judges, a result I knew was going to be in Apollo's favor because of what my Dad said, Rocky is accosted by reporters. Surrounded by microphones and having questioned being shouted at him, Rocky starts asking for his Plain-Jane girlfriend Adrian who, at the beginning of the film, was also considered a "loser." She had been watching the fight from afar because she did not want to see him get beat up. Rocky's cries for her grow louder and louder until, with his eyes swollen shut and his face beaten to a pulp, he is finally shouting at the top of his lungs "ADRIAN" over and over again. This is crosscut with Adrian rushing through the crowd yelling "Rocky."

With victorious music playing the whole time, she finally makes it to the ring. She is then lifted through the ropes and the two are at long last together. They passionately embrace draped in the American Flag. A freeze-frame of that powerful image ends the film, a perfect culmination to the last two hours: The character's triumph is total.

Looking back at it, that was probably one of the most moving, beautiful, thoroughly satisfying cinematic moments I ever had in a theatre.

Needless to say, nothing remotely like that happened to me tonight…and in all fairness…I did not expect it to. Although this movie is not half the film the original was, it did restore a certain respect I use to have. It helped wipe away the embarrassment that this franchise had become. It cleansed the palette of the bitter, sour taste of four sequels, each progressively worse than the one before it. It reminded me of why I liked this guy in the first place. And for that I can honestly recommend it despite my lack luster rating.

Because, if you are like me, fondly remembering a time when you were a little kid, sitting in the dark, completely engrossed in the outcome of a fictional boxing match, deeply feeling the complete emotional triumph of a fictional character, so utterly moved by a modern day parable that reinforced, through brilliant, solid, filmmaking, the simple axiom:

"You can be anything you want to be, as long as you believe in yourself."

...then you should see this movie.

And afterwards, if you're not careful, you might be somewhat amazed that you were ever that innocent.

That is pretty damn cool.

Larry

UPDATE:

1/5/2007 - 2:21 AM

WOW!

I bought the DVD of Rocky after work today and just finished watching it. The ending is considerably different than I stated in my post. In my recollection, I seemed to have morphed the last two rounds of the fight as well as muddle other details, most notably there was no American flag involved. I must have blended that image with the one from Rocky IV which...I am sure...had that visual element. I am not going to buy that DVD to double check so I will leave it at that.

But I will leave the text as is and definitely stand by the emotional truth of my post. It was written as a steady flow of thought directly after coming home from the theatre and represents my subjective feelings on the subject rather than an objective truth. I hadn't seen the original in over twenty years at the time of the posting...and it showed. It just amazes me that the mind can remember something so clearly, so definitively, in this case 30 years later, and, in reality, can be so factualy wrong.

Getting old I guess.

Larry

Fed Up

2007-01-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

1/3/2007

Int. - The Production Offices of The W.W.E.
(World Wresting Entertainment)

KEVIN FEDERLINE and SAUL sit on opposite sides of a large solid Ivory desk.

KEVIN FEDERLINE: Come on Saul. Put me in the next show. I’m athletic. I can wrestle.

PROMOTER: OK Federline. But just how low are you willing to go?

KEVIN: As low as it takes.

PROMOTER: Well then, I have an idea. The show starts and you come out in the middle of the ring in one of those ridiculous get-ups you usually wear...

FEDERLINE: What do you mean my usual...

PROMOTER: STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH ME!!! DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!!! You know exactly what I mean.

K-FED: OK OK...

PROMOTER: Anyway, you stand there with the Mic and do one of your completely ludicrous spiels about respect and how you’re such a “Playa” and...

FED-EX: What you talking about “Ludicrous?”

PROMOTER: HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! YOU INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME YOU’RE OUT!!! GOT THAT SHIT HEAD?!?

ASSHOLE: Yes sir…

PROMOTER: OK. So after you do a shameless soliloquy about your own unbelievably inflated view of your worth, that’s when WWE Champ John Cena gets into the ring. John walks right up to you and tears off your jumpsuit in one rip. The only thing you have on underneath is a pair of pink frilly panties and gold lamee nipple tassels. Over this image we’ll superimpose the graphic “Kept Bitch.”

LOSER: Um...

PROMOTER: At this point you make a terrified facial and urinate down your leg. After Cena laughs at you mockingly, he starts to chase you around the ring. As you run in a real exaggerated motion, you yelp and scream pathetically. Oh yeah...while this is going on I get the organ player to play the “Benny Hill Theme.” What do ya say Dummy?

DINGLEBERRY: I’m in.

Brave New World

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Larry

Philip of Macedon

2006-12-19T00:01:00.000-05:00

I found this clip on YouTube. It was called "Dr. Phil Kicks Guest Off Show."

12/19/06

For those of you who can not watch this ridiculous clip, (And the reason could very well be on my end because I have never embedded anything from YouTube on this blog before so I hope it works.) let me give you a brief description.

Evidently, it is from a recent Dr. Phil show. The guest was the guy who produces the videos “Bum Fights” which consists of him walking around with a camera and paying homeless people to beat each other up or commit other such physical ugliness. One of the scenes actually has a homeless guy pulling his tooth out with a pair of pliers for a few dollars. To introduce his guest, Dr. Phil plays a video montage with the above mentioned scenes cross cut with the producer saying things like “We don’t exploit, we put them to work,” and other such non-sense. When the montage is over, we are back in the studio and the producer is sitting on one of the chairs. Phil turns to him and tells him to leave because he has nothing to say to him. A heated argument ensues and the producer is escorted out by security guards all to the chanting of the audience who are ecstatic that Phil stood up to this immoral jerk.

The telling line is when Phil says, “…having just seen this footage…”

Now, I have never watched the Dr. Phil show, so for all I know he has been laying down this kind of horseshit for years. I had the impression that he was one of those self-help guru type guys. The kind who gets fat people or drug addicts or habitual sex addicts on and tells them that they are fucking up, change your ways, etc. It always seemed silly to me but I understand there is a market for that sort of thing. No harm no foul. In other words, I always thought he was sincere as far as his content goes.

But this shit is a set-up, at the very least orchestrated by Phil to make himself look like a crusader for justice, or both Phil and his guest with the Bum Fight guy agreeing to be “sandbagged” because if he picks up sales worth $30.74 he considers it a net gain. The guest has no worries that his “image” or his “reputation” is being impugned. He is a man who produces a series of media called “Bum Fights,” I honestly don’t think he cares what society thinks of him.

So, if the Bum Fight guy is being dishonest is an open question, but there is absolutely no doubt that Phil is full of feces. Does he expect us to believe that he had NO IDEA what this guy did for a living? Does Phil think that we would actually believe that he was so overcome with moral outrage that he made a spontaneous decision to throw this guy off his set? Does he expect us to believe that all through the booking and preparation process that took place before the actual taping of this show, Phil didn’t pay any attention to the fact that the central guest of the episode was some guy who makes a living by paying bums to urinate on themselves? Is he suggesting that he has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening on his own show?

Come to think of it, Phil is starting to look more and more “Presidential” every day.

That this producer is a sleazebag, or at least amoral, there is no doubt. I have never saw any of these vignettes of human beings, people who polite society has written off, doing truly terrible things to other human beings…or themselves…but just the idea of displaying such human squalor for profit reeks of Randian capitalism. Looking at this guy’s material through that prism puts it all in perfect perspective…to me anyway.

But what of this Dr. Phil guy? He positions himself as a moral center that is going to lay down some truth and the world will be a much better place for his insight. This piece of footage proves that he is no better than a sensationalist hack that lucked out by having a powerful woman, Oprah, by into his jive, which led to the big house, the multiple cars and, I suspect most importantly, the external validation and recognition he so desperately needs to actually feel something…anything at all.

But here is the interesting part. As the guest was getting tossed off with a typically highbrow line used in a totally base cynical performance (“Sir, you could leave now”), in his defense said something that was actually the beginning of a discussion:

“You say that I am exploiting people, what do you call what you are doing? Why do you think people are watching your show?”

Yes, why do people watch this dreck? What the producer was suggesting, and I concur, is that the reasons why people watch the fat guy get chewed out or the dope fiend get chastised on shows like Dr. Phil are the same reasons why people view a homeless guy slam his head against a dumpster for $20…Either to see someone get humiliated or dehumanized and in the process feel better about their own lot in life.

This is not a new phenomenon. It goes all the way back to the Romans who would gather around and watch people being ripped apart by wild animals cheering the whole time giving each other the Latin equivalent of a high-five.

While the Roman example deals more with physical blood lust, the degradation of other human beings seems to have always been part of the spectrum of entertainment. From ancient Greek Tragedies; to traveling religious inquisitions which would create carnival like atmospheres whenever they would roll into town with the money-shot being the incineration of a human being whose crime was probably not being in conformist step; to human oddity shows where people would ridicule people inflicted with some disease that made them “different” so, therefore, to be feared; to current reality shows that reward obnoxious and completely unacceptable behavior as long as it produces “conflict.”

So Dr. Phil, instead of doing that totally trumped up “I’m offended” act and that is what it was…AN ACT…could have said something to the effect of:

“You sicken me but you do live in a very large house. After all these years of social evolution, why are purveyors of such detestable filth, like yourself, still able to prosper? Is it simply “human nature” or is it a learned behavior that we find joy and entertainment in someone else’s misery and spiritual breakdown? And why can someone who portrays himself as someone who clears away the bullshit and gets to the bottom of things, such as myself, book someone like you if I am not going to deal with the actual provocative questions your very existence raises and just do some kind of ratings stunt that gets people talking about me and maybe earns me a raise but does ABSOLUTELY nothing to further anyone’s insight into the human experience?”

Although the guest’s body of work is obviously more despicable, being that people probably get physically hurt in his videos, isn’t it fair to say that Dr. Phil is at least playing in the same league?

Larry

Half-Baked Cube Hits

2006-12-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

1) You will never achieve any peace or contentment if you view the world as a referendum on you.

2) I find that most situations in life can be dealt with by using some lines from the movie Arthur:

Hobson:

Sir, it is really not my place to say.
On the other hand go screw yourself.

3) Does anyone else feel that John Oates got paid a whole shit load of money to play rhythm guitar?

4) The other day as I thumbed through some paperwork in my cube I had an epiphany. A society who allows a person to live comfortably producing this horse hooey all day is doomed to fail.

5) I contacted a Nobel Prize winning mathematician the other day. I asked him to calculate the mathematical probability of someone called England Dan meeting a guy named John Ford Coley. I haven't heard back from him yet but I would guess that it would be at least four to one.

6) Oh my sweet Jesus...

Bill Gates appearing in Teen Beat magazine in 1983.

7) I am feeling very optimistic about the near future. I feel we are on the cusp of a cultural explosion directly analogous to 1966. But the moment some guy like Jim Croce shows up it's all over.

In other words we must be on our guard...and I mean REALLY on our guard...because with extreme freedom of expression comes the truly horrific specter of some Gabe Kaplan looking mother-fucker, ass plopped down on a wooden stool next to some sycophantic jack ass, strumming their guitars, singing melodically pleasing balless trash, while nameless, personality challenged, indoctrinated drones sit sheepishly cross legged, blankly nodding...to what they have no idea.

Next stop Reagan.

8) When I was in the 8th grade I had a Social Studies teacher by the name of Mr. Kotin. Naturally, being thirteen year old boys, we called him Kotex.

Anyway, during one of his many snooze-fests at I.S. 364 in Brooklyn, the subject of World War II came up. I admit I completely forget in what context. I remember I raised my hand and said, “You know when you think about it, WW II was really good for America,” to which he replied “That is ridiculous,” and moved on to someone else who recited something from some outdated textbook.

My thought was that before we entered the war we were in a state of economic depression and somewhat subservient isolation. Afterwards we were the top dog of the world whose population not only had “a chicken in every pot” but two cars in every garage. For the most part that is. For expressing that incredibly simplistic yet somewhat truthful idea, I was pretty much told to shut up.

Mr. Kotin wasn’t a bad guy individually but you really have to question a society whose institutions deplore provocative statements from intellectually developing children instead of exploring their meanings and consequences.

9) In public restrooms, I feel that it is a huge etiquette no-no to deuce and dialog.

Larry

Hey Bulldog

2006-12-08T12:28:00.000-05:00

"...(John Lennon) represented life, and that is admirable. Mr. Nixon, and Mr. Bush, represent death. And that is a bad thing."

Gore Vidal

12/8/2006

As I sit here in my cube, sipping a triple short mocha-chino with whip cream and cashew shavings on top, I ponder the cubist reality that I currently inhabit. A never ending paper chase which systemically indoctrinates the human soul to one of materialistic servitude. An existence where a third of your life…the only one you have…is spent hustling to "make your nut." A melancholy befalls upon me when I think of the world in these terms.

But before I become overcome with despair, an abstract sadness that comes from past regrets, missed opportunities or loss, I think of someone like John Lennon who was killed...gunned down on a New York street 26 years ago today...and I am bolstered. He was an artist who first understood, then promoted and finally became the embodiment of a simple mantra in an ocean of indifference:

There is more to life than just paying bills.

Another thought occurred to me as I wiped a hint of nutmeg off my upper lip. Some of you reading this were actually born after that fateful night in 1980. For those of you who fit that category, I suggest that you go to YouTube and do a search with his name and/or “The Beatles.” There is a wealth of visual material to be had there. Watch some of the interviews, performances and performance art pieces that will give you a taste of what is was like in a time when artists were not always empty-headed narcissists, materialist tools with self-congratulatory "conscience" or flat out assholes looking for their next free bottle of liquor. Some of them actually had something relevant to say.

It would be worth your time to do so, if only to find out that an alternative to apathetic resignation once existed...and not that long ago either.

John Lennon was 40 years old when he was murdered.

Larry

Day of Infamy

2006-12-07T14:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands. Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. This morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.

Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December seventh, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
adressing the joint session of Congress
- December 8, 1941

Pier 1010

USS Nevada

USS Oglala

USS Shaw

Pier 1010 - another view

USS Downes and USS Cassin

The USS Arizona

The above reprinted text, President Roosevelt’s speech in response to the attack on Pearl Harbor 65 years ago today, is well known and quite easy to find in both print and on the web.

What is less familiar is the verbal reaction from Berlin reprinted here for the first time:

“Wir sind so gefickt……so völlig gefickt.”*

Adolf Hitler
Sitting on his toilet, pants and draws around his ankles,
reading the newspaper,shaking uncontrollably.
- December 8, 1941

Good thing too.

Larry

* - We are so fucked. So totally fucked.

Art for Art's Sake

2006-12-04T13:44:00.000-05:00

12/4/2006

I know there are many of you out there who do not have basic cable. For philosophical reasons, you deprive yourself of one of the greatest developments of the modern world. Hundreds of channels of informative programming and quality entertainment could be at your fingertips at the flip of a switch but...no. You prefer to sit in your ivory tower looking down on the masses.

Well, don’t worry. It is not too late. You still have one day to break your self imposed exile and rejoin the land of the informed.

Tomorrow night on the USA Network at 9PM, it is the world television premiere of PATCH ADAMS!

Solid

With one telephone call, you could be watching Academy Award winning actor Robin Williams do schtick for 90 minutes while the other actors stand around watching, so removed from the star’s self-contained gags that all they could do is look directly into the camera and laugh. To break the monotony of this continuous yuk-fest, scenes of Williams directing serious righteous indignation at “The Man” are peppered throughout. These scenes (pictured above) are used to reassure the viewer that they are actually watching a film with a narrative instead of footage of a very unstable, talented man crying for help. Desperate cries which fall upon deaf ears. The working title of most of these projects is “I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can.”

So stop being such an elitist bastard and order…
You don’t know what you’re missing.

Larry

Rum-Tum-Tugger is the Coolest Cat

2006-11-10T15:14:00.000-05:00

I cant believe the news today
I cant close my eyes and make it go away
How long...
How long must we sing this song?
How long?
How long...

U 2
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
1983

11/10/06

In a previous post - (Election Eve Special) - I urged the American public to vote for the Democratic candidate, no matter who they were, to finally put an end to this man made disaster that has been going on in our country. Well, evidently, my endorsement put the Democrats over the top because the results of the election can only be described as a clean sweep. The Democratic Party has gained control of the House and the Senate so, if anything, they will be at least relevant again. Of course, I can’t take all the credit for this glorious victory. As it turns out, the fringe concepts of honoring human rights and providing help for the middle and lower classes weren’t as off the wall as the 24 hour-a-day/seven-day-a-week plethora of talking heads would have us believe.

But make no mistake about it, the election swung primarily on one issue: Dissatisfaction with the War. Either being against it out right or just disgusted with the Administration’s prosecution of it, men and women, from Kentucky to Montana, came out in droves and said unequivocally Enough and cast their votes against the Republican Party.

In the aftermath of this landslide…and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation which was probably caused by said landslide…cable news networks were all a buzz. Since I was hungry for some commentary about the who, why and how of this rebirth of freedom, I decided to enter the minefield of the Chris Matthews and Joe Scarboroughs of the world. The Zahns, the Coopers and the Blitzers, all rounding up the usual gang of idiots to throw their two cents in, verbally doing a victory dance or funeral dirge depending on which party they are shilling for. And, believe me, there were so many to choose from. Channel after channel were filled with overwhelming graphics, ridiculous color coded pie charts and close-up facial expressions of angry little men. The cumulative effect of this barrage was me hitting the remote, switching over to the USA network to watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

Alas, I had already seen that particular episode.

So after about twenty minutes I turned to PBS and the “Jim Lehrer New Hour.” It had been awhile since I watched this show, but I always felt that over the years they kept their dignity while all around them succumbed to the “we are a bunch of clowns in a funny car” approach to political news developed by The McLaughlin Group over twenty years ago. I was just in time to see Dov Zakheim, the former Under Secretary of Defense, discussing the legacy of his former boss, Don Rumsfeld. I only caught the tail end of the interview. It was a pretty straightforward exchange:

INTERVIEWER: Is it his (Rumsfeld) responsibility that some of these big things didn't happen, like recognizing that insurgency was starting to gather strength in Iraq?

ZAKHEIM: A lot of people didn't recognize it was gathering strength. The reason was that, if you recall in the first year after the war, you didn't have anything like this level of insurgency. So it caught a lot of people by surprise.

And there in lies the rub.

A lot of people DID know!!! Before the war started, MANY speculated on what would be needed to “win the peace.” During the “liberation” MANY people pointed out the possible consequences of the disastrous decisions being made in the Pentagon. And at the start of the occupation MANY people understood the possible ramifications of our policies which have all come true. But the “they” who...accurately as it turns out...anticipated events were either fired, discredited or treated as cowards and traitors. At every step of the way, they were viewed as people “with an agenda who want to see us lose the war.” The Pentagon and the Whitehouse surrounded themselves with Yes Men creating a cocoon of optimism ignoring all information and opinions to the contrary.

So, when Zakheim comes on PBS, the day after the electorate overwhelmingly reject his Party’s plan and vision, and his Guru resigns to the sound of cheering in the streets and defends these fuck-ups with a “well a lot of people were fooled” excuse, I think he HONESTLY believes it because the secretive, paranoid culture THEY created discouraged any dissent.

This is what Rumsfeld had to say to the gathered reporters the other day. THIS is how he sees his tumultuous tenure:

“The great respect that I have for your leadership, Mr. President, in this little understood, unfamiliar war, the first war of the 21st century -- it is not well-known, it was not well-understood, it is complex for people to comprehend. And I know, with certainty, that over time the contributions you've made will be recorded by history.”

Too complex and incomprehensible, heh?

Maybe he is right. The situation in Iraq is certainly complex. I mean, when the power structure of a society, full of distrusting tribal sensibilities being held together by a totalitarian strong man…NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU THINK HE IS…is ripped out by a foreign power, it would be extremely wise and prudent to have a specific, well thought out plan to prevent a complete breakdown of the social order. When that easily predictable situation started to occur, this is what Rummy had to say:

“Freedom's untidy and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things. They're also free to live their lives and do wonderful things. And that's what's going to happen here…stuff happens.”

That must have gone over well with working class Iraqis who were living a somewhat normal pre-invasion existence.

I guess, in retrospect, Rummy’s farewell remarks are really on the money because how a man who makes such ridiculous, asinine, harmful statements can keep his job for as long as he did is incomprehensible. Until the Republican Party sheds itself of these self-deluded, closed minded, dangerous ideologues, the ones who have been the party’s high command for the last ten years, THEY are the ones who should be considered irrelevant.

In other words, instead of consulting with Jesus in the Rose Garden about life and death decisions affecting millions of people, or relying on objective rational analysis from officers like Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin, a career military man who made the following statements…

“…we're a Christian nation, because our foundation and our roots are Judeo-Christian ... and the enemy is a guy named Satan.”

“I knew my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol.”

“We in the army of God, in the house of God, kingdom of God have been raised for such a time as this.”

“He's (Bush) in the White House because God put him there.”

…maybe these guys should have considered the opinions of General Shinseki, a man who was eventually ran out of town for committing the sin of saying that the Emperor had no clothes.

Not too long after my post debuted on Monday…and subsequently changed the world…an Anonymous poster implied that my call for partisan voting (“Democrat, straight down the line”) was unreasonable. When I tried to explain that it was the reality of our two-party system that had led me to such a drastic conclusion I was, as usual, accused of playing the “Blame Game.”

Obviously, as the Republican Party has proven over the last six years, government needs to start working on a bi-partisan basis. Completely shutting the other party out of the legislative process, as the Republican Party has proven over the last six years, leads to some disastrous choices, dividing a nation on both domestic and foreign affairs, almost to the point of irreconciliation. I, for one, hope there is not too much vengeance. Yes, I want to see investigations immediately…IMMEDIATELY…into the rampant war profiteering that has been going on unchecked; the outrageous infringement of our civil rights; and “punish” the most egregious criminals. Basically I want the return of Constitutional Law. But I do not really need to see the “payback” that I am sure some will (justifiably) be chomping at the bit to get. Although it will feel good, humiliating the opposition wouldn’t really fix the problem or fill the hole we find ourselves in. We ALL have to be adults and straighten this shit out. Every interview I have seen with any of the Democrats these past few days, from McCaskal to Pelosi (Yes…Pelosi) seems to indicate that they are going to take the high road… even at the risk of offending some of their more rabid constituency which, more often then not, I find myself in. But outweighing the sheer pleasure I would have in seeing a whole bunch of these guys pilloried in the town square is the very real sense that we are in some serious trouble and the only way to get out of it is to work together.

So, with my optimistic feeling of “seeing a light at the end of the tunnel,” I opened up the New York Post this morning.

It was a huge mistake.

Dear Anonymous:

How are Democrats suppose to cooperate with Republicans when they are being portrayed as weak, cowardly and in league with terrorists? Yes, I know this is just some political cartoon in a completely useless feces covered sheet of toilet paper, but hasn’t this idea been the central theme of every Republican campaign since 9-11? Haven’t these draft dodging jerks attempted to scare the public into thinking their opposition…incredibly combat veterans in some cases…are weak and cowardly and are being cheered on by Osama bin-Laden?

This is completely disgusting.

I think these guys…the Ralph Reeds, Dick Cheneys, Pat Robertsons, etc, the influential Republicans who have pretty much controlled the direction of the party since Pat Buchanan made that deplorable keynote speech at the RNC in 1992 are either

Fully aware they are laying down a repulsive con that is destroying this country just to make themselves rich or,

If they truly believe this horse shit that they directly, or through surrogates, saturate the public with, despise the United States of America and everything this great country stands for.

I am still excited about the changes in Washington and there will be, for the next two years anyway, accountability and adulthood brought back to representative government for the first time since Bill Clinton (YES…Bill Clinton). But, please Anonymous, when you have one party, in 2002, only a few months after the worst assault upon this country - an attack that unified this entire nation and possibly a majority of the globe - accuse the opposition party of not being patriotic because they didn’t support a tax bill that would make the richest even more richer or some such nonsense like that…do not tell me that it is unreasonable to become partisan.

I plead self defense.

Sincerely,
Larry

The Kids Win...You Lose !!!

2006-11-08T09:46:00.000-05:00

"I thank God that I have lived to see this day. It seems to me that I have been dreaming a horrid dream for five years. But now the nightmare is gone."

Abraham Lincoln
April, 1865

11/8/2006

At the time of this writing, 10 AM on the day after the 2006 mid term election, the Democrats have...at minimum...taken back the House of Representatives.

Baltimore, Maryland
Tuesday, 11/07/2006
9:00 PM (E.S.T.)

St Louis, Missouri
Tuesday, 11/7/2006
9:01 PM (C.S.T.)

Portland, Oregon
Tuesday, 11/7/2006
9:02 PM (P.S.T.)

In the spirit of bi-partisanship, I would like to take this time to congratulate the Republican Party and the current Administration on a successful strategy coming to full flurition last night.

They finally achieved that “WW II feeling” they have been trying to foster all this time.

Larry

Election Eve Special...

2006-11-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

...and now it's on to Chicago and let's win the election."

Robert Kennedy
Last public words
June, 1968

11/6/2006

Tomorrow is mid-term Election Day and, if you have read any of my other postings on this blog, you could probably guess who I am voting for and to reiterate my position would be “preaching to the choir.”

But, and this is the beauty of the internet, over the past few years I seem to have picked up a few readers who somewhat disagree with my basic political point of view. With that in mind, to illustrate my thoughts on the current state of affairs, I will take a different path.

Instead of mentioning the complete mismanagement of intelligence and resources leading to the attack on the World Trade Center, the loss of New Orleans and the invasion of Iraq.

Instead of harping on the implementation of sanctioned torture, the suspension of habeas corpus and the establishment of a concentration camp system.

Instead of pointing to the fiscal irresponsibility and the continued rape of our treasury which is going to cause the next generation to live in economical oblivion.

Instead of making the observation about the consistent vilification of science for the idealization of magic hampering both the medical and the social evolution of the human being.

Instead of remarking on the rampant hypocrisy of Gay Bashing/Family Values clowns who make the world a worse place to live by day with firebrand sermons demonizing homosexuals but, when the lights go down, partake in all night, “Ice” fueled ass-fucking sessions with paid male-whores.

Instead of suggesting that the consolidation of the media and news gathering services, a situation that gives a wide national audience to fat jerks who spend their air time preaching intolerance and compassionless vengeance and their free time high on any narcotic they can get their hands on…from NyQuil to OxyContin.

All of which has happened under Republican leadership.

No, instead of mentioning any of that, I just want to refer to an incident that happened almost 200 years ago.

In the beginning of 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte, having been defeated by a united anti-French coalition, was in exile on the Mediterranean island of Elba. The Emperor of France and would be ruler of all of Europe whose edicts and orders which, at one time, became international law who now found himself in humbled disgrace, barking out orders to anyone who would listen. At his command, instead of the half a million man Grand Armée which he led to stunning victories all across the continent a decade earlier, was a small private guard of one thousand obeying every order with their trademark elan. Their enthusiasm must have felt like a mockery to the little corporal who still held onto his earlier delusions of grandeur.

Despite of Napoleon’s tethered state, or maybe because of it, he decided not to go quietly. He left his island prison, accompanied by his small but extremely loyal armed force and set sail for the south of France. His goal was to take back his Empire. An empire, that he could not accept, was already lost forever.

He landed on the mainland in March of 1815 and immediately began to march towards Paris which, by then, was controlled by the restored monarchy. When his small force, which was slightly bolstered by volunteers who joined along the way, reached the town of Grenoble, they were confronted by the 5th Regiment, a combat hardened veteran unit sent by King Louis XVIII to capture Napoleon and squelch any resistance.

As the story is told, when the two forces finally faced each other in the field, Napoleon ordered the newly outlawed Revolutionary Tri-Color flag to be raised. With his troops outnumbered and outgunned, he rode out into the middle of field… alone. Upon reaching the middle, he opened his coat and spoke directly to the opposing firing line:

“If any man would shoot his Emperor, he may do so now.”

And no one did.

Have any of the fearless leaders of today, the ones who speak of “honor” and “strength” shown anything near this kind of leadership? In the Republican created environment of loyalty oaths, free speech zones and state/corporate run media, can you think of one…just one…of these assholes, the ones who have been telling you to hate or to be afraid for the last six years, who would have the political will or the fearlessness of conviction to put their own ass on the line?

The Republicans have been running the show for six years. If you like what has been going on (The War, The Consumer Debt, The Overspending, The Ass Slamming) then vote for them…because you are going to get more of the same. When you vote for men who can’t take responsibility for their own failures, you will get a society that is full of failures, both material and spiritual.

I urge you to vote Democrat across the board. I honestly don’t care who the candidate is.

In the reality of a two-party system, there is no place else to turn.

The stakes are too high.
Larry

Someone Saved My Life Tonight

2006-11-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

Int. - A university Economics lecture class. In attendance are successful, multi-millionaire, business entrepreneur, middle-aged THORNTON MELON and his SON.

PROFESSOR: We've got a lot to cover, and time is short. There are two kinds of people in business today...the quick and the dead. So, rather than waste your time this semester with a lot of useless theories...we're going to jump right in with both feet and create a fictional company from the ground up. We'll construct our physical plant...we'll set up an efficient administrative and executive structure...then we'll manufacture our product and market it. I think you'll find it very interesting and a lot of fun. So, let's start by looking at construction costs of our new factory.

THORNTON: What's the product?

PROFESSOR: That is immaterial for the purposes of our discussion here...but if it makes you happy let's say we're making tape recorders.

THORNTON: Tape recorders? Are you kidding? The Japs will kill us on the labor costs.

PROFESSOR: OK, fine. Then let's just say they're widgets.

THORNTON: What's a widget?

PROFESSOR: It's a fictional product. It doesn't matter.

THORNTON: Doesn't matter. Tell that to the bank.

SON: Take it easy. It's the first day.

PROFESSOR: On the board, you will see a cost analysis for construction of a 10,000 square-foot facility which will encompass both factory and office space and is fully serviced by all utilities...a railroad spur line and a four-bay shipping dock.

THORNTON: Hold it, hold it. Why build? You're better off leasing at a buck and a quarter, a buck and a half a square foot. Take your down payment and put it into CDs...or something else you can roll over every couple of months.

PROFESSOR: Thank you, Mr. Melon...but we'll be concentrating on finance a little later in the term. For the time being, let's just concentrate on the construction figures, shall we? You'll see the final bottom line requires the factoring in of not just the material and construction costs but also the architects' fees and the cost of land servicing.

THORNTON: Oh, you left out a bunch of stuff.

PROFESSOR: Oh, really? Like what, for instance?

THORNTON: First of all, you have to grease the local politicians for the sudden zoning problems that always come up. Then there's the kickbacks to the carpenters. And if you plan on using any cement in this building I'm sure the teamsters would like to have a little chat with you and that'll cost you. Don't forget a little something for the building inspectors. There's the long-term costs, such as waste disposal. I don't know if you're familiar with who runs that business...but I assure you it's not the boy scouts.

PROFESSOR: That will be quite enough, Mr. Melon. Maybe bribes and kickbacks and Mafia payoffs are how you do business but they are not part of the legitimate business world...and they're certainly not part of anything...I'm teaching in this class. Do I make myself clear?

THORNTON: Sorry. Just trying to help. That's all.

PROFESSOR: Now, notwithstanding Mr. Melon's input...the next question for us is where to build our factory?

THORNTON: How about Fantasy land?

from Back to School (1986)

11/02/2006

This scene is one of my all time favorites in American comedic film. I remember watching it, all those years ago, and laughing out loud. My reaction was not only for the crispness of the dialogue, reproduced here, but Rodney Dangerfield’s delivery. It was perfect. His timing and tone as Melon was brilliant. If you never saw that movie you should check it out some time. Especially if your in a bad or depressed mood. It is not the greatest but definitely worth some good laughs.

Which is why, the other night, as I sat in a sleazy Bronx motel room, sipping Georgi Vodka and Sunkist Orange Soda, staring at the worn carpet and peeling wall paper, with some awful game show hosted by Bob Sagat playing in the background, I recalled it so nostalgically. It had both relevance and weight in my particular predicament.

That is because, sometime earlier, I decided to hire someone to refinish my floors and paint my apartment...and I live in a Co-Op.

Playing the scene in my head from memory, 20 years later, it still made me laugh out loud.

Thanks Rodney...
I didn’t blow my brains out.
Larry

I Love That Man!

2006-09-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, Bill Clinton appeared on the Signal Channel...I mean the Fox Network...and was interviewed by the serious shill/penis/Fox personality Chris Wallace. Evidently, Wallace has some weekly show that consists primarily of him lining up some pseudo-liberal tomato-can and berating them to show "The People" how tough he is. Or, conversely, he has some neo-Nazi...I mean Neo-Con...and lobs him or her softballs, cooing orgasmically, to prove to the stooges...I mean "The People"...that we're in good hands and if only we would kill or maim someone who thinks differently than us then everything will be OK.

I am sure Wallace is just making up for some childhood inadequacies, or he hates his father. His father, by the way, is the longtime CBS journalist Mike Wallace. He was a man who actually fought the "good fight" with the whole Murrow and Friendly gang. His reward for being inquisitive? To watch his own son grow up to become everything that they stood against and despised. Can you just imgaine Thanksgiving Dinner at Mike's house?

Chris: Dad, can you pass the yams?

Mike: (Taking a sip of Jameson's out of a translucent tumbler) Shut the fuck up you lousy shill !!!

He problably hates him with all his heart. Either that or he has absolutely no sense of moral dignity. How else can you explain the complete whore-job he pulls whenever he tells you the latest fart from the White House don't stink?

Well, Mr. Wallace found out that the former President was not one of his usual clowns that he pushes around. Here is a portion of the transcript from their heated exchange:

Fox News Sunday/Clinton Interview

Wallace: When we announced that you were going to be on FOX News Sunday, I got a lot of email from viewers, and I’ve got to say, I was surprised most of them wanted me to ask you this question: Why didn’t you do more to put Bin Laden and al Qaeda out of business when you were President? There’s a new book out which I suspect you’ve read called The Looming Tower. And it talks about how the fact that when you pulled troops out of Somalia in 1993, Bin Laden said, "I have seen the frailty and the weakness and the cowardice of US troops." Then there was the bombing of the embassies in Africa and the attack on the USS Cole

Clinton: Okay…

Wallace: …May I just finish the question, sir? And after the attack, the book says Bin Laden separated his leaders because he expected an attack and there was no response. I understand that hindsight is 20/20…

Clinton: No, let’s talk about…

Wallace: …but the question is why didn’t you do more? Connect the dots and put them out of business?

Clinton: Okay, let’s talk about it. I will answer all of those things on the merits, but I want to talk about the context (in) which this…arises. I’m being asked this on the FOX network…ABC just had a right-wing conservative on "The Path to 9/11" falsely claim that it was falsely based on the 911 Commission Report with three things asserted against me that are directly contradicted by the 9/11 Commission Report. I think it’s very interesting that all the conservative Republicans who now say that I didn’t do enough claimed (then) that I was obsessed with Bin Laden. All of President Bush’s neocons claimed that I was too obsessed with finding Bin Laden when they didn’t have a single meeting about Bin Laden for the nine months after I left office. All the right-wingers who now say that I didn’t do enough said (then) that I did too much. Same people. They were all trying to get me to withdraw from Somalia in 1993, the next day after we were involved in Black Hawk Down. And I refused to do it and stayed six months and had an orderly transfer to the UN. Okay, now let’s look at all the criticisms: Black Hawk Down, Somalia. There is not a living soul in the world who thought that Bin Laden had anything to do with Black Hawk Down or was paying any attention to it or even knew al Qaeda was a growing concern in October of 1993.

Wallace: I understand…

Clinton: No wait…no wait…don’t tell me. You asked me why I didn’t do more to Bin Laden. There was not a living soul…all the people who criticized me wanted to leave the next day. You brought this up, so you get an answer.

Wallace: I’m perfectly happy to. Bin Laden says…

Clinton: And secondly…

Wallace: Bin Laden says…

Clinton: Bin Laden may have said that…

Wallace: Bin Laden says it showed the weakness of the U.S. …

Clinton: It would have shown the weakness if we left right away, but he wasn’t involved in that. That’s just a bunch of bull. That was about Mohammed Adid, a Muslim warlord murdering…thousand Pakistani Muslim troops. We were all there on a humanitarian mission. We had not one mission - none - to establish a certain kind of Somali government or to keep anybody out. He was not a religious fanatic.

Wallace: But Mr. President…

Clinton: There was no al Qaeda…

Wallace: …with respect, if I may, instead of going through ‘93…

Clinton: You asked, you. It (was) you (who) brought it up.

Wallace: May I ask a general question that you can answer? The 9/11 Commission, which you talk about–and this is what they did say–not what ABC pretended they said…

Clinton: Wait, wait…

Wallace: …They said about you and 43 and I quote, "The U.S. government took the threat seriously, not in the sense of mustering anything like that would be….to confront an enemy of the first, second or third rank"…

Clinton: That’s not true with us and Bin Laden…

Wallace: …the 9/11 Commission says…

Clinton: Let’s look at what Richard Clarke says. You think Richard Clarke had a vigorous attitude about Bin Laden?

Wallace: Yes, I do.

Clinton: You do?

Wallace: I think he has a variety of opinions and loyalties, but yes.

Clinton: He has a variety of opinion and loyalties now but let’s look at the facts. He worked for Ronald Reagan; he was loyal to him. He worked for George H.W. Bush and he was loyal to him. He worked for me and he was loyal to me. He worked for President Bush; he was loyal to him. They downgraded him and the terrorist operation. Now, look what he said. Read his book and read his factual assertions - not opinions–assertions. He said we took "vigorous action" after the African embassies. We probably nearly got Bin Laden.

Wallace: [inaudible]

Clinton: Now, wait a minute…

Wallace: …cruise missiles…

Clinton: I authorized the CIA to get groups together to try to kill him. The CIA was run by George Tenet, who President Bush gave the Medal of Freedom to and said he did a good job. The country never had a comprehensive anti-terror operation until I came to office. If you can criticize me for one thing, you can criticize me for this: after the Cole, I had battle plans drawn to go into Afghanistan, overthrow the Taliban, and launch a full scale attack/search for Bin Laden. But we needed basing rights in Uzbekistan, which we got (only) after 9/11. The CIA and the FBI refused to certify that Bin Laden was responsible while I was there. They refused to certify. So that meant I would have had to send a few hundred Special Forces in helicopters and refuel at night. Even the 9/11 Commission didn’t do (think we should have done) that. Now the 9/11 Commission was a political document, too? All I’m asking is if anybody wants to say I didn’t do enough, you read Richard Clarke’s book.

Wallace: Do you think you did enough, sir?

Clinton: No, because I didn’t get him.

Wallace: Right…

Clinton: But at least I tried. That’s the difference in me and some, including all the right-wingers who are attacking me now. They ridiculed me for trying. They had eight months to try and they didn’t. I tried. So I tried and failed. When I failed, I left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy and the best guy in the country: Dick Clarke. So you did FOX’s bidding on this show. You did you nice little conservative hit job on me. But what I want to know..

Wallace: Now wait a minute, sir…I asked a question. You don’t think that’s a legitimate question?

Clinton: It was a perfectly legitimate question. But I want to know how many
people in the Bush administration you’ve asked this question of. I want to know how many people in the Bush administration you asked ‘Why didn’t you do anything about the Cole?’ I want to know how many you asked ‘Why did you fire Dick Clarke?’ I want to know…

Wallace: We asked…Do you ever watch FOX News Sunday, sir?

Clinton: I don’t believe you ask them that.

Wallace: We ask plenty of questions of…

Clinton: You didn’t ask that, did you? Tell the truth.

Wallace: About the USS Cole?

Clinton: Tell the truth…

Wallace: I…with Iraq and Afghanistan, there’s plenty of stuff to ask.

Clinton: Did you ever ask that? You set this meeting up because you were going to get a lot of criticism from your viewers because Rupert Murdoch is going to get a lot of criticism from your viewers for supporting my work on Climate Change. And you came here under false pretenses and said that you’d spend half the time talking about…

Wallace: [laughs]

Clinton: You said you’d spend half the time talking about what we did out there to raise $7 billion plus over three days from 215 different commitments. And you don’t care.

Wallace: But, President Clinton…We were going to ask half the [interview time] about it. I didn’t think this was going to set you off on such a tear.

Clinton: It set me off on such a tear because you didn’t formulate it in an honest way and you people ask me questions you don’t ask the other side.

Wallace: Sir, that is not true…

Clinton: …and Richard Clarke…

Wallace: That is not true…

Clinton: Richard Clarke made it clear in his testimony…

Wallace: Would you like to talk about the Clinton Global Initiative?

Clinton: No, I want to finish this.

Wallace: All right…

Clinton: All I’m saying is you falsely accuse me of giving aid and comfort to Bin Laden because of what happened in Somalia. No one knew al Qaeda existed then…

Wallace: Did they know in 1996, when he declared war on the U.S.? Did no one know in 1998…

Clinton: Absolutely, they did.

Wallace: …when they bombed the two embassies? Or in 2000, when they hit the Cole?

Clinton: What did I do? I worked hard to try and kill him. I authorized a finding for the CIA to kill him. We contracted with people to kill him. I got closer to killing him than anybody has gotten since. And if I were still President, we’d have more than 20,000 troops there trying to kill him. Now I never criticized President Bush, and I don’t think this is useful. But you know we do have a government that thinks Afghanistan is 1/7 as important as Iraq. And you ask me about terror and Al Qaeda with that sort of dismissive theme when all you have to do is read Richard Clarke’s book to look at what we did in a comprehensive, systematic way to try to protect the country against terror. And you’ve got that little smirk on your face. It looks like you’re so clever…

Wallace: [Laughs]

Clinton: I had responsibility for trying to protect this country. I tried and I failed to get Bin Laden. I regret it, but I did try. And I did everything I thought I responsibly could. The entire military was against sending Special Forces into Afghanistan and refueling by helicopter and no one thought we could do it otherwise. We could not get the CIA and the FBI to certify that al Qaeda was responsible while I was President. [Not] until I left office. And yet I get asked about this all the time and they had three times as much time to get him as I did and no one ever asks them about this. I think that’s strange.

Wallace: Can I ask you about the Clinton Global Initiative?

Clinton: You can.

Wallace: I always intended to, sir.

Clinton: No, you intended to move your bones by doing this first. But I don’t mind people asking me. I actually talked to the 9/11 Commission for four hours and I told them the mistakes I thought I made. And I urged them to make those mistakes public because I thought none of us had been perfect. But instead of anybody talking about those things. I always get these clever little political…where they ask me one-sided question. It always comes from one source. And so…And so…

Wallace: I just want to ask you about the Clinton Global Initiative, but what’s
the source? You seem upset…

Clinton: I am upset because…

Wallace: …and all I can say is, I’m asking you in good faith because it’s on people’s minds, sir. And I wasn’t…

Clinton: There’s a reason it’s on people’s minds. That’s the point I’m trying to make. There’s a reason it’s on people’s minds because they’ve done a serious disinformation campaign to create that impression. This country only has one person who has worked against terror…[since] under Reagan. Only one: Richard Clarke. And all I’d say [to] anybody who wonders whether we did wrong or right; anybody who wants to see what everybody else did, read his book. The people on my political right who say I didn’t do enough, spent the whole time I was president saying ‘Why is he so obsessed with Bin Laden?’ And that was ‘Wag the Dog’ when he tried to kill him. My Republican Secretary of Defense, - and I think I’m the only person since WWII to have a Secretary of Defense from the opposition party - Richard Clarke, and all the intelligence people said that I ordered a vigorous attempt to get Osama Bin Laden and came closer apparently than anybody has since.

Wallace: All right…

Clinton: And you guys try to create the opposite impression when all you have to do is read Richard Clarke’s findings and you know it’s not true. It’s just not true. And all this business about Somalia – the same people who criticized me about Somalia were demanding I leave the next day. Same exact crowd.

Wallace: One of the…

Clinton: So if you’re going to do this, for God’s sake, follow the same standards for everybody.

from Crooks and Liars.com

Did you notice that the reporting of this exchange was categorized as "ranting" by the "Liberal Media" after it aired? I didn't see ranting at all. I saw it as Bill laying down some truth. I think the President deserves congratulations for just walking into that cesspit of feces because it was about time these jerks had someone stand up to them.

After reading this transcript and putting it into the context of the past six years, a time period filled with all those blunders, all those fuck-ups, all that pain and sufferring, all performed in front of a backdrop constituted of fear, loathing and contempt for the intelligence of the American citizen, I drew one conclussion. I decided that the proper response to anyone who still supports this absurd administration, or their policies, can only be one thing.

"You got it kid...
...you got it!"

I don't have a hard head...
...so I can't keep knocking it against a wall.

Larry

Two Peas in a Pod

2006-09-20T22:21:00.000-04:00

9/20/06

In preparation to the upcoming Fall Classic, I want to report on the sports world. I want to thank the New York Post in advance for supplying me with the second hand quotes that follow. They were originally printed in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated.

New York Yankees slugger Jason Giambi, an overpaid jerk, decided to make some disparaging comments about his teammate, Alex Rodriguez, another mega-millionaire player who has not had the best of years as far as baseball goes. Evidently Mr. Giambi (The Giambino) was a tad disappointed at Rodriguez's (A-Rod) less than clutch performance at Home Plate. Here are some nuggets from the article:

"He's guessing, and he's doing a bad job of it, which is inevitable when you guess as often as he guesses. He's squeezing the freaking sawdust out of the bat."

"I told (Joe) Torre, 'Tell him like you did to me. 'This is what we want, this is what we expect, this is what we need,' instead of going, 'Oh, you're going to be OK.' Especially when you're struggling like that."

Even if you agree with what Master J.G. is saying...and I do...it is a major faux pas in the Major Leagues to go to a media outlet and totally rag on your teammate. They are suppose to be in it together etc. Public comments such as these can only cause division and strife within the clubhouse. The other players will most likely be forced to take a side. Energy will have to be wasted in an attempt to achieve unity again. They're the kind of statements that tear a group apart.

That applies to any workplace really.

The rift seems to have started during the Red Sox series when the Yankees swept a five game series with their arch-rivals. Rodriguez's performance was less than stellar and Mr. Giambi started to feel some concern for the well being of the $25,000,000 man. Giambi confronted him in the clubhouse:

J.G.:"We're all rooting for you and we're behind you 100 percent, but you've got to get the big hit."

ROD:"What do you mean? I've had five hits in Boston."

J.G.:"You freaking call those hits!?! You had two freaking dinkers to rightfield and a ball that bounced over the third baseman! Look at how many pitches you missed."

TELL IT LIKE IT IS SISTER!

But Mr. Rodriguez was not going to take this, in his mind, unwarranted criticism lying down. He had some things to say too and, of course, he decided that a national media outlet was the proper place to air his grievances. Here are a couple of gems from the A-Rod Book of Humility:

"I can't help that I'm a bright person, I know that's not a great quote to give, but I can't pretend to play dumb and stupid."

"Reggie (Jackson) hit .230 one year. That's awful. He struck out 170-something times in a year. I don't care who you are, extremes are just part of the game. I was awful (in Anaheim), but (Derek) Jeter was 0 for 32 [in 2004], Mo (Rivera) blew three games in one week. Everybody goes through it."

"(Mike) Mussina doesn't get hammered at all. He's making a boatload of money. Giambi's making $20.4 million, which is fine and dandy, but it seems those guys get a pass. When people write (bad things) about me, I don't know if it's (because) I'm good-looking, I'm bi-racial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team ... "

Yeah. That must be it.

As priceless as those quotes are, and a beautiful example of just how fucked up our values are, the comment that really caught my eye was from Giambi. The writer used it as a dramatic ending to an already blistering he said/she said report:

"Alex doesn't know who he is. We're going to find out who he is in the next couple of months."

Heavy shit, man. Heavy shit.

Unfortunately, we won't have to wait as long to find out who you are...

We already know.

Have another one...on me.

Can't you imagine Jeter crying in his beer right now?

Larry

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2006-09-11T00:30:00.000-04:00

At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.

Matthew 11:25
(KJV)

9/11/2006

This is a true anecdote.

I live with my mentally challenged sister. She is 32 years old. She can take care of herself, for the most part, but comprehension is not her strong suit. Simple thoughts and ideas that we take for granted, become complex problems in her mind. It is not that she is "stupid" it is just that she has a different way of processing information.

A perfect example of this would be her ability to tell you what day of the week you were born on if you give her your birthday or know exactly what day and date it was when she went to the dentist to get her wisdom teeth pulled...ten years ago. She equates everything with time. Measurable, finite, exact time. She is constantly looking at her watch for the hour to change. All the clocks in the house...VCRs, coffee makers, cable boxes, radios, etc... have to be synchronized. At times, this behavior can be disturbing. But there are other times, when she is telling me that she, "... went with daddy to see 'Stanley and Iris' with Robert DeNiro and Jane Fonda, on Sunday, February 11, 1990," it can be truly amazing.

But she also says things like:

"Mel Torme. Do you know a person by the name of Mel Torme? Is that a male or a female?"

"I got two BigMacs, a 20 piece Chicken McNuggets and a Super Sized Fries. That's it."

"Do you know Rudolph Giuliani? Was he Governor or President?"

"I don't mind you buying me dinner but..."

By reporting these statements, I am NOT trying to make fun of her. That is the last thing I want to do. There is nothing funny at all about my sister's lot in life. She was dealt a really shitty hand and she is playing it the best way she knows how. The only thing that keeps this a notch above tragedy is the fact that she is trying to understand. Her mantra is, "I'm just like everybody else."

No. The reason why I mention these quotes is preface.

Anyway, most of our "conversations" consist of her rambling and me nodding. These ramblings are an interesting mix of a stream of consciousness yet completely focussed on one specific subject. This subject is usually about some obscure incident that happened in school or some other social interaction either at the store or in our building. Rarely does it involve anything current. And rarer still if it is about anything that is universal or relatable. I would say 80 percent of the time these speeches are about places and events that happened at least 10 years ago.

Being that yesterday was the eve of the fifth anniversary of September 11th…and again she is uncanny with dates…she came into my room in the middle of the afternoon because she wanted to talk. What follows is close to verbatim, to the best of my memory.

"Do you know what tomorrow is? It is the fifth anniversary of the Twin Towers! Do you know what happened at the Twin Towers? That's right. You know. You were there right? That's how we found out. You called us and told Mommy. You called and told her...

(She started what she calls "a role play")

Mommy, Lawrence is on the phone SOMETHING HAPPENED AT THE TWIN TOWERS!'

What? - Hello… Oh, oh my Goodness.

(Then back to me)

They blew the Twin Towers up to start a war and all that, right? There still is a war now, right? In Iraq, right?

(She started talking to the cats, which she often does)

But don't worry guys. Where's Manny? Where's Meng? Oh there you are!

(She picked up Manny, the younger of the two, who sauntered out from under the bed)

Don't worry. I'm not trying to scare you. The war is in Iraq. We will be OK.

(Manny immediately meowed)

Oh OK. I'll put you down now.

(After a long pause, she started to talk to me again.)

You know, I'm curious about something. I have a question for you and maybe you could answer it. This may sound stupid but they blew up the Twin Towers because they wanted to start a war right? What do blowing up the Twin Towers have to do with Iraq anyway?"

Absolutely nothing.

Don't ever forget…
The pain...
The suffering...
The death...

…and whose watch it was on.
Larry

The War at Home

2006-08-30T13:22:00.000-04:00

Anyone who told you they weren't scared was either a fool or a liar.

Anonymous Combat Veteran

All Quiet on the Western Front

8/31/2006

I found this photograph on the website The Heritage of the Great War. The site features a wide variety of period pictures, stories and information pertaining to World War I. Check it out if you have an interest.

This particular image looks like it was taken from the German lines in France or Flanders circa 1917/1918. It seems to be of a German flame-thrower team in the middle of "No Man’s Land" confronting an approaching tank. The top of the vehicle is barely visible through the thick black smoke.

WW I tanks were slow, lumbering machines that were notorious for suffering mechanical breakdowns. But, if they reached the enemy trenches, they could also be quite effective. The damage they would inflict was not just physical, such as flattening barbed wire and machine gun bunkers, but also psychological. When the first tanks appeared on the Somme in September of 1916, many Germans troops fled in terror, having never before seen, much less having any idea how to stop, these "mechanical beasts."

But, as human beings always do, the Germans started to improvise. After their trial and error, one of the more accepted ways of "taking them out" was the use of the newly invented flame-thrower. My guess is their goal was to heat the tank up so much that either the engine would break down or the crew would be burned out and have to abandon ship. The above picture looks like it captures this action pretty clearly.

This is a powerful photograph.

Besides from the obvious stunning "You are there" feel to it, it also made me think of the human element:

Three men in the middle of a moonscape, completely devoid of cover.

Toe to toe with a hulking piece of steel that is coming to kill them.

Huddled body to body in tandem, behind a tube that spews fire because it is the only thing keeping them alive.

The idea of death is no longer conjecture to these guys. In fact, it is quite probable.

Can you imagine the unbelievable bond that is formed at that moment?

And there is no possible way they could share their thoughts about that moment in time, possibly the defining moments of their lives, with anyone else accept those two other men.

It is said that battle brings out the very worst and the very best in Mankind:

The worst is obvious. The pointless death, pain, disfigurement and terror all meted out by inhuman steel.

The best is the camaraderie. These three men, out of their fear and/or determination, are mustering up the strength and will to fulfill an age-old Human quest to overcome. And, more importantly, they are going to survive or perish together.

Now some will argue that the root of most, if not all, wars is government or corporate greed. I pretty much agree. But the reason why War, with a capital W, does not go away entirely and is not only tolerated but embraced with fervor is a lot more subtle than that.

That fear and the desire for self-preservation are in abundance in the trenches there is little doubt. The fear is overcome because of several different factors such as training, duty and discipline. The instinct for survival is built into all of us and needs little coaxing. I have heard several veterans say point blank, “When the guy next to you got it, you were happy that it wasn’t you.”

But an interesting thing happens in the heat of battle. Either out of loyalty or necessity or...dare I say...love, this “self-preservation” morphs into “group-preservation.” In this case, a three man flame-thrower team in the middle of a man-made apocalypse, stick together to stay alive.

The feelings these three men are having can not be described in a conventional societal way. The emotions must be amplified so intensely it is as if they are waves of light beyond our visual spectrum. They are unattainable.

That is, unattainable to everyone except them. It was a shared experience of the highest order. At that moment in time, no matter how noble or base any of their individual motives were, there will be an unspoken bond between them. Probably until the day they die.

And that feeling, the aftermath of the experience, is what is envied and coveted by a great many people. Usually people whom never actually been in The Crucible. Whom never seen the shelling. Or smelled the death. People whom view war as some sort of an adventure never understanding what high price is paid for this glory. As Remarque wrote:

...and least of all an adventure because death is not an adventure for those who have come face to face with it.

The shame of it all is that it takes human beings the extreme conditions of any number of nightmarish “No Man’s Lands” around the world to realize the simple truth that if We are to move forward, we have to work together.

The irony is that the “working together” part is not only the only means to a satisfactory end to the human experience but is, in itself, a source of great joy and contentment which, in their hearts, is what everybody is searching for in the first place.

Larry

Pop Goes the Weasel

2006-08-28T22:06:00.000-04:00

To widen the market and to narrow the competition is always the interest of the dealers.

Adam Smith (1723 - 1790)

The Wealth of Nations
Book I Chapter XI

8/29/2006

I am currently reading a book aptly titled Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain. The book tells the story of the Punk Era through a series of interviews with the performers, managers, producers, roadies and fans who were actually there. The portrait that is painted is both depraved and beautiful, and since it is a testimonial, wildly subjective…which makes it a must read if you have any interest in the history of Rock and Roll. I don’t really want to get into the whole thing right now because my thoughts and comments on the over 400 pages of direct quotes probably deserves a post of its own. Let me just say that I think it is really good.

The only reason why I mention it is because I was tad surprised, if that’s the right word, to find out how central a figure Iggy Pop was to that whole scene. I, of course, have heard of him before but I only really knew two of his songs off the top of my head, “Lust for Life” which was in Trainspotting and “Candy” a duet with Kate Pierson of the B52s in the 1980s which was well after the time period in question. (I also was aware he wrote “China Girl” which was a smash hit for David Bowie in 1983) I also knew that he was pretty much a junkie and he would roll around on glass. Other than that, I didn’t know much about him.

Oh yeah. I also remember seeing a porno magazine back in the day (Maybe Playboy or Penthouse) which had a black and white photo of him standing on a stage singing into a mike with his draws down and some fan’s hand reaching up out of the crowd and grabbing his cock.

Anyway, in the book, several of “the witnesses” continuously refer to the Iggy and the Stooges album Raw Power (1973) as an extremely important disc for both its intensity and its influence. As I turned the pages, and the more this LP was mentioned, the more embarrassed I became because I never even heard of it. So the other day at lunch, I decided to take a trip down to the local CD shop and pick up a copy, if anything, just to see what the hell these people all went ga-ga over.

Unfortunately, J&R didn’t have it. They had a bunch of other Iggy Pop CDs so I decided to pick one and give it a try. As I scanned the titles, I became apprehensive. I wanted to buy a record from the early seventies and a lot of the cases had copyrights in the 1990s and, at this point, I didn’t want anything, relatively, newer. Since I had no idea about his discography except for that one album name I decided to play it safe and get some kind of compilation because I wasn’t going to leave there empty-handed.

At that point I found one called “Iggy Pop – The Hits.” Confusing, because I didn’t think he had any, so I took a quick look at the songs and didn’t recognize a one except for “Lust for Life.” The price was seven bucks so I figured I had nothing to lose and bought it. Besides I thought the cover looked pretty cool:

The Front Cover

So I get back to my cube and break open the goodies. Since I was interested in the recording and release dates of each individual song and what albums they originally appeared, I immediately turned to the liner notes. Most compilations have that information. But as soon as I opened the case a card falls out, obviously an advertisement from the manufacturer which, in this case, is BMG. It is one of those, “since you bought this maybe you would like to buy these other things we’re selling,” type of come-ons. I was just about to throw it in the trash when something on it caught my eye:

Homogeneous Society

Then I turn this flimsy little card over and I see that there is more...

"Coming Soon...Dolly Parton"
Ridiculous

Rick Astley? Rick Springfield? Evelyn “Champagne” King?

Ace of fucking Base?

Is BMG kidding? Do they think anyone buying an Iggy Pop record would be remotely interested in purchasing a “greatest hits” collection from any of these “artists”? Who knows, maybe someone would, diversity is a good thing. But, in a larger sense, the two types of music seem to me completely incompatible.

Now I am not defending Iggy because, as I mentioned before, I don’t really know much of his music. I did listen to the album and thought there were some good things on it. The one thing that did come through in my preliminary listening was the passion. The songs sound like there is an attempt to express something. They do not feel contrived. So I will definitely buy Raw Power to further clarify my thoughts on the subject. In other words, the jury is still out.

The same can not be said about Henry Mancini or Neil Sedaka. Now, you may like “Theme from Peter Gunn” or “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” but, really, we are talking about two completely different experiences and, I find, if you are happy with the one type, for the most part, you are totally turned off by the other.

The Back Cover
"I saw the sign..."

At my place of employment we are allowed headphones so it gives me a chance to play CDs all day. I remember one time listening to the original Broadway cast recording of Evita (1979) followed directly by Lou Reed’s Transformer (1972). One was perfectly fine. It had catchy tunes, bouncy at times, dramatic at others. But the other one was actually moving.

Interested by my emotional reactions to these discs, I turned to my partner in filing and made, what I thought, was a very interesting observation:

Me: You know, Mandy Patinkin (Che) has a really great technical voice. He can hit all the notes in any range, any tone, any octave and seems to have total control of his voice. Lou Reed, on the other hand, has extremely limited vocal ability yet is one thousand times more effective.

Him: Hey, that’s not fair. You’re comparing apples and oranges.

Me: Yeah, I know. But it’s just that I find the oranges so much more satisfying.

I would put Steve Perry from Journey in the Patinkin category as well.

And before you say “lighten up” or anything in that vein, I want to set you straight pal. I’m going to give you a piece of my mind right now. All I’m going to say is…

Woh...wait a damn second! Hold the phone!

Sorry...I got to go.

Dan Fogelberg just came on my radio.

"Longer than...
There've been fishes in the ocean"

Make war no more.
Larry

Is There a Doctor in the House?

2006-08-17T09:58:00.000-04:00

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

from Animal Farm (1946)

8/17/2006

Let me describe a situation I found myself in the other day:

Elevator doors open into a shabby vestibule. The unfriendly, life-weary face behind the counter asks me…no…tells me to take a seat. I look around and out of the twelve or so beige felt chairs that litter the area the only one available is under a tactless water color of some sort of sail boat whose stunning banality is only made bearable when I compare it to the truly dismal selection of pedestrian magazine titles neatly stacked in the brown Formica wooden rack next to my armrest.

I scan the faces of the other people sitting all around me. It was an interesting group. The majority of the bunch was shabbily dressed, unkempt, white men in their thirties. Men whose faces betrayed a complete lack of direction, cognizance or even interest. Men who were waiting to be told what to do and offer little resistance to the contrary. In other words, losers in that game called life.

But in between these emaciated glassy eyed zombies sat three young guys…they couldn’t have been more than 24…in obvious navy blue suits. Their laptops, freshly quaffed hair, cellular phones and ceaseless fidgeting were a statement. They were telling the world that they were not “one of them.” They were climbing the corporate ladder and one day would be on top of the world. Their energetic grins projected their misguided, self-appointed status of “Master of the Universe.”

After several minutes of observing the wanting, an authoritative figure comes marching out of a back room. I immediately tell he is in charge because of the surrendering desperation reaction of the serfs and the cloying deference of the jesters. This man obviously has what they all need, and every one in the room will do whatever it takes to get their “fix.”

No, I am not describing my sojourn to a “shooting gallery” under the Williamsburg Bridge. This was my latest visit to my Doctor’s office. And the man with the power was the doctor.

As soon as the doctor came out into the waiting area, he was swarmed by one of the suited guys who introduced himself as a drug pusher…I mean Pharmaceutical Sales Rep…and starts handing the doctor free samples. I believe his drug of choice that day was Propecia which is the latest stop-balding-vanity-pill that will answer all our problems. With the small boxes of drugs this pimp’s apprentice was also handing out “Money Back Guarantee” brochures explaining the wonders of Propecia for the doctor to give to patients. The brochures were in one of those little merchant display cardboard sleeves you would see in a bank with things like “Ask me about a low interest loan” written on it. I guess it is supposed to be displayed on the desk so it would be visible to patients during consultations.

Now let’s forget about the whole Willy Loman/Shelly “The Machine” Levine aspects of these sales people who at such a young age have tragically chosen a career path that will inevitably lead to disillusionment and disappointment. They are going to have to learn that for themselves.

Rather I want to focus on their function…that is to advocate, facilitate and expedite the use of narcotics with the result being the junkified vacant stares of all the other poor bastards sitting in that room.

Since when did doctors become salesman? I mean shouldn’t a physician’s decision on “writing script” be based solely on medical conditions and not sale promotions?

I admit Propecia sounds relatively harmless, aimed at middle aged men scared that they might actually die some day, but just for laughs I checked the Propecia Website and I found this little tidbit:

In clinical studies for PROPECIA, a small number of men experienced certain sexual side effects, such as less desire for sex, difficulty in achieving an erection, or a decrease in the amount of semen. Each of these side effects occurred in less than 2% of men and went away in men who stopped taking PROPECIA because of them.

Two percent? Not bad…AND their banging ability came back directly after they stopped using the drug. Sounds good but then I read this:

Women who are or may potentially be pregnant must not use PROPECIA and should not handle crushed or broken PROPECIA tablets because the active ingredient may cause abnormalities of a male baby’s sex organs. If a woman who is pregnant comes into contact with the active ingredient in PROPECIA, a doctor should be consulted. PROPECIA tablets are coated and will prevent contact with the active ingredient during normal handling, provided that the tablets are not broken or crushed.

Did I read that correctly, if a (even potentially) Pregnant Woman so much as touches the active ingredient, her unborn son loses his cock? That seems like a high price to pay just so her beau in a mid-life crisis can feel young again. Oh well, it’s probably worth it.

Besides, the baby might be ballless but I bet he would come out with a mane like young Elvis!

Now I admit that these two disclosures are nothing compared to some other drugs laundry list of “possible” side effects as they cure whatever it is you’re taking it for. (“Cotton Mouth,” “Sleep Deprivation,” “You will shit in your draws,” etc.) But still it strikes me as a completely unnecessary remedy to a “problem” that is actually just a natural part of life.

On the subject of hair loss, which advice is really in the best interest of the patient or, as he is being referred to more and more these days, the customer…

”Look, I know it is not the greatest thing in the world but you are getting older, and no magic pill is going to change that. But just because you are getting older and your hair is thinning doesn’t mean you’re dead! You are still the same person you were. You can still do all the things you want to do. You can still be happy.”

or

“Take this pill. You might get some hair back...but you might lose your penis.”

…and which one is in the best interest of Pfizer, Genentech or Dow?

Again, that’s just Propecia, the only pill I overheard being pushed. Who the hell knows what the other two were selling. OxyContin? Vicodin? Valium? Crack Rock?

Whatever it was, I am sure they will find a buyer.

Keep it Real
Larry

Wikipedia is Whack

2006-08-08T20:05:00.000-04:00

8/8/2006

On The Colbert Report (Comedy Central – 11:30 PM) the other day, Colbert did a little bit on Wikipedia. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Wikipedia is a web site that is set up like a reference encyclopedia that has varied entries about pretty much anything. All you do is type in a person, place or thing and an article pops up giving you all the info and “facts” that you need.

I put that words in quotes because, evidently, the text of these various posts can be edited by anyone with internet access. All someone has to do is log in (I think) and change anything they want. The danger, of course, is that, very quickly, rumor can become fact.

So Colbert suggested that we should type in the fact that "the elephant population in Africa has tripled in the last ten years" making the conservationists cries and pleas ridiculous. His theory being that if you keep this obvious fabrication up on the site long enough, the information would eventually become "common knowledge."

I think Colbert's punchline was "creating a world of democratized knowledge."

I think his idea is brilliant. But instead of fucking with important things…like saving the elephants…why don't we do something that would be more inconsequential. Something subtle enough that might go unchallenged for a long time so kids everywhere in twenty years will be learning about it as if it were really true.

I thought about this long and hard for several days. I used all my intellectual guile, spending hours studying the charts, color coded maps and pie graphs that I constructed for this very purpose, but still, nothing really came to me. Then, as proof of the old adage, "a watched pot never boils," I turned on the radio and there it was.

What we could do is find any Wikipedia entry, about anything really, find an appropriate place and insert the four words

"an uncredited Phil Collins."

Let's see if it works!

How about gangsta rap...

Snoop Dogg

Snoop produced a pornographic film called Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle with Hustler magazine in 2001, where he combines hip hop music with X-rated material. From then on, many films of the genre followed, and finally ended up with founding the Snoopadelic Films company in 2005 with an uncredited Phil Collins.

"Fo' shizzle, my nizzle"

...or speed metal...

Megadeth

Megadeth is an American speed/heavy/thrash metal band led by Dave Mustaine. The group was formed in 1983, disbanded in 2002, and reformed in 2004 with an uncredited Phil Collins.

...or film...

Star Wars

Star Wars is a science fantasy saga and fictional universe created by writer/producer/director George Lucas with an uncredited Phil Collins during the 1970s.

...and comic books.

DareDevil

Although Daredevil had been home to the work of many comic-book legends — Jack Kirby, Wally Wood, John Romita Sr. and an uncredited Phil Collins, among others — it was not until Frank Miller's entrance on the title in the late 1970s that Daredevil was regarded as either popular or influential.

Hell. Why not structural engineering?

The Verrazano Narrows Bridge

The bridge was designed by Chief engineer Othmar Ammann, who also designed most of the other major crossings of New York City , including the George Washington Bridge, the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge, the Triborough Bridge and the Throgs Neck Bridge with an uncredited Phil Collins.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE !!!

Larry

I OWN MALIBU !!!

2006-08-01T13:18:00.000-04:00

The front page of today's NY Post

8/1/2006

I promised myself that I would not blog on this subject because, quite frankly, it is too easy. Besides, I wrote an extensive post on Mel awhile back (The Passion of the Patriot) so what was the point? But then I saw the above pictured front page and I just couldn’t resist. The situation is just too ridiculous for words.

What we have here is a major Hollywood star who has recently been dogged by accusations of anti-semitism…charges he vehemently denied…while getting busted for drunk driving going on an out-of-control tirade which included chestnuts such as:

To a Jewish Police Officer…

“Fucking Jews! Jews are responsible for all the wars in this world. Are you a Jew?”

To a female Police Officer…

“What are you looking at…Sugar Tits?”

To everybody…

“I’m going to fuck you. You’re going to regret you ever did this to me. I own Malibu.”

Couple this outrageous dialogue with the photo of Gibson draped over two young blondes, obviously tanked, and I am able to paint a very distinct mental image of what happened on Friday night/Saturday morning at 2:30 AM. That is when Mel decided to get all liquored up and drive 85 in a 45 MPH zone.

Let’s face it…this is fucking hilarious.

But as I continued reading…and laughing…I came across this picture:

It’s Gibson’s mug shot obtained by The Smoking Gun. Something about it kind of gets me down. He looks terrible and not in that Nick Nolte wild way but more of just a sad aged way. This is not the “Martin Briggs” Mel of Lethal Weapon but more of just a thinning hair clown who probably has some serious problems...both mental and physical.

The front page doesn’t feel as funny to me any more.

This is a man who grew up in a strict household run by a notorious “Holocaust Denier,” a belief whose practice of is far beyond my meager comprehension that I will not pretend to understand it. I am sure the impressionable pre-teen Mel heard the expression “This country is run on Jew money” many times at the dinner table. Then as a man in Hollywood, I am sure he was double-crossed and screwed by some Jewish “studio suit” or two over his 30 plus year career, which just reinforced his opinion about “them.” And now, obviously disillusioned about the pot of gold he has been chasing his whole life, in the throes of alcoholism, he is more and more becoming his father.

Even if you don’t agree with that ludicrously over simplified life arc I provided one thing is abundantly clear: He does not like himself very much.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending his point of view. It is one that has been used for the last thousand years by village elders, town criers and national governments whenever blame needs to be averted from the actual source. And this belief in “The Eternal Jew” has led to some of the most despicable behavior mankind has ever exhibited be it the rape and murders of the never-ending Russian Pogroms, the grotesque sadistic torture of the Spanish Inquisition or the unspeakable acts of the Holocaust...all of which was state/church sanctioned

So I don’t let Gibson off the hook for his more and more apparent embracing of an ideology that will lead us yet again to human depravity. But at this point, he looks like a man who needs some serious help and I never liked kicking a guy when he is down.

If I did, I would be a Republican.

But the bigger question this whole episode raises is this: Why is “scapegoating” (a practice that dates back to Biblical times) so widely embraced on the personal level by so many? Is our own reality so hard to face that we can’t exist without a shadowy bogeyman? Is the horror you find within so unbearable that you need something without to explain the pain? Isn’t this philosophy of hate just a never-ending mantra of “If only...If only?”

When I think that there are people in this country...or on this planet for that matter...who are actually convinced that there is a Jewish conspiracy that is “keeping us down,” depression doesn’t half describe how I feel.

Larry

An Open Letter to the Future

2006-07-23T08:15:00.000-04:00

170 Broadway - NYC
September 24, 2001

On the first day of the Battle of Shiloh, Confederate forces routed the Union troops, driving them from the field in complete disarray, leaving the bulk of the Federals clinging to makeshift trenches and redoubts with their backs pressed against the river.

That night, subordinate Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman found commanding Gen. Ulysses S Grant sitting under a tree:

Sherman: Well, Grant, we’ve had the devil’s own day, haven’t we?

Grant: Yes… Lick ‘em tomorrow, though.

7/23/2006

Open Letter to the Future

I am writing this to let you know that in the year 2006, we were not all shallow phonies, empty headed materialists, superstitious fearful fools, mean ignorant hateful bullies, vain little insecure beings whose only pleasure comes from others pain and suffering.

No.

Some of us know:

That the sensation of love is far superior to the bitterness of hate.

That the expression of the spirit through art is far more important than the expression of the human shrillness through possession.

That curiosity and inquisitiveness should be honored and cherished and not ridiculed and crushed.

That the true goal of Our being here, Our lives, Our entire existence, is to raise the quality of thought and condition for ALL and not for an arbitrary few who were born at the right place at the right time.

I have no idea what kind of world you live in.

I have no idea what philosophies are being embraced by the masses.

All I know is if you feel infinity for any of the above mentioned sentiments, you were not alone.

And I know you are not alone in your time as well.

Yours Truly,
Lawrence W Blanchard

Straight...No Chaser

2006-07-21T16:07:00.000-04:00

KURTZ: Are you an assassin?

WILLARD: I'm a soldier.

KURTZ: You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.

from Apocalypse Now (1979)

7/21/06

I’ll be brief.

I just checked my balance on my Chase “ultra rewards” Master Card and found out I was $94 over my credit limit. I don’t really remember using that particular card recently so I decided to choose the “Most Recent Transactions” option on the automated touchtone menu these masters of customer service offer. Three times the inhuman computerized female voice said there was an “internal debit” of 30 some odd dollars charged to my account.

Since I really had no idea what that meant…well that is not entirely true, I figured it meant I was getting screwed…I immediately pressed the “speak to an associate” phone digit which, of course, was zero. Someone in a surprisingly clear unaccented voice came on almost immediately…again surprisingly…and identified herself as Patricia.

This is what followed:

Just what exactly are these charges called internal debits?

Those are our fees and interests.

But can you explain them…EXACTLY?

Sure. The first one...for $14.82...is the interest on your purchases. The second one for...$36.13...is the interest on your cash advances and the third one is an overlimit fee of $39 because your balance went over your credit limit.

How did I go over the limit?

The interest charges put you over the limit.

So, you are telling me that you charged me about $50 in monthly interest which put me over the limit. THEN you charged me an overlimit fee that basically doubled the amount. So Chase is hosing me. THAT is what you are telling me...right?

Yes.

Out of curiosity, what is my interest rate right now?

You are right now at a variable rate which is currently 29.2%.

No comment. No editorializing. I am too pissed.

To put it simply, if you can not see the borderline criminality in this situation then there is nothing else I can say.

Larry B

The Art of the Con

2006-07-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

7/14/2006

INT. – Boardroom of the Bailey Brothers Building & Loan

In the aftermath of the death of the corporation’s founder PETER BAILEY, members of the board are meeting to decide if they should dissolve the institution or not.

MR. POTTER:

Peter Bailey was not a business man. That's what killed him. Oh, I don't mean any disrespect to him, God rest his soul. He was a man of high ideals, so-called. But ideals without common sense can ruin this town. Now, you take this loan here to Ernie Bishop. You know, that fellow that sits around all day on his brains in his taxi. I happen to know the bank turned down this loan, but he comes here and we're building him a house worth five thousand dollars. Why?

GEORGE BAILEY:

Well, I handled that, Mr. Potter. You have all the papers there. His salary, insurance. I can personally vouch for his character.

MR. POTTER:

A friend of yours?

GEORGE BAILEY:

Yes, sir.

MR. POTTER:

You see, if you shoot pool with some employee here, you can come and borrow money. What does that get us? A discontented, lazy rabble instead of a thrifty working class. And all because a few starry-eyed dreamers like Peter Bailey stir them up and fill their heads with a lot of impossible ideas.

GEORGE BAILEY:

Now just a minute. Hold on, Mr. Potter. You're right when you say my father was no business man. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap penny-ante Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character, because his whole life was...Why, in the twenty-five years since he and Uncle Billy started this thing, he never once thought of himself. Isn't that right, Uncle Billy? He didn't save enough money to send Harry to school, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter. And what's wrong with that? Why...here, you are all businessmen here. Doesn't it make them better citizens? Doesn't it make them better customers? You...you said that uh...what'd you say just a minute ago? They, they had to wait and save their money before they even thought of a decent home. Wait! Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they're so old and broken-down that they...Do you know how long it takes a working man to save five thousand dollars? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about...they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him, but to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. Well, in my book, he died a much richer man than you'll ever be.

MR. POTTER:

I'm not interested in your book. I'm talking about the Building and Loan.

GEORGE BAILEY:

I know very well what you're talking about. You're talking about something you can't get your fingers on, and it's galling you. That's what you're talking about, I know. Well, I…I…I've said too much. I... You're, you're the Board here. You do what you want with this thing. There's just one thing more though. This town needs this measly one-horse institution if only to have some place where they can come without crawling to Potter.

from It's A Wonderful Life (1946)

Isn’t it amazing that an educated “civilized” society can have the shared annual experience of watching the same wonderful movie every year, embrace that film as the ultimate “family experience” and yet have absolutely no clue about what it means or what it is trying to say?

Although it is not Christmas, this speech came to my mind today because I just received my monthly Con Ed bill. My monthly tab was practically double: $86.99 became $170.45. For those of you not in the New York area, Consolidated Edison is the local electricity pimp.

Since it has been beastly hot in the city as of late, I have been running the air conditioner so I suspected that the bill would be somewhat higher...BUT DOUBLE!!! Wait a minute. Let me get my glasses and read that bill again. Let's see...

MARY MOTHER OF GOD...
ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY DOLLARS!!!!

OK. Keep in mind that this bill was not for some huge Mansion with a white picket fence and a Lawn Jockey set out front. Nor was it even for a moderately sized house with the abandoned '85 Dodge Charger out front.

No. My dwelling is one cut above a small flophouse. The kind of place where you can find an igloo cooler in the corner to "keep perishables" and a baseball bat by the night stand to ward off intruders. And at consistent intervals, somewhere off in the distance, the siren of an ambulance or a squad car cuts through the stifling hot summer air...

OK, I am exaggerating, but you get the point. I live in an undignified apartment which should not cost 170 some odd dollars to keep at a barely tolerable temperature.

The situation is, simply put, outrageous and I for one am not going to take this Bullshit anymore!!! In fact, I am so pissed off right now I just decided that starting tomorrow I am going to take my business across the street.

That's where Luigi the Candle Maker and Hand-Fan Artisan has a store.

And one last thing...

The next time you see some greasy politician or pundit on the TV making some kind of speech or laying down some diatribe about this or that, don't immediately turn them off like you normally would do. Go off the beaten path and actually listen for awhile. Watch their body language. Pay attention to their carefully rehearsed voice inflections . And most importantly, carefully consider their intense and overly dramatic facial expressions.

Now, after you have taken that dismal trip into the cesspool of double talk and gobbley-gook which passes for "populism" these days, ask yourself if you agree with my observation:

Although these clowns try their hardest to ape the passion, spirit and righteousness of the George Bailey character, in reality, the plans, the policies and the positions they advocate are actually much more in tune with the shrill, soulless, hateful world view of Mr. Potter.

Just one man's opinion on this Bastille Day...
A day which commemorates a true social revolution.
Larry

Kenny Boy, the pipes, the pipes...

2006-07-08T00:42:00.000-04:00

7/6/2006

As you must know by now, Ken Lay, the man facing hard time for being the chief architect of one of the most devastating corporate malfeasance scandals in human history, has died. Before I make any comments and in the spirit of fairness, I am reprinting the entire obituary which ran in The New York Times the other day. It is rather lengthy and, more importantly, dull and boring, so feel free to "skim" through it if you like.

Here it is…I'll see you on the other side!

Kenneth L. Lay, 64, Enron Founder and Symbol of Corporate Excess, Dies

Kenneth L. Lay, the son of a Baptist preacher in rural Missouri who rose to the pinnacle of corporate America as head of Enron before becoming a symbol of corporate excess, died yesterday in Aspen, Colo. He was 64.

The cause of death was coronary artery disease, a forensic pathologist who performed the autopsy, Dr. Rob Kurtzman, told reporters yesterday in Grand Junction, Colo.

Mr. Lay's sudden death — family and friends say he did not have a history of heart disease — came six weeks after he was convicted of 10 charges of conspiracy, fraud and lying to banks and almost four months before he was to be sentenced for those crimes. He faced years in prison.

As the chief executive of Houston Natural Gas in 1985, Mr. Lay helped engineer the company's merger with InterNorth of Omaha; the combined company would be named the Enron Corporation a year later. Enron went on to become the nation's seventh-largest company, pioneering and dominating the trading of natural gas and electricity. But in December 2001, the company collapsed amid accounting scandals.

Kenneth Lee Lay was born in April 15, 1942, in Tyrone, Mo., the second of three children of Omer and Ruth Lay. His family moved frequently during his childhood as his father, a lay preacher, tried to establish himself in various trades and business ventures.

When Mr. Lay was 6, the family's fledging chicken business was wiped out when a large shipment of birds was killed in a truck accident. He learned the value of money early, supplementing the family's meager income by delivering newspapers, cutting grass and baling hay.

Those childhood lessons would be reinforced when he studied economics under the tutelage of Pinkney Walker, an economics professor at the University of Missouri who became his mentor.

In the late 1960's, Mr. Lay landed his first real job, with the Houston-based Humble Oil and Refining, later part of Exxon. As one executive responsible for setting up Humble Oil's corporate development department, Mr. Lay received what seemed a princely salary of $13,000 a year. It was around this time that he married his college girlfriend, Judith Ayers. They had two children.

While working at Humble, Mr. Lay began to pursue a doctorate in night school at the University of Houston. Then, with the draft board back in Missouri eager to get hold of him, Mr. Lay applied to the Navy's officer candidate school in Rhode Island and was accepted, heading out in January 1968. That led to his first experience in Washington; after officers' school, he was assigned to the Pentagon as an economist.

When his time in the military was up, Mr. Lay was preparing to return to the corporate world when he heard from Mr. Walker, who had been named by President Richard M. Nixon to the Federal Power Commission. Mr. Walker persuaded his star student to join him as his technical assistant.

After Washington, Mr. Lay did return to the business world, leaving for a job at the Florida Gas Corporation. His next big break came in 1981, when he moved to Houston, a city that would remain his home for decades to come. There, he joined a larger pipeline company, Transco, as president and chief operating officer.

The 1980's was a decade of crucial developments in Mr. Lay's life. It was then that he would marry his second wife, create Enron and forge ties to political leaders. In 1981, as his first marriage was failing, he followed a former boss to Transco, a pipeline company in Houston. He later married Linda Phillips Herrold, who had once been his secretary at Florida Gas.

When Mr. Lay was at Transco, many of the pipeline industry's financial contracts at the time were built on a faith that oil prices would continue rising; the arrangements required the companies to buy a set percentage of a gas well's production, at preset, ever-increasing rates.

But when oil prices fell in the early 80's, the cost of gas dropped, too, leaving the pipeline companies on the hook for buying fuel at excessive prices. The problem hit Transco hard. So Mr. Lay corralled a group of Transco analysts, and urged them to play around with a new idea: setting up a spot market for gas, which would allow producers to sell the gas directly to customers — taking the pipeline operators and distributors out of the middle.

The idea was a rollicking success and alleviated Transco's financial bind. Mr. Lay emerged as something of a legend in the industry, a man who had transformed near certain disaster into a new business. Plenty of other companies sat up and took notice.

By May 1984, Mr. Lay was approached by a smaller rival, Houston Natural Gas, or H.N.G., about taking over the company as chairman and chief executive. He took the job, assuming the helm of a major corporation for the first time at the age of 42.

In less than a year, H.N.G. was on the path to becoming Enron. Internorth, an Omaha energy company, was fighting off a corporate takeover and, as a defensive maneuver, approached Mr. Lay about merging the two companies. Mr. Lay was intrigued, and on May 2, 1985, the merger of the two companies was announced. The merged company became loaded down with high-interest debt, used to finance the deal.

By 1986, after some internal struggles, Mr. Lay was fully in charge of the company, which by then had been rechristened Enron.

At Enron, Mr. Lay recruited Jeffrey K. Skilling, a McKinsey & Company consultant, in 1988 and the two began moving it away from its staid pipeline business and pushed it deeper into trading, first in natural gas and later in electricity.

As he moved up the ranks of Houston's business elite, Mr. Lay also made connections in the city's deep political pool. He would establish a close relationship with Vice President George H. W. Bush, making large campaign contributions and heading critical committees. He was co-chairman of Mr. Bush's 1992 re-election committee and the chairman of the Republican National Convention held in Houston that year.

His relationship with the Bush family was solidified in July 1990, when Mr. Lay helped to orchestrate the World Economic Summit in Houston at the request of the first President Bush. What had seemed to be an organizational mess before Mr. Lay stepped in proved to be an international showcase.

Mr. Lay continued his close contact with Washington — remaining close friends with Mr. Bush, later golfing with President Bill Clinton, and eventually establishing a close relationship with George W. Bush, while he was the governor of Texas.

When the younger Mr. Bush set off on his quest to win the 2000 presidential election, Mr. Lay served as a major player, playing host at big fund-raisers and contributing plenty of his own money to the effort. After Mr. Bush won the election, Mr. Lay was considered for the job of Treasury secretary, but was passed over.

Still, there was no disguising his close relationship to the Bush family; at the inauguration, the first President Bush and his wife flew to Washington with Mr. Lay on an Enron corporate plane. Mr. Lay's survivors, all of Houston, include his wife, Linda; a son, Mark; a daughter, Elizabeth Vittor; and three stepchildren, Robyn Lay, Beau Herrold and David Herrold.

People who found themselves on the other side of Mr. Lay's goals and ambitions found him determined, strong-willed and effective. Curtis L. Hébert Jr., the chairman of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, frequently disagreed with Mr. Lay on how much and how quickly the nation should deregulate electricity markets.

Neither convinced the other, but Mr. Lay did not have to. His Republican colleagues frequently outvoted Mr. Hébert.

"Ken Lay was a charming fellow and always presented himself as such, even though we didn't agree," Mr. Hebert said. "I think that was part of his success."

It was, perhaps, also part of his eventual failure.

Bill Burton, a Texas lawyer who had known Mr. Lay for more than 10 years, compared Mr. Lay to Icarus, the figure in Greek mythology who was given wings made of feather and wax but fell into the sea when he flew too close to the sun.

"The Enron and Ken Lay stories are best told in an English literature class, or a classics class," Mr. Burton told an interviewer in 2002, "where you are trying to explain what hubris is all about."

By Vikas Bajaj and Kurt Eichenwald

OK. OK. You caught me. I did add the pictures, but the text is untouched and in tact. Just check the The New York Times link if you don't believe me.

After you are done verifying the prose, ask yourself this question: Do my visual aids make a point?

Totally dissatisfied with The Times, and all the other articles I saw in other various newspapers and periodicals, I decided to pen Kenny-Boy's epitaph myself…and it goes something like this:

Kenneth L. Lay, 64, Piece of Fecal Matter, Enron Founder and Symbol of Everything Wrong with Our Society, Dies

Kenneth L. Lay, died yesterday of a supposed artery disease in Aspen, Colorado according to some quack on the administration's payroll. He was 64.

Born the son of a Baptist preacher in rural Missouri on April 15, 1942, the second of three children of Omer and Ruth Lay, Mr. Lay had completely turned his back on Christ, God and the Holy Church at a very young age.

Kenneth Lee Lay learned the value of money early, supplementing the family's meager income by delivering newspapers, committing arson-for-hire, cutting grass, running numbers for the local syndicate and baling hay.

At the age of 14, he joined the Boy Scouts and thought up his first Ponzi scheme. In a grotesque distortion of free market economics, Lay fleeced his whole troop out of their allowances and lunch money by convincing them of the economic soundness of his plan which he called "The Airplane Game."

At the age of 16 Mr. Lay killed his first man.

By 18, Mr. Lay was able to leave home and establish himself with the money he "earned" from his involvement in what local authorities would later call "The great St. Louie horse doping scam of 1950."

At 25, Mr. Lay discovered that he enjoyed kicking small dogs, specifically cocker spaniels. In one of his last interviews, he stated that he found "…the sounds of cute and cuddly little animals painfully yelping completely intoxicating."

In his 30s and 40s, Mr. Lay spent most of his time, snorting cocaine, drinking hard liquor and banging whores. He would later describe this period as, "the happiest time of my life."

Lay worked for, and ran, many companies between 1970 and 2001 making a lot of money…a whole lot of money…as he defecated on the ordinary consumer. Co-workers and acquaintances at these firms nick-named him "Mr. Excretion" because of the sheer joy he would express every time he lined his pockets with cash as a direct result of his urination on the unsuspecting public who just naturally assumed that a big businessman was acting in their best interest.

But the crowning achievement of Mr. Lay's sadistic life was undeniably the spectacular hosing he gave his own loyal employees at Enron.

There Mr. Lay, and a gaggle of executive shit heads who all sold their souls to the devil many years earlier, extensively cooked the books so that Enron, essentially a teetering house of cards, appeared stable to the common workers. These basically middle class people were then encouraged, if not out right forced, to invest their retirement plan funds back into the company. As their underlings bought, Lay and friends not being stupid men, sold the de facto worthless stock clearing hundreds of millions of dollars for themselves. When the rubber band finally stretched to tight and broke, the work force was left holding the bag.

One night, thousands of Enronites went to bed financially secure with a twinkle in their eye and woke up the next morning with absolutely nothing in their pockets and dreading the future.

Mr. Lay would say afterwards that the American public should thank him because he created a whole new demographic: Formally secure middle aged people who would now have to spend their golden years washing toilets and praying to Christ for next month's rent money.

He is survived by two jackals, three vultures and a hyena.

Now that's what I call an accurate and factual portrayal!

Now, before you get your draws stuck all up in the crack of your ass, I know I made up about 90 percent of the events depicted in my version. And I know Kenny Boy didn't like "kicking small dogs" or "kill a man" at the age of 16.

At least I don't think he did.

But regardless, do you see what I am trying to say? Reread The Times obit and tell me if that reflects the essence of a man who single handedly destroyed the lives of thousands of people? Besides from an almost whimsical self-congratulatory reference to Icarus, does any passage, senrtence, or even a word, in that paint by numbers dogshit piece give you the feeling that this was not a nice man whose unabashed greed fucked up a lot of human beings? How can the term "Liberal Press" be said with a straight face after reading such a thing?

After reading the article, I had to check the headline to see if it was really about Kenny-Boy.

I thought The Pope might have died.

And speaking of guys who get killed for knowing too much, I honestly hope one of these truth seekers...the ones on Rush Limbaugh et al who back in the 90s accused Clinton of having Vince Foster murdered...look into what actually happened to Lay. Man, oh man, they must be really pissed now.

Of course I have absolutely no proof but if you are going to tell me that a member of the inner circle of one of the most corrupt and contemptible administrations dies unexpectedly on the eve of serving possibly the rest of his life in prison, I am not thinking natural causes.

I'm thinking Cheney…in the Drawing Room…with a bottle of Drano.

Go get them fellas!!!

No. They probably won't be too outraged. There probably won't be much inquisitiveness or investigation. Hey the coroner said it was natural causes, so it was natural causes. Why are you so cynical? Why do you hate America?

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait for Oliver Stone to go down that road.

On a side note...
Does anyone else think that Norman Rockwell was possibly insane?
Larry

Like A Prayer

2006-06-19T16:24:00.000-04:00

6/19/2006

In one of the New York daily tabloids last Friday, wedged between articles about Britney Spears and the latest crime victim, was this little story accredited to the associated press. I copied it verbatim.

New translation’s Mass appeal

LOS ANGELES – The nation’s Catholic bishops signed off yesterday on a new English translation for the Mass that would change prayers ingrained in the memories of millions of American parishioners.
The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops voted at its biannual meeting for a new translation after a brief but vigorous debate over several small changes in wording. The 173-to-29 vote on the Order of the Mass was aimed at satisfying Vatican calls for a translation that’s closer to the Latin version.
Before Mass changes at the parish level, the Americans’ version must go to offices in the Holy See for final approval.
“Without a doubt, this is the most significant liturgical action to come before this body for many years,” said Bishop Donald Trautman, chairman of the conference’s Committee on Liturgy.
Here are some of the changes approved yesterday:
1) The exchanges between priest and parishioners that now go “The Lord be with you”/”And also with you” would become “The Lord be with you”/”And with your spirit.”
2) The Act of Penitence, in which parishioners now confess aloud that they have sinned “through my own fault” would include the lines “through my fault, through my most grievous fault.”
3) In the Nicene Creed, the opening words “We believe” would become “I believe.”
4) Before Communion, the prayer “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you” would become “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof.”

In contemplating this information, I was reminded of the time I was with somebody who was a born-again Christian. We were returning from...wherever...and it was very late. In fact, we were so late that we were just in time to see the Sunrise. The emerging Sun created a bright red horizon whose emanations filled the sky. Like paint on a canvas, orange hues permeated the sky, becoming more and more rust-like the further away from the core that they were. The darkened clouds drifting by in a seemingly endless pattern were the perfect punctuation points to this eerily beautiful snapshot of the daily cosmic ballet.

We stopped and stared for a minute for even in the industrial wasteland corner of Brooklyn that we called our home, the sight was awe-inspiring.

At that point, my friend turned to me and said,

I can’t believe that you could look at THAT and tell me there is NOTHING.

To which, I responded,

On the contrary, I can’t look at THAT and reduce it to a parable.

Now remember... don't say the word Fuck.

I'm so tired...
So very tired.
Larry

Know When To Fold Them

2006-06-07T12:24:00.000-04:00

6/7/2006

Bennett and Stewart

Every time I think we have culturally hit rock bottom, “The Simple Life III” comes to mind, I am presented with something that gives me hope.

Last night on The Daily Show (11pm EST – Comedy Central), Jon Stewart’s guest was former Drug Czar and all around social conservative moralist Bill Bennett. At first, I was tempted to turn it off because I figured it would be another ass-kissing session and one of the architects of the return to Puritanism would be allowed to get away unscathed out of some sense of what Richard Cohen would call “decorum.” But after some thought, I decided to keep it on. After all, what the Hell was I going to watch, the “E! True Hollywood Story: Charles in Charge”?

Boy, was I glad I did!

The topic was Gay Marriage and the debate was both lively and substantive. The only tinge of sadness I had while watching was the fact that it takes the forum of a “fake news show” with a “mock anchor” to consistently deliver quality political discussion. For those of you who did not see it last night, I implore you to watch it and judge for yourself.

Watch video link Here

courtesy of Crooks and Liars

If the link does not work, I am sure you will be able to find it on:

You Tube

Here is one exchange from the program:

Stewart: So why not encourage gay people to join in that family arrangement if that is what provides stability to a society?

Bennett: Well I think if gay…gay people are already members of families...

Stewart: What? (Almost spitting out his drink)

Bennett: They're sons and they're daughters…

Stewart:So that's where the buck stops, that's the gay ceiling.

Bennett:Look, it's a debate about whether you think marriage is between a man and a women.

Stewart: I disagree. I think it's a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish.

All I can say is thank you Jon Stewart.

It was the first time I heard a media figure or politician flat out say what I have known for years. In fact, most of these smoke screens that, as Stewart put it, “Only seem to come up in even years,” are really about one thing, usually giving in or gratifying our baser emotions while we are told that they are about some grander idea or some greater good.

The gay marriage ban has nothing to do with “protecting the sanctity of the family” or the “stability of society” because if that were the case, why would we want to preclude people from buying into the domestic bliss that we are all suppose to be coveting? It makes no sense unless you think that homosexuality is wrong. That is the real issue but if most of these politician types come out and say that, and some of them do when speaking to their bases I.E. Church groups etc., the overwhelmingly tolerant majority would be horrified at the intolerance. I think a big reason the first Bush lost to Clinton in 1992 was because of Pat Buchanan’s keynote speech at the Republican Convention that year. He attacked gays, among others, in those types of terms…and it scared a lot of people. So the window dressing goes up and otherwise enlightened people fall into line.

The illegal immigrant issue, which all of a sudden is a big concern, has nothing to do with economics or “National Security” although that is what you hear if you listen to the speeches about the topic. Whatever level of intellectual rationalization that is layered on top, the bottom line is anti-immigrant proponents, ironically most likely descendants of immigrants themselves, are capitalizing on fear. They are really saying that White people should be afraid because the country is getting darker…and “these people” speak a different language…and our culture is changing. And, of course, it goes without saying that we have to fear that change because We could not survive such changes. It is not like American culture and society has changed at all over the last 300 years! On immigration, anyone who tells you that this fear is not the driving force behind the rhetoric will probably also say that Clinton’s impeachment had nothing to do with him getting his cock sucked…It was because he lied.

And I have a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell…dirt cheap!

I will paraphrase another:

Stewart:Would you describe Dick Cheney as a “social conservative”?

Bennett: Yes I would.

Stewart: He votes consistently conservative down the line. On every issue. All except one…The Gay Marriage ban. Why do you think…

Bennett: That’s probably because of the personal experience he has had with his daughter.

Stewart: Exactly!

Bennett: But wait a minute. You can’t base your argument on a parent wanting their gay child to get married because there are plenty others who don’t want their gay kids any where near an Alter.

Strong point by Bennett. You should not judge the righteousness of a law or a policy only using anecdotal evidence because, if you do, sometimes you will lose the forest for the trees. But Stewart’s suggestion goes beyond this particular issue.

Stewart illustrates what is the problem with most of these “social conservatives.” They demonize or can not understand anything that does not happen to them personally.

There are many in this government who want to criminalize abortion but do you think if one of the Bush twins had an unwanted pregnancy they would be prevented from having one? Would they have a problem getting one? And then afterwards, would the President be clamoring to have them thrown in jail?

There are individuals who call for any “drug users” and addicts to be locked up and treated like the scum that they are. If these individual’s spouse or child were exposed to be using would they talk with the same fervor? Sometimes the individual calling for some draconian justice and an “eye for an eye” is actually high when he is saying it.

Stewart makes several other excellent points that I am not mentioning.

Why does a political party which preaches less to no government and freedom to live as one choses want to ban one from living as they chose?

In our country’s history every great step in our social evolution, such as abolition of slavery and women’s suffrage, has been met with hardcore resistance which ultimately has been proven wrong over time. Why is gay rights/marriage any different?

Please, just watch it.

And one last thing. After watching the interview, ask yourself,

Why didn’t Stewart mention that the moralizing, self-righteous, “Christian Values” Bill Bennett is, in actuality, a degenerate gambler who has been seen at Las Vegas casinos dropping more money at Black Jack tables in one hour than most of the people he is telling how to live make in a year?”

I suggest if this was Bill O’Reilly, or any other “Political Debate” talk show on Fox, CNN, MSNBC or any other network for that matter, that point would be the center of the debate, consuming the whole show, leaving the viewer with some knowledge of the personal habits of the interview subject but having little or no additional info, context or insight about the actual topic.

Especially so if the guest is a “liberal.”

John Stewart has too much journalistic integrity to do that kind of trash.

Larry

Vox and Robbers

2006-05-31T15:10:00.000-04:00

5/31/2006

Now you’re talking!

I have been hearing much passionate debate over the last couple of weeks between many concerned citizens. In the subway cars, there is talk of voter fraud. On the elevators, there is outrage over illegal election results. Throughout the cubes, loud heated arguments about performance are bellowing through the air.

I have to admit, the vibrant aura was exciting and I immediately tried to join in. I agreed that it was an outrage that the current Administration started a war on false pretenses. I said that I was dismayed that the Republican controlled legislature suspended the right of Habeas Corpus. And most recently, the Atty. General is debating with lawmakers legislation that will give the government power to prosecute and imprison journalists and reporters if what they write is deemed detrimental to our “National Security.” What is detrimental to our National Security, of course, will be determined by the government.

I think Nixon used this argument when he tried to hide the Watergate Tapes.

No matter. What is particularly disturbing is that the idea of targeting journalists is actually being contemplated although the Bill of Rights clearly states:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

It’s the first one.

Come to think of it, every other element of that paragraph is being trampled on so why the hell should I care?

When I voiced these opinions, instead of the "right on" fist pumps or "fuck you" facials, I was met with mostly dull glances and mouth agape disinterest. After panning the disengaged or annoyed faces, and a few uncomfortable seconds of cold sweat and crickets, I realized what my error was:

They weren’t talking...well, yelling actually...about the Government. They were shouting about the Fox Network talent contest American Idol.

I better get with the program!

So, in that vein, here is an article that was forwarded to me about my pop-culture du jour, Bono of U2. I know I am beating a dead horse here but I promise this is the last time I will bring up the Lucky Charms Leprechaun on this Blog.

I feel that this incident/interview illustrates perfectly what my objections are to the self proclaimed humanitarian:

Bono hails Cohen genius

U2 singer Bono has proclaimed Leonard Cohen as the "original rapper" and has confessed to stealing lyrics from him.
The Irish frontman made the comments at a preview of the forthcoming film 'Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man', which offers an insight into the life of the acclaimed poet, novelist and songwriter.

Bono said: "He's an extraordinary talent, and anyone who's interested in music has got to be interested in him.

"He's the original rapper, you know, if you're interested in hip-hop. He's a sexy man who made sexy music, who made music asking questions about God and girls and everything."

The singer also admitted to stealing the lyrics to U2's 1991 hit 'The Fly' ("It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest/ It's no secret ambition bites the nails of success") from Cohen's 'Everybody Knows'.

"I think the obvious one is 'The Fly,' " Bono admitted. "It's a couplet device from Leonard. There's many more that I would never admit.

"I feel all kinds of unusual feelings in his company - like humility and modesty.

"Very few people walk this particular piece of ground that Leonard Cohen walks, and I'm aspiring one day to get close. I know I'll never get there."

from - Virgin Music News

A friend of mine, after reading this, made a very good point. He asked why Mr. Vox did not make his theft ("the obvious one") of Cohen’s lyrics known at the time. That was in 1991 and U2’s popularity was reaching a crescendo. If Bono truly thought, "(Cohen is)...an extraordinary talent, and anyone who's interested in music has got to be interested in him." Then why did he not want to turn on his millions of fans to his music? Not only were these fans probably uninterested, but they possibly never even heard of Cohen. What a grand opportunity for the pied piper to use his fame to shine a light on a much deserving artist and possibly making the world a better place in the process.

But that, of course, didn’t happen.

Instead of giving Cohen credit, Bono accepted all the accolades and awards for the critically acclaimed and extremely popular song. Instead of sharing the spotlight with the song’s co-creator, Bono spent his time amassing obscene piles of cash and "...counting them dollar bills…ONE HUNDRED…TWO HUNDRED!!!" Instead of showing any emotion remotely, "...like humility and modesty," Bono’s transparent lust for adoration sang from the highest mountain tops and echoed in the deepest valleys.

It is the epitome of selfishness.

(By the by, did you notice how I did not take credit for someone else’s idea up there? How quaint!)

But also, the crux of my complaint is Bono’s whole tone. Although he uses very deferential words when describing Cohen, if you read between the lines, Bono makes it sound like Cohen should almost be grateful for the "homage" or at least he does not have a hint of "guilt" when discussing what is essentially a crime.

Instead of being honored, I’m picturing Cohen’s reaction upon hearing of Bono’s "tribute," back in 1991 to be something like:

THAT COCK SUCKER DID WHAT!?!

Interestingly enough, U2 started out as a Christian rock band back in the late 1970s and early 1980s before taking a more mainstream turn. There still is a definite Christian thread running through their work. With lyrics like "You broke the bonds/loosed the chains/carried the cross on my shame/on my shame/but yet I'm still running" the single I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For off The Joshua Tree album is the most obvious example.

Bono Vox and The Edge (center, bearing cross)
and Adam Clayton (left, with cat and nine tails)
with groupies at the 'Joshua Tree' album rap party
Malibu, CA - 1987

So I have no doubt that Bono and definitely The Edge, possibly even the drunk and the other guy, believe there is a Heaven and all of the great dead artists that he mimics, compares himself to or blatantly rips off, are looking down on him and giving their approval.

Believe me if there is such a place, artists like Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix, Billie Holliday, John Lennon, George Harrison, Bob Marley even Frank Sinatra are not glowingly giving a nod to the rape of their legacies. They’re more likely patiently waiting. Waiting for Bono’s arrival.

When that time comes, this group will stand at the Pearly Gates. John Lennon will be the first soul to greet the dearly departed. He will shake hands and keep eye contact. After these pleasantries are exchanged, John will casually mention that he once heard the U2 classic "God Part II."

And then Lennon is going to take it out of Bono’s hide.

The pummeling will continue for a long time with the only sound being the reinforcing cheers of “Go Johnny! Go Johnny!” from the rest of the bunch...along with the soothing melodic plucking of a distant harp.

Or as my father use to say,

You’re going to reap just what you sow.

Made it up himself.
At least that’s what he told me.
Larry

Maybe He's Amazed

2006-05-22T09:02:00.000-04:00

5/22/2006

I’m really disappointed that during a very difficult and emotional time for both Heather and myself, there are certain people in the media who are writing things about Heather that are plain not true. It's been suggested that she married me for the money, and there is not an ounce of truth to this. She is a very generous person who spends most of her time trying to help others in greater need than herself. All the work she does is unpaid so these stories are ridiculous and unfounded. I’m very sad to see that some insensitive people would choose a moment like this to spread these vicious rumors.

Paul McCartney
A statement he posted 5/17/2006
on - PaulMcCartney.com

Don’t fuck with me Saul...DO NOT fuck with me!!! Tell me HOW MANY ZEROS does that one-legged bitch want?

Paul McCartney
Same night on the
phone with his lawyer.

And exactly why was Yoko bad again?
Larry

Poetry in Motion

2006-05-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

5/17/2006

Score one for the MTA

Here in New York, The Poetry Society has been running a program called “Poetry in Motion” for the last ten years. In conjunction with the MTA (Metropoplitain Transit Authority) the society has been placing standard size advertisements, for lack of a better term, all over the buses and the subways. These posters instead of a photo of a beautiful model, an expensive automobile or a bottle of liquor, feature poems from various poets. It is an attempt at providing “culture” to the masses of people who are riding these concofinous metal tubes to their own personal dance floors they call their jobs.

I have been following this program since its inception and usually, I have to admit, I think the poems are awful or, at least, I just don’t get them. On the same token, I don’t “get” most poetry that does not start off, “There once was a man from Nantucket...” so I am probably not the best person to judge the quality of the prose.

With that being said, on the Number 1 Train this morning, this latest entry caught my eye:

Out beyond ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing
There is a field
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, and even the phrase “each other”
Does not make any sense.

My initial reaction was overwheming:

Who wrote this new age hippy claptrap? Was it one of those “secularlist” left wing liberal professors of Berkley trying to destroy Christianity by suggesting that the idea of “rightdoing” and “wrongdoing” are only ideas and not God’s law? Was it the ACLU who have been fighting a war against Christmas and everything good since their inception? I am so fed up with these weirdos spreading their bullshit! I wish we could go back to a time when “morals” and “faith” ruled supreme, before those 1960s long haired ungrateful spoiled brats started complaining about stuff. These lefties should try that in Russia and see what happens to them. Elitist bastards!!! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! GOD DAMN IT!!!

I was furious that MY TAX DOLLARS was paying for this “program” that obviously was immoral and anti-Christian. I wanted to know the name of this “poet” who was so arrogant to write this filth. I decided when I arrived at work I was going to write a scathing post slamming this bearded jerk who has the audacity to question. I was going to put that pampered little college grad where he belonged: Licking the boots of real men.

So I looked at the bottom of this trash that these people call “art” and found the author’s name.

Rumi (1207- 1273)

Ummmm...that was a long time ago.

With minimal effort, this is what I found these various statements that were applied to him:

"If there is any general idea underlying Rumi's poetry, it is the absolute love of God."

from - Khamush.com

"Rumi is still read today, and his followers, whirling dervishes (holy men), still perform their elegant, hypnotic dances to express the idea that God can be experienced in manifold ways."

from – Life Magazine

"Here it is important to remember that while Rumi was informed by numerous sources of ideas, on his journey he seemed to leave many of his contemporaries behind—his love and compassion flowed like the waters of the world’s oceans; so much so that while continuing to live physically among humans, he managed to become ever closer to God."

from - Whirling Dervishes.org

For a more “objective” or “secular” look at this guy you could check out Rumi's Biography or, for a straight timeline of his life poetseers.com

Very interesting stuff.

Although Rumi wrote about 800 years ago, his work seems to get closer to what the actual essence of being is than anything I have heard from anybody over at The 700 Club or The Pope or any Aayatollah or Grand Rebbe in my lifetime.

The shit I hear at PNAC sucks too.

Oh well.

And for all of you reading this who feel isolated or alienated because you feel that there is more to the world than consumption. For the people out there who feel that THEY are strange because they feel compassion yet everywhere you turn you see imbeciles telling you to fear what you don’t know. For the ones who have empathy although all you see are inhuman blow hards rattling their sabres convincing you that you should despise what you don’t understand.

For anyone out there like that, don’t let ANYONE tell you you’re “crazy” “evil” or “silly” because your philosophy of life takes you beyond our borders and ideas while they straight jacket themselves to two dimensional thinking. Thinking that is leading us all to an unrecognizable state. Do not ever apologize for your inquistiveness and be wary of those who want you to.

In fact, for some, the ideology doesn’t even go beyond their own feeble mind.

There are more things in heaven and earth...
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

- William Shakespeare

To the ones who continue to strive for understanding.
Who continue to give a damn.
I say…
You are not alone.
Larry